To be fed up reading this on every Mother's Day thread?

[Saxa]

"You're not

There are 364 other days you could celebrate Christmas too.....but most do it when they're told

I swear the inquests over Mother's day last longer every year.

Thats true ilovesooty

Its been a whole day after all

Yeah another vote here for it being a twatty response. I honestly roll my eyes and let out a groan when I see it. If there was one phrase I could opt out of seeing on MN it would be that one.

If DH overlooked Mother's day I'm so tempted to "over look" Father's Day too. What is that as mothers we can process million things.. just not fair!

He probably wouldn't give a shit though.

Hmmm - remind me... how long has 'father's day' been around and why did that start? We know there's history around Mother's Day and how it came about, but Father's day?

My DF would have thought I'd gone daft if I'd acknowledged it! He had no idea when Father's Day was supposed to be, so it must be a recent thing.

Totally agree with you OP.

Inspired by the success and presence of Mother’s Day, the history of Fathers Day in the UK began not too long afterwards (both early 20th century).

Not too long after mothers day apparently

I remember doing fathers day and mothers day for my parents

Yip, there are 364 other days of the year, but I don't see anything wrong with celebrating it on a set day. People's lives are so busy sometimes it helps to have a recognised date on the calendar that's set aside. Otherwise it would turn into something no-one ever got around to doing anything about.

I realise the world wouldn't end, and personally it wouldn't fuss me too much not to mark it at all but I don't see why some posters are actively against it.

Surely dads give their partner a Mother's Day gift/card because she is the mother of their children? And vice-versa for Father's Day?

Obviously every family makes their own traditions but that is what my parents did so I don't see it as weird.

When I was a child we'd go to see my grandparents on Sunday afternoons and we'd give Gran a card too as she was Mum's mum! Don't all explode at once.

YANBU

No we dont do that happy

Bought a mothers day card for my granny for some reason

But my children dont do it for their nanny

I'm in two minds about this. I hate the "we all have to buy loads of shit because it's a DAY " attitude; obviously, it's much more important that the love and appreciation is there and shown every day.

BUT small children get so much pleasure out of doing something "for Mother's Day" and when they're small, they need their dad to facilitate that. So I think he should do - in whatever way - for the kids as much as for their mother, if that makes sense.

I think that a lot of people on mumsnet seem to take mothers day far too seriously, like its their birthday? When really to me its always just been a bit like valentines day, a day when we're just told to send cards to say stuff we say everyday?
Your DC's dad should definitely help the dc with a card and a small present if their still young but its really weird to get you something from them. I dont really see how you can really fuck up mothers day.

I'm so glad you said this op! It's exactly what I was thinking!

No I'm not dh's mother, that's pretty obvious, don't need that reminder. But I am the mother of his children and responsible for the largest part of running our family and household, which he truly appreciates! He shows me this appreciation all the time (oh yeah, and we also don't need to be reminded there are 364 other days in a year but on MD I get a little extra something, a card with my 2 year olds' scribbles inside which I shall treasure forever and a token gift which for the second part I'm not even as fussed about, but it does feel nice. I also get to spend time with them as a family and a few hours to relax by myself. I feel loved and appreciated and on that day I think wow, I really must be doing a good job at this mother/family thing (and who doesn't have doubts about that from time to time.) I love showing our appreciation for dh on Father's Day too.

If people think it's commercialised bullshit and husbands shouldn't have to involve themselves in any acts of appreciation to the mother of their children, then that's fine, feel free to have your opinion, but that doesn't make it the right one. It's up to us as individuals as to how we choose to view Mother's Day. Who are they to tell a woman how she should be feeling when she's obviously feeling upset and under appreciated by her family. I've had enough of men telling me how to feel thanks, so won't be accepting any of that bs on a day like Mother's Day from fellow females.

I think they should probably stop celebrating their dh's birthdays by this account, and not give their kids any help with the occasion either, as it's not like they gave birth to dh on that day, so it's pretty meaningless and nothing to do with anyone else....

...Or we could just celebrate the few things that are worth celebrating in this short, short life. Celebrating people I love is high on my list, on a regular day and even more so a specially celebrated day.

a day when we're just told to send cards to say stuff we say everyday?

