Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is child abuse

190 replies

Shelvesoutofbooks · 22/03/2017 16:42

Warning as this is controversial.
Someone who I know (will try to keep it vague so I wouldn't out myself) has a child who recently ended up in a&e for passing out. This is the 4th time this happened in last 2 weeks but the child has had a fever so has been brought in to a&e. Said child is 3year old and weighs 8.5 kilo and is strictly fed an organic vegan diet. Child attends nursery 5 mornings a week for 3 hrs a day and has lunch there. A vegetarian nursery that has been given the instructions not to give the DC any dairy.

The DC is happy to eat meat and other animal products as when I saw the child at gatherings/parties it has eaten anything with the child's mother not saying anything. But still 98% of the time the child has an extremely healthy diet. (I am very certain of this as)

When the child was brought to a&e and the doctor questioned why the DC was underweight so much the mother simply claimed the child was a fussy eater and refuses to eat. When asked what kind of diet the child has she said everything and that the child is an omnivore.

Now, this was a lie. I was gobsmacked when I heard her say it but didn't want to ask why she was lying.

So far they diagnosed the child with anemia and the child is undergoing dozens of other test to find out "why it refuses to eat". When given some food in the hospital by nurser child happily ate anything it was given.

Ainu to think it's basically child abuse? The poor child is anemic and is passing out because it's not fed properly. I wanted to tell the doctor the mother was lying but my DH said it'd be best to leave it.

I've tried talking to her before how she should be forcing a vegan diet on a child that small but her response was that "meat eaters force their kids to eat meat and other unhealthy stuff, so she can make her kids eat vegan food if she wants to".

OP posts:
ClemDanfango · 22/03/2017 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 22/03/2017 20:37

8.5 kg is 18.5 lbs. There's no way medics wouldn't have flagged that up as a major issue without underlying medical conditions. I have a very petite 3 yo DD and she weighs 26 lbs

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 22/03/2017 20:37

Sorry 29 lbs

bevelino · 22/03/2017 20:39

OP are you one of the parents of the child as your story sounds like you might be?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 22/03/2017 20:47

This is either the Dad, or someone from the DM

JaneEyre70 · 22/03/2017 20:49

A good friend of mine has got an eating disorder - she is horribly underweight, her skin and hair looks awful, she walks around 10 miles a day and is scarily obsessive about her diet. This obsessive nature got transferred onto her dog. She started feeding it a vegan diet like herself, and this dog went from healthy to starved in weeks due to the amount of exercise it was getting. In the end, the dog collapsed and had to be rushed to the vets, where it found to be dangerously close to death. It recovered that time, but collapsed and died 2 years later, I don't think it ever properly got its full health back and was still very young.

I know it's a different story, but the outcome could be the same OP. The issue is the fact she's lying to Doctors about it. In my book, that is abuse. A vegan diet isn't an issue if it is a balanced vegan diet, especially for a young growing child. I'm vegetarian and am very passionate about it, but I fed my kids meat when they were growing as it is their right to choose their diet, not mine.

DistanceCall · 22/03/2017 20:50

Yes, it's abuse.

Oblomov17 · 22/03/2017 20:50

I'm not sure about thus one. Is that TW mother lying. Is giving your child a vegan diet so wrong? My kids eat everything, but .... 'abuse because denying them nutrients'? Hmm
Muncausens? That's quite a serious accusation.

DistanceCall · 22/03/2017 20:51

And yes, you need to tell. A child is being abused.

CPParenttoDD1234 · 22/03/2017 20:53

OP I don't often write on posts but read them regularly. This has really worried me.

As a children's nurse and a safeguarding nurse i can not say hard enough that this child needs to be admitted to hospital and social services need to be informed. I looked after a child that could have died and the story sounds exactly the same. I can't divulge anymore but it's child abuse in so many ways

Physical emotional and neglect. You don't want to be the one that knew and said nothing. This child has no voice of their own you have to advocate for him/her.

Sara107 · 22/03/2017 20:53

Of course it's possible to be healthy on a vegan diet, but you need to be careful to eat a variety of things to get all the nutrients. Sometimes people mistake what would be a healthy diet for an adult as a healthy diet for a child. So lots of veg, fruit, wholegrains, pulses, nuts - great for an adult, but probably not enough calories for a small child. And filling them up with lots of fibre rich food means their little tummies are full before they have had enough nutrition. Whoever the op is in relation to the child, they need to make sure that the nature of the diet is made known to the hospital staff.

