To think this rules to apply to "our little darling"

[NootNoot]

Hard hat on & fire extinguisher ready

Went to Kew Gardens over the weekend- gorgeous day, place was packed, lots of families. Plenty of youngsters running about, shouting, having a great old time.

Walking past the Orangery there is a lovely display of small blue flowers which have cropped up on the grass- not bluebells but tiny little meadow flower type things. Signs every 5-10m saying "these are part of our meadow collection, please stay off the grass". Small child aged about 3, running up & down through the flowers, stamping on them, picking them etc. Parents looking on indulgently, taking photographs etc.

Middle aged man with a rather fancy camera (looked like a realy Kew enthusiast) lost his shit with the parents- pointed out the child was destroying the flowers, clearly states keep off grass etc etc. Parents just smile benignly & said "oh but she's having so much fun"..

I appreciate toddlers can be tricky/wilful etc but for the love of god that surely isn't an excuse to trash the place? There's tonnes of "plain" grass areas to run about/pick daisies etc. FWIW we crossed paths with them later on & the father was watching the child pulling petals off the magnolia trees!!

I think it's one thing if a toddler gets a bit over enthusiastic exploring and stomps on a flower or two before you can catch up and grab them, it's another thing letting them continue to do it.

Wow. That kid is going to have a terrible time at school if that's how the parents let them carry on! They're doing their child no favours at all, and wilful destruction isn't cute.

Kids don't know any better if they are not taught any better indulging children is really damaging for them, these parents have blinkers on and don't care as long as little johnny is happy and not throwing a strop

Ah welcome to SW London. Home of the Ridiculously Entitled Parent.

I always think of the poster who had a child "expressing herself" with crayons on the wall of their office when I read these threads.

Personally I used to get a bit fed up with seeing Jemimas and Tarquins pissing on the grass rather than going to the toilets at Kew. Although where we live now is 40% dog shit at any one time so I feel quite nostalgic for the overly permissive parents and their feral children :(

Interesting, if the parents don't bother saying anything to their child, why would we bother telling the parent that their child's behaviour isn't correct. They clearly don't know/are clueless/just don't care.

Better to say to the child, kindly/sympathetically.

I had this the other week, boy about 8 bent down next to his ya-yah mother and was about to pull up a bit of the flooring.

I said "hey, don't do that"

Mother continued oblivious, child looked stunned. Clearly wasn't used to being told to stop doing things.

It worked tho, he didn't tear up the flooring.

Yup, my DD (7) was really upset earlier, she had to rescue 2 daffodils that had been picked and flung onto the pavement, she blamed teenagers!

I saw something similar last summer - not at Kew, but gardens local to us.

I politely pointed out the signs that asked visitors to keep off the flowers to the parents.

I was told "oh yes, but we don't believe in boundaries, Rufus* is a free range child".

A "free range child" - I mean FFS!

So many possible witty comebacks to this but at the time I was too gobsmacked to respond!

Anyway one of the people who worked there had seen Rufus's escapades and obviously made clear that being "free range" didn't give you a licence for wanton destruction

• name changed but it was in a similar vein iyswim

No idea what happens with the bold! Sorry

I agree with pp that are these entitled kids actually going to inherit the earth, and my cowed ones going to come last?

My cousins were (posh) nightmares. My aunt let them run wild and they always ate on the hoof, even at other people's houses. My mother sat there with a rictus smile once whilst Hugo smeared a jam sandwich all over the wallpaper and Portia took a bite out of every cake before declaring them all "yuck". Today these cousins are very self-confident and successful. On the other hand, I am meek and would rather die than let my dcs behave badly in public. So Entitleds breed further Entitleds and Meeks breed Meeks.

I know a couple who live in Kew and have a daughter about that age. What did they look like??

Rufus is a free range child

Perfect for an ethical cannibal's dinner?

Errol

Yanbu. It's like all the parents at the park we went to, yesterday, ignoring all the signs and feeding white bread rolls to the ducks.

Free range child - oh bless Rufus. The teachers will love him and his family.

I m currently the evil one according to another free range parent who let her free range offspring tribe (all primary school age) run into our driveway and kick my daffodils until their little heads snapped off. My 11yr old was straight outside to tell them off. Apparently my strict regime will stifle my children. I was very free range with my response back.

Like pp, I also work in the Heritage sector.

…are these entitled kids actually going to inherit the earth, and my cowed ones going to come last?

I think that’s already happening. The twenty somethings we have had visit the site over the last few years or so are something else. Their sense of entitlement is massive. They are often genuinely interested, really want to explore etc. So they do. In and out of clearly closed rooms, being asked not to go up a closed and unsafe staircase and newly planted sections of garden and when challenged are utterly non-plussed as to why they are not allowed or that any of us should pull then up on it. They usually get VERY whiney and then some will get quite hostile though not too often. They generally flounce off in utter disbelief to be heard saying ‘But its not FAIR’. I’m talking about mid and late twenty somethings too. It really does seem then genuinely believe the rules just don’t apply to them.

