AIBU not to remove shoes in the home

[Illtellyouwhatswhat10]

Generally we don't ask guests to remove their shoes, and my SIL said she doesn't either. We both agreed that when you go to the trouble to put on a nice outfit, it's ruined when you have to take off your footwear. SIL added that as we both have tiled/wooden floors in downstairs room why would you ask guests to, anyway?

And another thing, it's often not nice to be barefoot in someone else's home (at least in your own place you have your own slippers) and I'm aware that some people may feel conscious about smelly feet/odd unsightly feet/verrucas. Even if hosts provide slippers, would you want to wear something that's been worn by someone else?

littlefrog - you may have travelled widely, but evidently not to Japan. There, everyone takes off their shoes and the hostess provides a basket of slippers. It happens in schools, too. In New Zealand, the Maori custom of shoes-off has become the norm - certainly where I live.

Nothing worse than being invited to a house party, getting all glammed up then having to remove your shoes. Feels very unwelcoming. We're shoes off at the door for kids here. Adults get treated with a little more respect. I think I can trust an adult to wipe their feet. I avoid those houses where I know you have to remove shoes. I just make excuses when invited for a coffee. Makes me very uncomfortable and I hate having cold feet. I don't usually have a handbag on me so nowhere to stash socks if I would ever think of such a thing. Which I wouldn't. But I'm not hung up about dirt or germs. We spend a lot of time outdoors. And my kids are very resilient. Possibly if I had more sickly children I might get more worried about germs.

THIS ^ I rarely go to houses of people who demand shoes off either busyboysmum! I have no time for such precious behaviour, from people who are often obnoxious and showy, and who think they're something they're not

pollyglot. Bully for the Japanese. But we're not IN Japan are we?

And out of the many countries I have travelled to, (over 30 in 4 continents,) this 'custom' is not customary!

Alas I'm getting on in years and have lived in London, the West Country, the North West, the North East and the Midlands, so have experience over time and location of visiting people's homes. I have never been asked to remove my shoes. Yes, if shoes are muddy or snowy people take them off; yes, when I am at home I wear slippers or socks; but that's it. There is a strange subset of people on here who have a kind of germ phobia about all sorts of situations. They bleach everywhere; they are constantly washing towels, bed linen, ditching food one day out-of-date. Are they real?

I always remove my shoes in someone else's house unless it's clear everyone is wearing shoes (including the host) but I don't ask people to remove them in mine.

I'm done for tonight anyway. Some of us have work in the morning.

Goodnight.

littlefrog3 Think they're something they not? LOL.

You're get rude attitude and name calling really isn't needed, my dear.

*Your

littlefrog - you are becoming obnoxious. There are evidently some cultures where removing shoes is de rigueur. Maori people certainly do not consider themselves living up steps. I despair of the filthy habits of the British, who wallow in dirty bath water, have carpet around their lavatory, and step in to a living room from the street, shoes laden with who knows what excreta. But hey, if that's what floats your boat.

I despair of the filthy habits of the British, who wallow in dirty bath water'

No need for despair dear. Take some deep breaths and calm down. You poor thing.

Imagine despairing for people who enjoyed taking a bath! I had no idea such a mundane action could cause someone actual despair.

It certainly seems quite an odd reaction. Not quite healthy.

I am wondering whether to get up and inspect my shoes which are - apparently 'laden with excreta'. But I think I might just carry on with my book instead...

When I am in my home or guest house, as I am often in guest houses when I am in Asia, I will sometimes keep mine on . In southeast Asia it is customary for people to take off their shoes when at home, but last year in particular I was staying in a place that was overrun with millipedes and other insects. I am visually impaired and couldn't see the insects until I stepped on them. Often when I visit peoples houses, they tell me I can keep my shoes on. If we are not in a hurry, I will take them off. If we are rushing though it is just easier to keep shoes on.

I have floor rugs in the UK and again, if I am in a rush I will just try and not walk on the floor rugs but keep my shoes on. It's just practicality as cleaning the rugs on my own would be difficult.

Polyglot My best friend is a Maori and she doesn't take off her shoes, so it can't be everyone.

