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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you have children, do you have children in your dreams?

31 replies

MrsMogginsMinge · 26/03/2017 23:28

I am idly wondering what is normal (there is no IABN section, so this will have to do).

DS is only now starting to regularly appear in my dreams - and he's 2. And it's normally just a generic anxiety dream where I've forgotten where I put him. It is not a character role. Most of the time, Dream Me is child free, or at least in a child free situation. By contrast, DH features much more frequently and Default Dream Me is generally married to him apart from those weird ones where you're married to a random famous person you don't even fancy.

Does it just take a while for Dream Me to catch up with Real Me? Will I be dreaming of toddler tantrums when DS is at university? Or am I weird and/or in deep denial about my life?

OP posts:

eachtigertires · 26/03/2017 23:43

Maybe. I rarely dream about my DP and we have been together over 3 years now. It's not that I dream I'm single as such, he just isn't there most of the time.

eachtigertires · 26/03/2017 23:44

The "maybe" was in answer to the question about Dream me catching up to real me.

CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon · 26/03/2017 23:46

Very rarely do DH or DC feature in my dreams.

TitaniasCloset · 26/03/2017 23:50

They come up in nightmares. I had this consistant dream about a terrorist attack on London for years and I'm desperately trying to get to my children in the dream. But mainly my dreams are just me.

SerialReJoiner · 26/03/2017 23:53

I don'toften remember my dreams, and when I do, it's usually just me.

steff13 · 27/03/2017 01:04

My dreams are crazy. They rarely feature anyone from my family.

crazywriter · 27/03/2017 01:09

Most dreams are just me. No DH or DC. When they're in it they're usually bad dreams..horrible ones that I'd really rather not have. I've woken in the night and purposely woken DD1 to check on her because of those dreams. Poor thing was very confused and wondered why I was upset and hugging her so tightly...so I love dreaming of just me (maybe random celebrities that I like or being in a TV show that I enjoy)

LoupGarou · 27/03/2017 01:17

Yes DS always features, but he's usually aged up to about 12/13. He's three at the minute. On the other hand, DH almost never features I'm usually a widow

DJBaggySmalls · 27/03/2017 01:26

Wow. Almost never, except in 2 anxiety dreams where I need to get home before dark, or get to school to pick them up.

frenchknitting · 27/03/2017 01:55

Quite often I will start a dream child free, and then half way through, my subconscious will go "shit - where is DS?", and the dream will turn into one about me trying to get back to him.

tldr · 27/03/2017 02:00

Very rarely and only in a nightmare.

Similar thing, 'home' in my dreams is always my childhood home, even though I've had many homes since, two of them long term homes.

Thirdload · 27/03/2017 02:14

I was thinking about this the other day.

DH is often in my dreams but DC aren't, ever.
I occasionally have a stress dream about not looking after a baby properly, forgetting to feed them, baby loses weight, but it's always a tiny baby (and not the children I already have).
It's so weird. I did feel guilty that they aren't in my thoughts but I figure I spend so much time in real life thinking about them that my dream brain wants to switch off from being a mum.

SparkleSunshine201 · 27/03/2017 02:20

My dreams usually feature me, my DH, mum, dad and brother or some combination of them.

HelsinkiLights · 27/03/2017 02:36

MrsMog you are completely normal.
It took a few years for DD to start appearing in my dreams & it was mainly of the where is she/I've lost her dreams.
Now DD appears randomly in dreams as a baby, younger version, same age, older version. (She's 10 btw).
She mainly appears in happy/good dreams but occasionally in scary dreams where I have to save her or she saves me.
One of the most recent dreams I had with DD in it was when DD was my mum & I was her daughter. However DD was 8 in the dream & I was my age!
We went to a dinosaur zoo, theme park & ended up in the 70/80s kids TV programme Jamie & the Magic Torch. I have no idea what this dream means.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 27/03/2017 02:41

Sometimes I have kids, sometimes not. Sometimes they are actually my kids but sometimes not. DH is there every once in a while but not necessarily in the starring role of DH.

Dreams are very weird.

elliejjtiny · 27/03/2017 02:50

Sometimes I have my dc and sometimes not. I have a recurring dream about being at school and forgetting which lesson I'm supposed to be going to.

I once had a really weird dream, kind of a parallel universe thing where I knew DH but we'd never started going out. We'd conceived DS3 in a drunken one night stand but our other dc didn't exist. DH was one of those celebrities who are famous for being on reality tv and sleeping with other famous people. It was really weird.

MuffinMaiden · 27/03/2017 02:51

In my dreams I'm usually by myself and my DP has taken DC out. I think it's my subconscious way of not suddenly panicking about where DC is, combined with a desire that DP would do a little more of the childcare!

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 27/03/2017 07:43

I think there's a lag. DS is 2.5 and is only just there properly sometimes in the last few months (as in not in the 'oh god I've forgotten/ lost him' way). I've been with DH for four years and I think he started appearing about 2 years in.

On the other hand my parents, who divorced 9 years ago, are usually together in dreams, and my lovely Grandad who died 10 years ago often features. So I'm not sure what that says about how my subconscious has not processed those two events!

Redyellowpinkblue · 27/03/2017 07:53

I think I've only ever dreamt about DD once in three years we've had her. DH appears more often. None of my extended family ever appear. Mostly my dreams are about my business and people connected to work and my ex boyfriend who seems to pop up at am alarming rate!

CaptainWarbeck · 27/03/2017 07:58

I'm the same as you. DH crops up in my dreams quite often (been together ten years). DS is 2 and I don't think he's often there... maybe dream me hasn't caught up that I have him yet.

Saying that, like pp I had a lot of anxiety 'omg the baby's gone!' dreams when he was a tiny newborn and I was freaking out in my head that DH had sat on him or some such nonsense

BellaGoth · 27/03/2017 08:00

I have a 4YO and a 7MO.

I don't sleep enough to dream!

FourForYouGlenCoco · 27/03/2017 08:22

I often have dc in dreams, but they're not always my actual dc and they sometimes have a different dad than their actual one
I also get the thing someone mentioned where I'm on my own and then suddenly remember them and wonder where they are, and it turns into a panic dream of trying to find them.
And sometimes even when they don't crop up at all, I go through the whole dream with that niggling feeling that I've forgotten something or someone, and I can't quite put my finger on it. I have this feeling 99% of my waking life as well, so it seems very unfair to be subjected to it all night too

Original poster

MrsMogginsMinge · 27/03/2017 08:40

Yes, Frenchknitting and Fourforyou - this is how DC enter my dreams now. I'll be busy doing something by myself and then it's SHIT! I have a kid! I left him on the tram!

Still not as common as having to resit my A Levels or being at court and not having read the papers, though.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsMogginsMinge · 27/03/2017 08:41

Or trying to catch a train/plane and not being able to find the platform/gate. God I'm boring. I'm glad I'm quite normal though

OP posts:

BarbarianMum · 27/03/2017 08:48

Yes, but only one at a time if it's a bad dream (about a volcanic explosion or terrorist incident or something). It's as though my subconscious knows I couldn't cope with the dream stress of dragging more than one child to safety. Nice dreams and they are both there.

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