To think this rules to apply to "our little darling"

[NootNoot]

Hard hat on & fire extinguisher ready

Went to Kew Gardens over the weekend- gorgeous day, place was packed, lots of families. Plenty of youngsters running about, shouting, having a great old time.

Walking past the Orangery there is a lovely display of small blue flowers which have cropped up on the grass- not bluebells but tiny little meadow flower type things. Signs every 5-10m saying "these are part of our meadow collection, please stay off the grass". Small child aged about 3, running up & down through the flowers, stamping on them, picking them etc. Parents looking on indulgently, taking photographs etc.

Middle aged man with a rather fancy camera (looked like a realy Kew enthusiast) lost his shit with the parents- pointed out the child was destroying the flowers, clearly states keep off grass etc etc. Parents just smile benignly & said "oh but she's having so much fun"..

I appreciate toddlers can be tricky/wilful etc but for the love of god that surely isn't an excuse to trash the place? There's tonnes of "plain" grass areas to run about/pick daisies etc. FWIW we crossed paths with them later on & the father was watching the child pulling petals off the magnolia trees!!

Could you not find a member of staff to have a word with the parents?

I bloody love Kew. But there is rarely a visit where i don't see something like this. Winds me up. These are the same parents moaning, or trying to sneak their kids into a roped off area as it would make a good picture.
As the child stomps across the precious orchid /snake head.

"don't pick the flowers / get off the flowers, they are there for everyone"
I said that once or twice to my toddlers, they never ever touched them again. We admired them, but that was it

Just urgh, twatty self indulgent parents who should have to pass an exam to procreate. Because they would fail. I mean seriously! Most people take their youngsters to these kind of places but you teach your kids the fucking rules!! Twats!!

I'd have said something too, we need to stand up to these people.

Efferlunt I work for the NT, please feel free, have a go at them

Drives me nuts.
I was out with my kids in Strada a few weeks ago and there was a family behind us with 3 boys, once eldest 2 (approx 5 &2?) had finished they were permitted/ encouraged to walk around the restaurant "meeting people like you usually like to"

Cue a couple of preschoolers wandering round a busy restaurant interrupting diners/ getting in waiters way etc etc

Parents then enjoyed their own meal in peace.

I was both aghast and admiring of the gall of the parents

I hate this. Similar on here recently when a poster was pissed off to be told her DC shouldn't be picking daffodils
I saw a child kill a chick at an open farm. She was constantly told by staff to hold it over the tray but she moved away and flipped it over breaking its neck
Parents said nothing. Not a rough family kids smartly 👗 and mother bodend up

Actually, reminds me at the weekend I bought a TV and had to go round the back of this huge store to collect it. Big box, not heavy, but almost my full arm stretch to carry and there was a dad sat there waiting (for some reason) who was allowing a toddler (I'd guess 3) to run around. While I was at the desk, the dad did say "don't do that" and she stopped but was still standing in the middle of the floor. The sensible thing to do would be to keep the child sat with you, not prat around on your phone. Of course as I was walking out with said TV suddenly tripped over child who had started running around again (I couldn't see her because of the size of the box) and almost sent me, herself and the TV flying. Control your bloody kids!

YANBU. I'm not a child hater - I have three DCs aged between 19 & 5 - and the eldest in particular was a rather "spirited" child. I would never have let any one of them behave like this.

Had they refused to stop trampling the flowers, I would have marched them off home rather than let them continue!

I used to work at a rural history museum and from the office window spotted a small child climbing over the sugar beat machinery (sharp prongs, multiple signs saying 'Don't Climb/Touch', display area clearly separated from the public area). I dashed out and lifted her off, at which point a parent turned up. When I pointed out the signs, he laughed and said "She's not old enough to read". I can't remember whether I said or just thought "then maybe she's not old enough to run around on her own".

Then there were the parents who thought it was perfectly acceptable to lift their little darling the the seat of the reaper and when we protested said "Oh I'm holding them". In this case we were more worried about the rare and fragile 100 year old machine...

It's lazy parenting and that kid will b the one at school who doesn't think the rules apply. Nightmare teenager being mounded.

Yanbu that's just plain rudeness. Ruining things for other people because the child is having fun!

Once my dd was jumping about having fun, aged about 5, and out of nowhere kicked one of those swinging signs shops keep outside. I told her off for it, and not to do it again, it wasn't her property etc, and an old lady told ME off! I was awfully rude apparantly as dd was "just having fun". strange people around sometimes.