I am a vulgar American of confused class origin. Asking people to remove footwear to preserve carpets seems extremely precious. I can't imagine tradesmen and nurses are pleased to put on shoe covers, unless you live in an operating or high technology clean room. If the plumber wouldn't cover his feet, would you send him away?
Running around in just socks is slippery, and leaves the bottoms of the socks filthy.
I go barefoot in the house all year round, and outdoors in every season in a cold temperate climate.
For the record, I also hate sitting on the floor. It's especially disgusting as circle time at school. It would be far better to furnish stacking light plastic stools. It may be appropriate in other cultures, but not here.

Pollyglot is completely right, in Japan it's shoes off, and in certain hotels you leave your shoes in reception, in Thailand it's shoes off and on one island you had to remove your shoes to even go in the shops and the travel agents. It doesn't bother me, my feet aren't hairy or webbed and it takes a few seconds. I didn't think it was a lot to ask.

Notice that in those cultures traditionally, shoes are basically slippers. Easy to remove. And people use the floor a lot.

I despair of the filthy habits of the British, who wallow in dirty bath water, have carpet around their lavatory, and step in to a living room from the street, shoes laden with who knows what excreta. But hey, if that's what floats your boat

Yes, many British customs are considered very unhygienic in other cultures!
Shoes-off is the norm throughout most of Asia and the Middle East.
My overseas relatives are also repulsed by people washing dishes in a bowl instead of running water. I agree. I hate washing up bowls with bits of soggy food floating. And cups full of soap scum.
Carpet in the bathroom gets mouldy and splashed with wee/sick. Luckily this is outdated now, modern bathrooms have hard floors.
No hose to wash bottom- in all ME countries I've lived in, you wash with running water and soap after a poo. Wetwipes don't cut it once used to a proper wash. Why don't we have hoses here? Bidets take up so much space.
Kitchen and bathroom floors have a drain and are hosed down every day. Much more hygienic than mopping once a week!

So I don't think shoes off is a class thing. It's cultural as well as common sense. With a large proportion of UK having different cultural heritage, I expect the shoes-on culture will eventually be superseded, just as carpeted bathrooms have died out and washing up bowls replaced by dishwashers. We can learn a lot from other cultures.

Lweji I was just going to ask a question related to that.

It was about slip on shoes. Do cultures where shoes off is absolutely the norm always wear slip on shoes? There is a big difference between using each foot to slip the other shoe off, and having to hop round on one foot whilst unlacing 16 hole DMs...

I don't take mine off, but I have had occasions in my home as a kid of standing on drawing pins and one time having a sewing needle get stuck in the side of my foot (don't ask why this stuff was on the floor - we had thick carpets so hard to see). Anyway, now I worry about walking around bare foot in houses.

Interesting that a lot of the houseproud show off people here are also the devotees of fly lady who has a whole page devoted to why you should always get dressed including shoes in the morning and on the benefits of using door mats and teaching your children not to trek mud into the house by using a door mat !

Sorry not sure where show off came from , that was auto correct , I obviously meant SHOE OFF! Sorry

I am a southeast Asian and years ago the first thing that shocked me most was my English friends washed their dishes in soapy water then just hang them up. Before the dish washer time we wash dishes in soapy water then run them through the tap again. To me it wasnt clean enough and good for your health either.
We have a lovely old neighbor couple who are afraid of being on planes who have never been to anywhere oversea even quite wealthy. Years ago when we moved into this house, we invited them for a meal and to my surprise when they were inside my house they pulled out pair of slippers before they stepped in. This small gesture touched us. They have our keys and usually help to feed our fishes when we are away and once we saw their slippers in our home. We never expected them to as they are old, the slippery risk is high, they are very very English in anyway. We usually dont ask my daughter's friends parents who come to pick up their kids from the play date as its too much although builders, plumbers, anyoneone who work in our house has to wear shoes cover, they all have them ready as its now a norm to them.

Treacle not in Japan, the majority were wearing New Balance trainers and brogues!

Do cultures where shoes off is absolutely the norm always wear slip on shoes?

I don't know. :)
The other only culture I can think it (sort of) is in the Middle East. I've been asked to remove shoes and have eaten on the floor. I don't think they traditionally wear lace up shoes. :)

Most people I know are somewhere in between.
Will change to slippers when they get home to stay, but any visitors are not asked to.
At parties most people keep shoes on.
Except for the baby stage people don't sit on the floor or eat or put their hands on it. Floors are usually cleaned and washed. That's Southern Europe.

BusterGonad

Notice I used the word "traditionally". :)