AIBU to continue having children? Despite knowing they all would have a life limiting condition.

[stripedeyesdown]

I have named changed as i am probably going to get flamed for this.

I am a member of a Facebook group, i have just seen a post & a child of a member of this group has recently died.

It was noted on the message that this is their 3rd child, who has died from the same genetic life limiting condition.

They knowlingly went ahead with the following 2 pregnancies, knowing the children would be severely disabled with little quality of life.

AIBU to think that they have been selfish for a number of reasons, to continue having children knowing that each child would be born with this life limiting condition?

I can't see what that could possibly have to do with you.

I am not sure it is selfish, as it will cause them a lot of pain, too.

A bad decision, sure, but people do make bad decisions about having children all the time. Nothing to be done about it.

Agree with Spartacus

None of anyone else's business

I am pro choice, and that means I am pro whichever choice, as long as the woman made it freely.

stay out of it

You have no idea when they found out - or if the chances were limited - maybe they were really unlucky

Anyone with a child born fine - could still either have an accident or catch a disease or find out a genetic condition -

It's their child and a great loss to them and their family - calling it irresponsible isn't going to help anyone - leave the group

What Spartacus said.

Surely there's no guarantee that each child would have the same illness?

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP.

Life is not of less value, just because it is shorter.

None of your business.

It's just terribly sad, for parents and children, and I don't think the word 'selfish' is helpful in these kinds of situations. They may have been driven by grief. Their loss is unimaginable.

I've reported it. Hardly in the spirit of MN, is it?

Are you saying that the couple enter each pregnancy knowing that there is 100% guarantee of the baby having this condition? Or has there been a chance each time (however slim) that the baby would be healthy?

I'm not sure it's the decision I'd make but then again, I don't know the exact situation so it is pretty hard to judge them too harshly.

Did they really know or was there just a chance? And anyway, why is the life of a child with a life-limiting condition of any less value? I have friends whose eldest child died due to Muscular Dystrophy. They had another 3 children who were fine (one of whom tragically died in an accident). Then had twins who it transpired also had MD. They are now both in wheelchairs and I can't imagine the pain they must feel knowing they will outlive two more of their children.

None of your business.

If they went ahead, knowing for absolute sure that the baby would have this illness then yes I agree it is selfish.

The group I am a member of is a travel group, so unrelated to the life limiting condition.

The father has posted daily updates since the child has passed & goes into great detail of their genetic conditions, hence the reason I know that they knew all pregnancies would be affected as the mother is the carrier.

I just understand why you would put yourself through it 3 times, knowing the outcome & seeing how hard all their lives have been.

Nice thread, OP

it sounds very sad and in the interest of self preservation I would step away from the group and go outside in the fresh air.

What a coward you are to NC, OP.