Went to pick pumpkins once and a couple of families were there together around 6 children from toddlers to about 7yo, parents were encouraging there kids to through the pumpkins in the air and kick them whilst they took photos. Fucking knobs.

Once the photos were done the kids ran around kick and smashing pumpkins because it was 'such fun!'

Can't stand stuff like this. I have a ten year old who now hisses 'but that's not allowed Mummy'. And I stand there with my mouth zipped.

It's like the kids who behave like arseholes at soft play. I remember when my kids were toddlers, trying to keep them safe from like 5 and 6 year olds who'd come marauding through the toddler bit and knock them over and I'd tell myself "don't condemn them, you don't know what your own kids will be like at that age." But guess what my kids are 5 now and when we go to soft play, or wherever, and there's small kids, they are considerate. Why? Because I spent the last 3 years saying to them "look out for the little kid". They need to be taught to be considerate, they need to hear it 100 times before it becomes habit. Same with flowers, and people's gardens. You bore the crap out of yourself telling them, but if you're consistent, there comes a day where you don't have to check them because they check themselves.

As regards other adults telling children off, I think the situation we have now is that it's so not the done thing that the only adults who'll tell off a child are ones who're either really really angry like that man, or the ones who just don't give a toss about social convention, and they're usually scary arseholes. It really contributes to the feeling of social breakdown.

They shouldn't have allowed the child to do that. Mine wants to touch and pull off leaves and petals of plants (very severe sn and sensory seeking behaviour) but we stick to wild places not formal gardens because I know he won't leave plants alone.

I suspect this type of parents are the ones who park wherever they want at my local retail park - verges, end of rows in non-spaces etc, all making it difficult for those of us who drive around until a proper space becomes available. Unrelated I know, but all the same kind of entitled so and so's.

YY agree about feeling of social breakdown. I was discussing the general flouting of social norms (or what I consider polite social behaviour) and he was pretty down about it, believing that there are 'sheep' and there are 'wolves' who take advantage / push to the front / ignore norms and unfortunately if you are nice in today's society you will get nothing from it. Makes me sad tbh.

Hah missed that I was discussing with my DH. Oops.

Wow!! It's actually happened. I have read a thread and realise that I was actually there at the time. Kew gardens on Saturday (was that the day?) man with camera, getting very cross with children running on the flowers.

But what I saw differs in that the parents apologised and removed the children.

I had the exact same issue at Kew just a few weeks ago. When I pointed out that their little darling was ruining it for everyone else I was met with a lot of eye rolling and muttering of "that mean lady doesn't want you playing". Tossers.

Then there was this www.nottinghampost.com/police-officer-stopped-my-girls-picking-mother-s-day-flowers-at-the-roadside/story-30229177-detail/story.html
Grrrrrrr!

I was bought up with the saying, you look with your eyes not your fingers.

It's the entitled few spoiling it for the masses. Worst thing is they don't even realise it.

Typical entitled middle class parents. It's like no one exists who is worth considering except themselves. And rules are for the little people. Plenty of those types in that area of the world.

I’m allowed to ‘have a word’ rather than tell off, as I work for the NT, though it’s never actually the kids, it’s the parents, every time.

Fortunately, self-indulgent, pfb parents are not the majority but they are out there, like the mother (with the two children under ten, so what example was she setting) who started shouldering, and I mean throwing herself against a Tudor door to open it because she just wanted to see what was on the other side. It was closed and locked and clearly labelled as such because its too old and fragile to open/close on a regular basis. The door just along takes you into same room, but no, while everyone else is happy to stop and admire it, that wasn’t good enough, mother wanted them to experience going through the really old door. Until I reached her, the thuds as she repeatedly threw herself against it, could be heard on the floor above. Why, just why would you do that?? If you turn the handle and it doesn’t open, then leave it*. Who goes to an historic house and thrashes bits of it?

Or the parents of little Benjy, approximately two, going in the wrong direction on the Grand Staircase, straight into a coach party of about thirty pensioners, many of whom really needed to use the banisters, but no, Benjy was ‘exploring’. Pensioners all had to stop, wobble, move, back into one another because Benjy NEEEDED to go past, you see, its part of who he is.

What enrages me though is when you approach the parents and very politely ask them not to do something they invariably reply with an indulgent smile and ‘its fine, its ok’ Errr, no it isn't. Like a pp said, actually I’m more often than not concerned about the welfare/safety of other visitors or the collection than their precious darling but they just don’t/won’t see that. The arrogance is outstanding.

*actually, don’t even turn the handle thank you, if you are meant to go into a room the door will be OPEN, if its closed that is a sign the room is CLOSED.