PickA

Yanbu. It's like all the parents at the park we went to, yesterday, ignoring all the signs and feeding white bread rolls to the ducks.

^
We have the same situation in our local park. There are polite notices asking people not to feed the ducks etc. with white bread and explaining why not. But there are always parents with loaves of white bread encouraging their children to throw whole slices into the lake......

Karma sometimes gets its way though. DH was on a flight the other day, it was delayed due to thunderstorms and the cabin crew gave out sanders and drinks before take off. According to DH a woman a couple of rows in front of him threw half her uneaten sandwich and other rubbish on the floor, expecting the cabin crew to pick it up. When they told her this wasn't acceptable she swore at them and demanded alcohol. She was asked to come to the back of the plane for a "chat" with the purser, who told her that if she didn't start to behave they would put her off the plane.

This apparently then lead to a full blown foot stamping tantrum, more swearing and eventually the woman wasn't just put off the plane, but arrested as well. DH also heard the purser say that she would now be on the BA no fly list. I bet if her parents had said no to her occasionally she wouldn't have found herself in that situation.

MuttleysSnigger I know what you mean, but I don't think it's really a generational thing (I'm only early 30s myself), I think there just always have and always will be rude, entitled people of every generation! You see it a lot in the heritage sector because you tend to get a lot of those types who think that having a museum/NT membership or an Art Pass makes them basically royalty

Once every couple of weeks or so I'll arrive at work around 9am to find the security staff having an argument with someone (usually a well-to-do older lady) who is outraged at not being able to come in. Apparently 'we don't open until 10' isn't a good enough answer! They see all the staff walking in at that time and feel indignant at someone else being 'allowed' to do something that they're not.

Clearly free range parenting, which is only a rehash of can't be arsed parenting.

I'd have said something, rather loudly so everyone could hear but then I can be quite chopsy.

The sheep and wolves does remind me of when we sent out two kids to queue for a ride (off road car ride), this wolf parent obviously thought he could push in front of my two (who were standing nicely waiting their turn), hubby saw him pushing in (we were sat at a distance watching for them), flew over put both of our kids back in their correct queue positions and without saying a word squared up to the other father who immediately became rather timid telling hubby to calm down (hubby not said a word) until then I am calm, very calm they (pointing to our two) are with me. And walked back to our watching spot.

I live in Germany and can honestly say this sort of behaviour doesn't happen here. We were at the zoo on Saturday and all German children were impeccably behaved (my children so so well behaved but certainly not destruction).

I think we're failing as a society and the UK is not going to be a nice place to live in 30 years time when all these little snowflakes become selfish parents themselves.

I feel sad about this

Pancake I did wonder if a child being "free range" was now a new bat shit crazy "thing" - a bit like children being "spirited" completely spoilt or "a kinetic learner" likes to throw things at other children's heads. Does this also encompass wandering into people's homes and gardens?

Also ponders if that means my DS is classed a "battery farmed" because he's been brought up to respect other people's property.

In all honesty, most of the kids I see out and about are behaving appropriately. I think there have always been some overindulged brats ... I remember my schoolteacher DM decades ago dealing with an incidence of theft and being informed by the unabashed parents that the child was merely a 'finders keepers child'.

There's some pretty awful tales here of children AND adults behaving appallingly.

I am rather :-D at "free range" child...

To put a slightly more positive spin on my Kew experience, I did the Tree Top walk- I hate heights but tried to "make myself" do it- realised at the top it was uncomfortably high & a rather small child who was up there with his parents (closely supervising him, Dad had carried him up in the lift) grabbed my hand & started toddling off- using me as his "balance". That's one way to get me round it I guess even if he realised halfway round I wasn't actually his mum!! Not sure who was worse- him wanting his mum or me being reluctant to let go of my 2ft tall safety net lol!

I'd have said something. We take ours to NT properties a lot family membership makes for cheap regular days out with 4 dc. They know to ask if they're allowed on the grass before doing so. But then they're also aware that not everywhere has a playground & even if somewhere does have one they may not get to play in it. An irritational hatred of mine is children who think wherever they go there MUST be a playground or ball pit & that they MUST play in it

School show last week. Not only did parents next to me decide to entertain their noisy toddler with a video on their phone, they refused to turn the sound off (I promise I said please and apologised and everything), spent the rest of the show slagging me off, then gave me a dressing down afterwards for being rude because that's the only way to keep their darling quiet.

Was so stunned I did briefly wonder if I'd missed a memo and this is ok now...