Original poster
Shelvesoutofbooks · 22/03/2017 20:56

Ok few things to clear up

No this is not a topical thread, whatever that's supposed to mean

Who said the child ate burgers? By animal products/meat I mean the child would have a ham sandwich, hot dog max. Gatherings/parties aren't exactly every day, maybe once every few months so you can't really say the child is an omnivore if you feed it a ham sandwich 3/4 times a year.

The child in question is tiny and many people have noticed and commented, yet no one is doing anything about it

Which brings me here and why I'm gonna report this tomorrow to the doctor (yes said child is still in hospital)

The mother in question is a part of a very tight knit group that I am also a part of, there were 2 other people there when the doctor told us. Said passing out happened when we were all there so we all ended up coming.

Keep your troll hunting to a minimum, I'm genuinely worried about this child's life.

And when I say healthy diet I think it's healthy for an adult (with supplements) but definitely not for a child.

Example of child's daily meals
Breakfast - chia seeds in water with banana
Snack - apple
Lunch (if at home) - rice with cucumber, celery and peas
Snack- plain biscuits/ nuts
Dinner - bread with jam or hummus, salad and tofu/vegan cheese

If this seems enough for a 3 year old child, have my apologies for the thread

OP posts:
lyricaldancer · 22/03/2017 20:58

Piglet, I agree. Though not about the vegans themselves Grin

I can't believe some people are simply not reading the OP properly or rest of the thread. Child is an omnivore, not a vegan OP also says child's diet is extremely healthy 98% of the time, OP worried about the 2%.

Where are you, OP? Didn't think this through properly did you... Wink

honeysucklejasmine · 22/03/2017 21:02

I am glad you are resolved to tell the doctor. You are probably able to phone the ward this evening if you're worried about getting it done.

Please, do put this child first. Thank you for being concerned about them.

booox · 22/03/2017 21:03

I challenge the fact that a vegan diet is healthy for children, unless also taking a multivitamin.

For example, iodine, necessary for thyroid function, is only from certain fish and dairy. Seaweed would provide too much. Breastmilk would provide but mother would have to have a decent supply herself.

Vegetarian, ok, but not vegan.

lyricaldancer · 22/03/2017 21:04

Yes, veganism is topical today. Number of threads on Mumsnet today.

And here comes the predictable drip feed. Hmm Not clearing anything up.

booox · 22/03/2017 21:07

And a side effect of iodine deficiency is stunted growth (cretinism).

NotMyPenguin · 22/03/2017 21:08

"I fed my kids meat when they were growing as it is their right to choose their diet, not mine." Er, how is this not choosing their diet?!

Sorry, I digress.

It's quite possible for a vegan child to be healthy. It's also quite possible for an omnivorous child to be malnourished. Veganism is not unhealthy for children so long as they are fed a balanced diet and given enough food.

Clearly something else is going on here.

Given the extraordinarily low weight you describe, along with anaemia diagnosed in hospital and the issue with passing out, I am sure that professionals will be picking up on it and monitoring the child's weight closely.

NotMyPenguin · 22/03/2017 21:10

VIOLET, the NHS recommends that all children under 5 are given vitamin supplements every day in any case.

booox · 22/03/2017 21:14

Very few contain iodine.

Beachedwh4le · 22/03/2017 21:17

Unless you're with the child 24/7 you have no idea what they eat, or how fussy they are

Beachedwh4le · 22/03/2017 21:18

Did you ask mum why she classes her child as a meat eater and not a vegan?

booox · 22/03/2017 21:18

The NHS recommend A, C and D.

As iodine mustn't be overdosed it tends to be roughly a half rda in children's vitamins, if there at all.

This isn't just an issue for children; anyone, especially expectant and bf mothers should be on a vitamin pill including iodine for thyroid health.

CPParenttoDD1234 · 22/03/2017 21:20

OP you are correct he is a vegan as that's what diet the parents are giving him.

That's not enough for a child 3.

booox · 22/03/2017 21:21

Sorry, area close to my heart and one of these researchers is a relative.

Note, due to milk consumption.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5009164/

Swipe left for the next trending thread