To think this is child abuse

[Shelvesoutofbooks]

Warning as this is controversial.
Someone who I know (will try to keep it vague so I wouldn't out myself) has a child who recently ended up in a&e for passing out. This is the 4th time this happened in last 2 weeks but the child has had a fever so has been brought in to a&e. Said child is 3year old and weighs 8.5 kilo and is strictly fed an organic vegan diet. Child attends nursery 5 mornings a week for 3 hrs a day and has lunch there. A vegetarian nursery that has been given the instructions not to give the DC any dairy.

The DC is happy to eat meat and other animal products as when I saw the child at gatherings/parties it has eaten anything with the child's mother not saying anything. But still 98% of the time the child has an extremely healthy diet. (I am very certain of this as)

When the child was brought to a&e and the doctor questioned why the DC was underweight so much the mother simply claimed the child was a fussy eater and refuses to eat. When asked what kind of diet the child has she said everything and that the child is an omnivore.

Now, this was a lie. I was gobsmacked when I heard her say it but didn't want to ask why she was lying.

So far they diagnosed the child with anemia and the child is undergoing dozens of other test to find out "why it refuses to eat". When given some food in the hospital by nurser child happily ate anything it was given.

Ainu to think it's basically child abuse? The poor child is anemic and is passing out because it's not fed properly. I wanted to tell the doctor the mother was lying but my DH said it'd be best to leave it.

I've tried talking to her before how she should be forcing a vegan diet on a child that small but her response was that "meat eaters force their kids to eat meat and other unhealthy stuff, so she can make her kids eat vegan food if she wants to".

The veganism isn't a red herring.

It's a highly restrictive diet for a three year old child who hasn't made that choice for themselves.

You are raising a moral issue, but that is not what this thread is about. It's about a small child apparently being insufficiency fed and lying to health care professionals when the child becomes ill.

the parent lying

Your DH is wrong and your relationship with the mother is irrelevant, your duty is to the child. You have knowledge of a safeguarding issue - speak up and tell somebody. You could ring child services.

I agree with pp. If mum is lying to a HCP about the diet, then she clearly realises that the diet could be, or definitely is, the reason.

If that's the case, she is deliberately causing her daughter to be ill.

Raise a safeguarding children alert. Your LA website will have the details. It is abuse, as she'd rather her child be put through numerous investigations than tell the truth. In reality, the child just needs a nutritious, balanced diet.

Many Indian Hindu kids grow up healthily on a vegan diet without dairy and eggs etc. But yes they do need supplementation. So as long as the mum then gives the child the vitamins they need and doesnt block it I'd say give her the benefit of the doubt.

Tell the doctor. Tell everyone that is involved. Do not be frightened because someone is a vegan or religious or transgender or any other right-on buzzword du jour. A 'healthy' diet is a matter of opinion, even in the medical profession. What is clear is that the child does not have an appropriate diet and the parent is culpable, and lying about it. The truth needs to come out so that things can change, so that matters can be remedied, so that the parent can be educated if that is the problem.

I am amazed by MN sometimes. I have seen posters urged to speak to SS because they know a child who has dirty clothes and other trivial reasons. It doesn't matter whether veganism is wrong or right for small children. That is not the issue here.

A vegan diet is NOT healthy for a young child despite what you may hear from the likes of the Vegan Soc and fanatical vegans. I say this from experience of my teenaged daughter going vegan for a couple of weeks and having to go back to vegetarian diet due to lack of nutrition. I appreciate that you are in a delicate situation but this is bonkers ideology over a child's wellbeing. Please do contact the GP and Social Services so that both bases are covered (medical and welfare).

The veganism isn't a red herring.

It's a highly restrictive diet for a three year old child who hasn't made that choice for themselves.

Three year olds don't make dietary choices for themselves. My toddler has a plant based diet due to severe animal protein/egg allergies. She's a typical picky eater but is thriving, following her curve and meeting milestones very early. Very restricted diet, but I make sure she gets enough nutrients.

Sounds like the child in question may have an underlying health issue or the parents aren't feeding the right foods. Blaming veganism is pointless. Omnivores don't always feed their children sufficient nutrients...but you don't hear about their "insufficient omnivorous diet"...

I agree that veganism is a red herring. This is about a child who may be unwell due to a diet which insufficient and not meeting their nutritional needs. These concerns need to be passed on to the relevant professionals.

But Astoria, that's fine if she'd been honest, told the doctors the child was on a vegan diet, accepted necessary supplements and advice - job done.

But this child is massively underweight, no doubt malnourished, yet the parent has lied and said that they eat a omnivorous diet. The doctors now have to perform numerous investigations as they will suspect that this child is very unwell, or has some sort of condition. They will be searching for a reason/cause that doesn't exist, and the child may have to have unpleasant, invasive procedure's. TBH, it's almost sounding like it's bordering on Munchausen by proxy.

Can't state my relationship with the person as it's too revealing.

What a load of crap. Either this is completely made up or you weren't there and have made up the details, because there's no way it's "too revealing" to give your relationship when you've said you were in the room with the mum and doctor. Who did she have there, the Spartan 300?

If the child is still in the hospital then contact there now, if not then contact SS.

I say this from experience of my teenaged daughter going vegan for a couple of weeks and having to go back to vegetarian diet due to lack of nutrition.

What on earth was she eating?

My ds is vegan and a healthy weight with. I problems. It's perfectly doable and totally fine to bring a child up vegan... if you know what you are doing!

There should be no need to lie

The parent is lying. Isn't it a safeguarding issue? I would definitely tell the hospital. Now.

You have to say something. The child is at risk, as is evidenced by the lying.

As people have said, its fine to have a vegan diet, but it does not look like this mother is feeding her child properly, I would have said something the HP.

Daniel Pelka, just remember that wee boy, failed by too many. Do not give the mother the benefit of the doubt, she lied about her child, report her

Deffinitly tell them the truth! Report to SS.
It doesn't matter what your friend believes, she clearly isn't right as her child has now landed in hospital!

A vegan diet is perfectly healthy for small children.

This is only true when the parent knows what they are doing.

Yes this can be seen as neglect is there anybody you can talk to officially about this doesn't matter if it is a vegan diet or not you are concerned about a childs welfare.

The fact she is lying, signals many red flags, please report to social services.

The Veganism is a red herring. Surely every family "forces" their views on their children, what they wear, what church is attended blah blah blah. Why is it that veganism is "forcing their views on children?" which is shown with distain. There are unhealthy children fed crisps and junk food and never have a vegetable (and can't even recognise) a vegetable. Is that not forcing their views on their children? Jews/Muslims not eating pork - is that not forcing your views?

A child can be raised as a healthy vegan ... fruits, veg, nuts, seeds, legumes - nothing unhealthy there. You don't need to supplement if you have the right foods. There are generations of vegans/vegetarians out there. Lots of "normal" people take supplements.

Lying and caring more about an "ism" rather than the childs health is the issue. You can be a junk food vegan and just eat crisps, biscuits (ginger nuts, oreos etc) and skittles and be vegan. Not caring that your child is underweight and thinking that the food is not the issue is a problem. A child being hungry is the problem.