To think this rules to apply to "our little darling"

[NootNoot]

Hard hat on & fire extinguisher ready

Went to Kew Gardens over the weekend- gorgeous day, place was packed, lots of families. Plenty of youngsters running about, shouting, having a great old time.

Walking past the Orangery there is a lovely display of small blue flowers which have cropped up on the grass- not bluebells but tiny little meadow flower type things. Signs every 5-10m saying "these are part of our meadow collection, please stay off the grass". Small child aged about 3, running up & down through the flowers, stamping on them, picking them etc. Parents looking on indulgently, taking photographs etc.

Middle aged man with a rather fancy camera (looked like a realy Kew enthusiast) lost his shit with the parents- pointed out the child was destroying the flowers, clearly states keep off grass etc etc. Parents just smile benignly & said "oh but she's having so much fun"..

I appreciate toddlers can be tricky/wilful etc but for the love of god that surely isn't an excuse to trash the place? There's tonnes of "plain" grass areas to run about/pick daisies etc. FWIW we crossed paths with them later on & the father was watching the child pulling petals off the magnolia trees!!

I saw something similar yesterday. We were sitting in the garden of a lovely country pub. A boy of about 8 or 9 walked along a border of daffodils at the edge of the garden and picked the lot. His parents, who were sitting at one of the tables, looked on indulgently and tied them into 2 nice fat bouquets.

Bloody hell that would infuriate me too.

Ok so if the kid jumps up there it's a mistake but to let them stay there is plain rude and ignorant!

Used to work in a zoo. We had free range geese that couldn't fly off but had free access to all the grounds. It was lovely, watching them potter about, especially when the chicks hatched. But wow did we have problems with people chasing them. I used to just walk up behind people and say 'They can't fly, so when they get tired of running, they'll turn round and start biting,' which mostly stopped the problem. Or you'd watch a parent watching their child quite happily, then tell them off hurridly as soon as a staff member appeared. "I've told you not to do that". Um, no you haven't, you've been taking pictures.
Feeding the animals. "He just cares about them and wanted to feed them." It's nice he cares but he's just tried to feed the monkey chocolate. Which will make the monkey very ill, or in the worst case scenario kill it, if he happens to have a cold or something that passes on. If he cares, tell him to be a zookeeper when he's older. And he might care but polystyrene is no good for any animal and I'd have thought as his parent you might have stopped him pushing it through the mesh. That particular animal might like a nibble out of his finger though, is that ok with you?
Visiting another zoo out of uniform I watched with my mouth hanging open as a teenager stood balanced on the outer fence of an enclosure, resting her hand on the inner fence, in order to put her camera up close to the mesh to get a better picture. The animal inside? A tiger. But her need for a photo was so important that she couldn't possibly stay behind the barrier like everyone else. She was lucky that there were enough people around telling her to get down that she sulkily did as she was told, before the tiger showed her exactly why there are 2 barriers there...

I had a mouthful of abuse at Colchester Zoo a few years ago. Big line of children walking though an exhibit with very clear 'keep to the path' signs.
I pointed out to a parent that their toddler shouldn't be running all over the exhibit (lots of other small children moaning beucase their parents wouldn't let them do the same) - in amongst the abuse she asked 'what do you want me to do he's only 2?' - my answer of hold his hand and tell him 'no' didn't go down all that well.

But I do also echo the poster who said that most kids are well behaved. I teach at a visitor attraction, so lots of excited school kids, and for the most part, they are a joy. Taught around 50 kids today, and I can't say any of them caused any problems. They were, by and large, polite, sensible, interested, and I had a great time with both groups. We had a laugh, they learnt some stuff (I hope) and their parents can be very proud of them. It's rare we get real issues, but it does happen. Had one kid throw a massive strop the other week and refuse to join in anything. She did her own thing entirely and missed everything the class was engaged in, no SN (we get SN kids through regularly, I always ask the teachers before I teach if there is anything in the class I should know about, and if there is, what can I do to make the day run smoothly). Her teachers comment was "she'll be happy if she's doing exactly what she wants". I just felt sorry for the other kids who had their day disrupted as we all tried to work out what to do with this one difficult child. She was fine right up until someone said no to her and then it all went wrong. But times like that are rare, and I can teach 150-200 kids a week. It is worth remembering that most kids are brilliant, and a lot of fun to hang out with because they understand the rules and stick to them, or I wouldn't do what I do.

Is this 'free range' as in animals?
Well if the cap fits...

