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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Any mothers days present is a privilege not a right

89 replies

cheesyinkent · 26/03/2017 14:05

So several unhappy MD threads today, shock horror. Any thread on inheritance always goes on about its not a right. Can't the same apply to mothers day?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 26/03/2017 14:09

I think it's sad. It just seems to be an echo of all other dates where feeling unappreciated is highlighted for one day. The rest of the time is what matters more.

Achoopichu · 26/03/2017 14:09

Don't think that's the point. As a mum you do lots of running round for 364 days s year it would be nice if someone appreciated it, and showed that they did. As mine haven't today I feel quite fed up!

Bloomed · 26/03/2017 14:12

Agree that it is as though one day has to make up for the rest of the year/feeling unappreciated. No wonder so many feel deflated. Hope it helps everyone to regain a bit of balance during the year.

Achoopichu · 26/03/2017 14:14

I've been reading threads about lots of nice ways people are marking the occasion, but if we did anything I'd have to organise it, like I organise Xmas and birthdays and Easter and everything else. So I can't be bothered and am still in bed. I'm being a martyr obviously but I don't care. Lost my mum recently too.so I should be checking on dad to make sure he's ok. I'm going to wallow a bit longer tho, not that anyone will notice

Plunkette · 26/03/2017 14:21

I think that it only takes a very small amount of effort to say "I love you Mum, thanks for all you do" on any day of the year, and that given the huge commercialisation of Mothering Sunday there is no excuse for forgetting to say it today.

I don't think presents are important but how hard is it to make breakfast in bed, or spend time with your Mum on this emotive day?

It's not much to expect really.

My DH and my DC never forget and I feel desperately sorry for those Mums who are feeling unappreciated today. Flowers

CremeEggThief · 26/03/2017 14:25

YABU. Most of us spend our lives running around after and dedicating our lives to our kids. The least they can do is show a bit of thought and respect for us on Mother's Day and our birthdays. My 14 year old DS has really let me down on my birthday and Mother's Day this year.SadAngry

Northernlurker · 26/03/2017 14:31

I agree op. As I've just said on another thread, I didn't have kids to get a prize once a year.

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2017 14:35

I'm actually appalled at some of the threads. This is my first Mother's Day on mumsnet and I did not know people behaved like this.

My gift isn't good enough, I want a present, my card is not good enough, my husband didn't do enough, it seems endless.

I thought it was all about the thought that counts. Clearly not for some.

It's very sad indeed.

CancellyMcChequeface · 26/03/2017 14:36

YANBU. You're right about the inheritance threads, and threads about DC not appreciating presents usually result in them being called grabby and entitled (not by everyone, but the majority). Usual etiquette is that you pretend to like the card/present even if you think it's rubbish or not what you wanted, isn't it?

Between the poster disappointed in gold instead of silver jewellery, and the one posting a picture of a home-made card for others to comment on, I do think there's a weird attitude to it. Feeling a bit disappointed, fine. Crying or sulking, very immature.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 26/03/2017 14:40

Bluntness, get used to it. It's similar on Christmas too.

I very much feel like my kids appreciate me all through the year. I don't need to be told it on a specific Sunday just because society says so.

But there are always people that feel it is their right to be centre of attention for a day.

FourToTheFloor · 26/03/2017 14:42

One thread I read the OP said she wasn't very good at this mothering thing but felt disappointed in her dd's. OK Hmm

I shouldn't come on here on Mothers day because those threads really piss me off.

WorraLiberty · 26/03/2017 14:43

Bluntness, it's the same every.single.year without fail.

I can understand some people feeling upset if the day hasn't even been acknowledged, with a hug or a 'Happy Mother's Day'.

But the 'I don't like my present' threads and the 'Mother's Day tat' threads make me sick.

If my kids were that ungrateful I'd tell them about themselves. I can't believe some adults act that way.

WorraLiberty · 26/03/2017 14:44

Actually, even worse are the threads where women get the arse because their DHs actually want to spend time with their actual Mothers on Mother's Day Confused

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2017 14:48

It's just horrible isn't it?. I also get it if your kids don't remember, but to complain that they did but they didn't get you enough or their effort wasn't good enough for you? Shock

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/03/2017 14:49

I fucking hate Mother's Day on here. In fact, last year I think I started a thread in attempt for people to put all their bitching and whinging in one place, instead of the endless threads.

danTDM · 26/03/2017 14:53

To be shocked the DH didn't get them flowers but had the cheek to get his actual DM flowers. Hmm

CoolJazz · 26/03/2017 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 26/03/2017 14:59

My mum always tells me not to bother, I tell my girls not to bother. DD1 got me wine and flowers, absolutely beautiful but she got told off, I HATE her spending her money on me. DD2 text me 'Happy Mothers day bumhole, love you'
BUT we appreciate each other all year round. I guess some aren't as lucky and would like a little nod of appreciation just once a year!

BusterGonad · 26/03/2017 15:02

It's totally not about the present but about being thought about, a offer of a cup of tea? Maybe accompanied by your favorite biscuits. It's not the present or the money but the little things. I'd rather have a packet of my favorite biscuits costing £1 than a £50 box of chocolates I've never shown a preference for!

TheFairyCaravan · 26/03/2017 15:02

Mothers Day is always awful on here. Some women act like spoilt brats. It's bloody ridiculous.

picklemepopcorn · 26/03/2017 15:08

If you are lucky enough to feel confident and appreciated all year round, that is great. Some poor mums feel really weary and hoped for a day when they would be made to feel special.

Sadly, the day reflects the family and relationship I think.

RedMetamorphosis · 26/03/2017 15:11

The only people I am feeling sorry for today are ones like my friend, who would do anything to be a mother, but have lost multiple babies and spent a fortune on IVF.

I'm sure she would love the opportunity to moan about her child forgetting to buy a present or buying the wrong one. Not sure if she is a MNetter but if so, she and probably many, many other women suffering from infertility will be avoiding MNet today.

Flumpernickel · 26/03/2017 15:11

YABU Biscuit

Flumpernickel · 26/03/2017 15:15

I think you are missing the point with some posts, its not all about presents, it is about wanting those who you would cheerfully die for, just giving you a hug and making the effort to be with you for the day without being asked.
Although I do tend to agree that moaning that a specific gift isnt good enough is a tad much.

Absintheshots · 26/03/2017 15:18

It's ridiculous, so many childish women who expect their family to be mind-readers. If you have been happy all their childhood with a shop-bought card, why being suddenly annoyed when they don't do more once they are grown up?
If you want to make a big deal out of it, start a tradition: go away for the weekend, always go in your favourite restaurant, that sort of thing.
Some women are ridiculously hard work.
I think it's ridiculous to expect husbands to have to deal with their own mothers and their wife, but if you expect him to do something, tell him! It's not that difficult.

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