AIBU to let my son skip this at school?

[Redcliff]

My DS is 10 and has been doing WW2 at school. Tomorrow the class are watching "boy in the striped pyjamas". We had to sign a consent slip last week and were happy to do so. Tonight he has been in tears saying he doesn't want to see it.

My DP has made some good points about how important a film it is but I hate to think of him so upset. AIBU to tell his teacher that he can sit it out?

No I wouldn't. My DS aged 10 watched Good Night Mr Tom with me and that upset him quite a bit. No way would I let him watch this film at school with his class mates. Good night Mr Tom is probably a good substitute though. DSs Year are also studying WW2

It's not only that they would be upset about it at 10 - but they could get so much more from it & thinking about the issues it discusses when they were 12 or 13.

My DC are 9 yo and have been aware of the Holocaust for a while. However hearing about history isn't the same as seeing a film.

That said I don't really have a problem with my kids seeing something that makes them cry - some things should make you cry. School probably isn't the place for it though.

If you are happy for him to watch it, why not agree to watch it at home together, which would be a more supportive environment.

Otherwise let him skip it. He can learn about the Holocaust without the film.

The boy in the striped pyjamas is a shit story, completely implausible and very patronising in its attitudes towards the victims: don't see why it would be an essential part of understanding about the Holocaust at all. Even if your ds were of an age where learning about the Holocaust was appropriate

Agreed. I watched it a few years ago, and honestly can't remember most of it, other than thinking it was a pile of crap, and the ending was totally ridiculous. Also, that the lead boy was a terrible actor.

I can't see any value in 10 year olds watching this movie, so if your son wants to skip it I'd let him. I wonder if the teacher has actually watched it themselves, because it's about as far from an authentic retelling of the holocaust as you can get.

I would let him skip it if I thought it was going to upset him for a long time afterwards (I would expect some of the class to be upset while watching it). I'm not sure I would want a sensitive 10yo to watch it TBH.

If he's already upset now, that isn't a good sign. I would say the ending, certainly, is intense for 10 year old children. I would feel horribly uncomfortable showing that to kids of that age. Have a chat with the teacher and they can advise you on whether there are certain parts he can skip or if he should leave the whole thing and save it for a few years.

Awwww bless him. I absolutely sobbed my heart out watching this movie.

No way should he be made to watch it.
YANBU

I would be wary about this one, I cried my eyes out watching it, surely there is a more 'educational' film they could watch to understand more about this?

YANBU - there's a reason that it has a 12A classification, and the BBFC's own notes on the film are useful if you do decide to talk to his teacher about him not watching it in class.

Joining those who say it's crap. It wound me up from the start. No German speaker would confuse Führer and fury, because they're totally different words in German. And that was just in the first page or so.

There are loads of books and films about WW2, including those suitable for 10 year old. Why can't they use a decent one?

Eeeeek, I wouldn't let a 10-year old watch it! My 8-year old DTDs have asked about it, but I've told them they're too young to watch. If your son doesn't want to watch it, then I really wouldn't force him.

I'd have objected immediately on the grounds it's being proposed as if 'educational' when its massively historically inaccurate!

No problem with children this age being introduced to what happened in an age appropriate and accurate way, this film is neither.

Lots of adults know bugger all about the holocaust, somehow they still get through life.

Red please do not make your son watch a film he does not wish to watch. School have no right to impose this particular film on him.

You or they can teach about the holocaust without using an age inappropriate film.

There are tons of tragedies around the world, Rwanda being one, the murder and concentration camps of North Korea etc etc, kids do not learn about everything by Year 4 or 5 at school.

Let your son make sensible decisions for himself and he is far more likely to pay attention when this is taught in school.

Wow. I agree he is too young but I am a bit surprised at the level of vitriol on the thread towards the film. I don't disagree with some of the points but I definitely believe in teaching about the Holocaust when students are 11/12 (for several reasons) and I think the film does a reasonable job of portraying the moral complexities involved with being someone 'on the other side of the fence'. It is a bit ham-fisted, yes, but it is surely about how such evil became so 'normal' to the perpetrators and those who did nothing to stop them, that people did collude/ignore/excuse what was happening. My Y7s got a lot out of it and certainly didn't come away with any rose-tinted ideas about the culpability of the guilty. Anyway, an interesting thread.

red what Year us your ds?

I think he's too young, and if he has personally expressed that he doesn't want to see it, I think it would be unkind and irresponsible to force him to see it.

Trifle - Ww2 is part of the curriculum covered in yr6. I suppose some schools cover the holocaust in more detail than others.

This seems awfully young to be watching quite distressing material.

I don't disagree, Mummy. Y6 wouldn't have been too young for me and I think some children would deal with it better than others, but I can see how it would be unsuitable for a significant minority so I would avoid the Holocaust until Y7. That being said, I don't think we should always shy away from distressing/upsetting subject matter.

I agree with you Trifle.

I found it very distressing and think it is best left until they are 12/13. YWNBU to remove him from that lesson.

Agree it's too young. You can teach about distressing subjects without provoking an embarrassing emotional breakdown in front of their friends!! He sounds sensitive, and that's not a bad thing overall.

Being sensitive is no bad thing, not at all. Being forced into hiding that sensitivity because emotions are 'embarrassing'? Hmm. That is dodgier ground for me.

I've read the book however I couldn't watch all of the film as I found it too distressing.
I wouldn't let my 10 year watch it as I think it would give her nightmares.
She does know a little bit about the holocaust but I've explained it in very simple way i.e. Hitler was a horrible man who didn't like Jewish people & sent them all away to a prison camp also known as a concentration camp. They didn't get much food & didn't get any medicine when ill. They all had to live there until they died. Some died when they were young but most were adults.

I think DD can wait for a few years until she needs to know about the severe brutality of it all & how people were actually killed & the methods. But most importantly how we should never forget the millions of people of subjected to this horror & why it should never happen again.

Please do listen to your son & speak to the teacher. But also be aware about what his classmates tell him.

trifle I'm not saying he needs to hide his sensitivity - there is a difference between demonstrating sensitivity in your dealings with such topics, and outright having a massive cry in front of a bunch of less sensitive friends. Which would be embarrassing. It's unnecessary.

Tranquiltess:

Tricky. I don't think there is anything wrong with crying, although I appreciate his friends might. I have always said to my students that I don't mind if they want to go outside at all when we are watching a film. That doesn't work for everyone. What I wouldn't want to do is instil the idea that crying is shameful. A hard balance, I feel.