I am on maternity leave from Kew and in my years there I have encountered some of the most self indulgent, rude parents that once they are inside the garden walls think their children are no longer their responsibility. This does not surprise me in the slightest. Its also not a park, it's a botanic garden. The plants and trees are living specimens! (Used to tell parents that a lot when their kids were climbing trees)

Well it's not just kids. Last spring went to lovely nt Victorian park along a river. Signs up everywhere-dogs on leads, do not allow them in river because of nesting birds. This of course didn't apply to all the dogs and their owners and kids splashing about and climbing up and down the bank. (Dh-a keen birder was going puce) Then at end of valley beautiful parkland, including several wildflower fields. Signs up to this effect, keep off no ball games. Big group of Young people having picnic in the middle, kicking a ball about, making chains of the flowers (not daisies). My inner Teacher emerged several times that day.

Thank you, but it is also down to parenting. And the teachers. Some classes, you can stand there with 'The Look' and everyone goes quiet. That's because they know that look and what it means, and they know how to behave, which is very little to do with me and everything to do with the important adults in their life. Those are the fun classes, because you know you can have fun, makes jokes, but pull them back into the lesson when you need to, knowing they'll come with you. The lessons where the kids are rowdy are never as much fun because you have to keep a much tighter rein on it to start with, otherwise you can't pull it back.
I never understand why some people cannot see the difference between quashing their spirit and asking them to behave in a way that makes it more enjoyable for everyone. These things are poles apart it the 'free range' advocates just don't get it.

I haven't read the entire thread...

Every spring we have to have the same "talk" with the children, especially KS1, about not picking flowers. Children think it is ok to pick the council planted daffodils and then leave a trail of them along the pavements, or pick the ones growing around our school...And their parents let them do it!!! I would be livid if my own kids did it.

I once stopped a preschool child from pulling up some newly planted bedding plants in our playground, and her mother walked off with her complaining very loudly that she was " just a little child"...As if that somehow makes it ok!

I work in a school. I've witnessed, more than once, a child telling the parent that they (the child) is not allowed to do something (cycle in the playground, eat in the foyer) and the parent ignoring them and saying 'It's OK'.

It makes me shake my head really - they would actively undermine their child's desire to do the Right thing, and the school, all at the same time.

It's not surprising some children struggle with following rules and etiquette.

Crap grammar above but you get the gist!

The zoo stories remind me of the story of a PFB in America or Canada. Despite the signs to beware of bears, the parents were keen to have a photo of their little darling stroking one. So keen in fact that they dipped PFB's hand in honey to encourage the bear to come nearer. Unfortunately, the bear misunderstood what it was supposed to do and ate the child's hand.

Middling

Jeepers! That sounds like some sort of Roald Dahl allegory

Dreadful behaviour of the parents. this is the sort of thing that really pisses me off. The same as those snow flakes who watch tv or play music on their phones on public transport without headphones. Self centrered entitled dicks

NotYoda Yes, it does, but as far as I am aware, it's a true story, although it happened many years ago. I can only guess that the parents weren't too bright...

The twenty somethings we have had visit the site over the last few years or so are something else. Their sense of entitlement is massive. They are often genuinely interested, really want to explore etc. So they do. In and out of clearly closed rooms, being asked not to go up a closed and unsafe staircase and newly planted sections of garden and when challenged are utterly non-plussed as to why they are not allowed or that any of us should pull then up on it. They usually get VERY whiney and then some will get quite hostile though not too often. They generally flounce off in utter disbelief to be heard saying ‘But its not FAIR’

Sounds like some of my undergraduates. There is a generation of highly privileged children - they are the children of Thatcher's children, I'm afraid.

Thank god for my hippy parents ...

I let DD off with a lot so long its not harming anyone but no way to destroying nature or upsetting animals in any form. yanbu.

We're English Heritage members so the DCs have grown up visiting castles, monuments and 'special' sorts of places. I'd go bezerk if they damaged or destroyed anything at any age; they can understand the word 'no' from a very early age, it's just a shame so many parents don't bother to teach it.

I was also at Kew this weekend. The flowers are called Glory of the Snow, and looked so beautiful. I didn't see this family, but I did see a large handful of the flowers which had been dropped in the children's play area. I think the attitude of such parents reveals utter selfishness. It is such a shame that their children are being taught the same.

Great thread. I'm gnawing my fist with suppressed rage, but great thread...

One of my pet hates are the parents who take their small children to aquarium shops and stand with them smiling indulgently, and even pointing out fish to them, while their offspring bang on the glass and smear their hands down the front of the tanks. You can see the shock waves frightening the fish every time they do it. Grrr.

A few months ago there were two children having a game of football in the middle of a department store. The ball hit me and I lost it big time. Yelled at them that they were in a shop and not a park. The ball had rolled under one of the clothes racks and as they were frantically searching for it I booted it much further under. It is probably still there now. Parents eventually appeared and were not in the slightest bit concerned. I was livid at the whole thing.

YANBU I hate parents /kids like this. I'm all for kids being kids and having fun, but they need to be shown how to respect others, and objects that don't belong to them! The park keepers at Kew didn't plant stuff for kids to demolish, that's just fkg rude of the stupid parents to let them do that 😠