Charlie has it. Perhaps it only matters if the appreciation is missing for the rest of the year. In which case you have a dp problem, not a Mother's Day problem.

In my family parents have always given their wife or husband a card and something on mothers or Father's Day.
It's nice to show your partner how much you appreciate everything they do. My husband gets me a card and a present from himself and ds on Mother's Day. I do the same for him on Father's Day. After all, we wouldn't be parents without each other. Only right we acknowledge that

When dd was about 14 she said on Md sooo mum whens Daughter day ? Oh how I laughed 😊

I'm another one for the father of your children to support/encourage or buy gifts/cards/etc for the mother of their children on Mothers Day. I was raised with my dad doing this, and my mother doing the same on Fathers day. I don't find it unusual.

However DP has said he finds it 'weird'. But then I'm the one sorting his DM's gift and card... She isn't my mum, isn't that just as weird? And if I don't put my name in the card she isn't best pleased... I find that odd. Do the same for his DF on Father's day.

OK as a silly idea:
Rather than 'observing' (read, being ripped off for overpriced tat) why not instigate a 'parents day' in YOUR family. Where DPs (both of them) get children (age appropriate) to do a little something for BOTH parents, be it a card, flowers whatever to show that the children appreciate the parents.
The day would be determined by the childs birthday (s).

MrsJayy My 8yo came out with that gem this year! Ha ha. And I have also had 'the line' from dh.

When dc were tiny I forgot* fathers day one year - finally cottoned on mid afternoon why dh was in such a bad mood

*partially forgot - I had of course prepared cards and crafts with the tinies, just forgot to dispense them in the morning, what with having to feed and clothe the dc single bloody handed and all.

Charlie why is a birthday more important though? The day which a mother gave birth to their child? You can celebrate the day somebody was born, but you can't celebrate the constant and never ending love, guidance and support that a good mother provides?

What is it, we chose to give birth so for that we are responsible and therefore we should sacrifice the rest of our lives without even a hint of thanks or an I love you, mum? Oh but happy birthday - today is the day you were ejected from a dilated cervix!

Some people remember to do this every day, others need a day to remind them. Where is the harm, honestly.

I personally don't care much about my own birthday, though I care about others. I don't say this out loud but to me personally it's mostly meaningless except to mark off another year and celebrate my success in not yet dying. I truly care about whether my family love and appreciate me however, and same goes for my own mum. Another excuse for doing that is fine by me, so welcome home MD. You could do anything to show it too, you don't need to buy any commercialist stuff if it bothers you. Just make the effort somehow.

I always promised myself I wouldn't get involved in a Mother's Day thread but here I am. Time for bed methinks!

Completely agree with Op. it's so tiresome and sometimes it seems like posters are falling over themselves to be the first to say it, always implying that they are just sooo confused by the very notion that the DCs father might have anything to do with Mother's Day! Lots of faces for good measure of course.

It's not the biggest deal in the world but as a mother it's nice to receive a card/small gift on Mother's Day. Just as DH appreciates it on Father's Day too. We also show love and appreciation on birthdays, Christmas and random days of the week lest anyone assume otherwise.

Each to their own but when posters get particularly sneery about it I assume it's a bit of a defence mechanism OR they're just very negative people generally and don't really do fun.

Inspired by the success and presence of Mother's Day, the history of Fathers Day in the UK began not too long afterwards (both early 20th Century)

Dunno about Fathers Day, but the tradition of Mothering Sunday goes back several hundred years further than that.

I agree with you, OP.

A two year old isn't going to be able to buy or make something for their mother on their own, so it seems very obvious that the child's father is going to have to step in and organise it. It amazes me when posters think mums' just need to wait until their child is old enough to get money of their own and somehow get to the shops (or craft cupboard) on their own before they can get a MD present. In that case, most mums' wouldn't receive anything until their kid is about 14. Does that mean they weren't a mum for all the year prior to that?

Sometimes the way dismissive way in which it's said by posters who don't feel that way is very nasty.

This is the only board I've really seen this sentiment on, so I'm wondering if it's a predominately British thing. It doesn't seem to come up on other non-UK boards I read.