To think that dh should treat my dc as equal.

[ABasicBitch]

I married my dh 5 years ago he has a son 16 and a dd 13 and I had a ds 16 and a ds 14.

I feel like they aren't always treated equally for example dh takes his ds and dd on days out and shopping trips and won't take my dc.

Dh earns a lot more than me and we keep our finances separate and he does pay half of mortgage and utilities and this is far. He does pay for family outings it just seems unfair that his dc have a lot more and get treated much more and mine don't.

At Xmas we try and keep it the same. It's elsewhere when the inequality starts.

I mean what am I supposed to buy the dc loads of gifts now to make sure they have the same.

What I'm struggling to understand is that if all it took was a MN thread an a quick conversation, why on earth you would wait 5 years to look after your childrens interests? They won't forget so easily.

Seems all it needed was more/better communication between the two of you

....something we could all do with!

Casey

that's like saying to an abused woman 'why has it taken you so long to do something about what's staring you in the face?'

I find comparison quite offensive. Please don't use DV victims as an aid to an argument about money.

... judging by the fact that it isn't the op's dc who have commented on the family finances or any materialistic differences - i doubt it's something they would even care to remember.

lol, this thread shows that pages and pages of abuse about a DH can be completely wrong if they don't take into account the fact that both a DH and the DW are completely daft (no offense OP!).

If neither of them actually sat down and discussed this properly before they married (which they should have done) and the OP refused to communicate for years to her DH (who had no idea he was in the wrong), you can end up a chorus of LTBs before anything has even had a chance to be fixed.

OP: you really do owe your children an apology.

Well, to quote Friedman
" the only relevant test of the validity of a hypothesis is comparison of prediction with experience "

Clearly her husband wasn't being a dick then and they just needed to talk.

Call me cynical...
Anyone else think there's a difference between "of course we'll have a joint account darling" and the OP actually using that account in the same way?

Proof is in the pudding.

You shouldn't note what he spends and go tit for tat, but I wonder what the reaction will be when you next spend £500 on a birthday party.

OP, have you actually discussed how the joint account will work? What is the amount to be discussed before spending, what can just be spent?

Some people are so negative and the man can never do anything right 🙄

Casey

I find comparison quite offensive. Please don't use DV victims as an aid to an argument about money.

Financial abuse is a form of abuse. Couldn't didn't say DV, you did. There's nothing wrong with her analogy.