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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: gut instinct

132 replies

ShakyMilk · 21/03/2017 20:08

Thinking about what advice I would give my younger self and one of them would be: go with your gut.
Have you ever been really glad you trusted your gut instinct? AIBU to ask you to tell me about it?

OP posts:
hickorydickorynurseryrhyme · 21/03/2017 20:17

I am a believer in following your gut but it's not always easy is it? What made you post?

Trifleorbust · 21/03/2017 20:19

I hate people going on about their gut instinct. It always seems to have a strange correlation with their prejudices. Black man walking behind you? Gasp! Probably a mugger! Are you a racist? Of course not - you just felt it in your gut. Hmm

sparklefarts · 21/03/2017 20:19

Gut instinct when I saw my ex husband for the first time was 'what a Fucking creepy weirdo' should have listened to that one!! Grin

IHeartKingThistle · 21/03/2017 20:22

God no, my gut instinct is often way off beam. Luckily I know it's a wanker and I ignore it most of the time.

ShakyMilk · 21/03/2017 20:29

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme not sure really. I think, if anything, I ignored mine for a lot of the time, but I have girls now and I want them not to do that, to instead listen to the little voice that's saying hmmm, not sure about this

OP posts:
Bananamama1213 · 21/03/2017 20:36

I always trust my gut.

Usually about people cheating!

joystir59 · 21/03/2017 20:50

Little voice always right imo

sum1killthepawpatrollers · 21/03/2017 20:54

theres been a few times i certainly wish i had, but then again if i had i wouldnt have my ds, i wouldnt have met my few amazing friends (met through a person i thought was a real mate, turned out she was a back stabbing cunt)
i will be forever greatful for 1 time i did though, even if it did nearly split dh and i up and have since resisted the urge to say told you that he was a perv

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme · 21/03/2017 21:30

OP I'm the same

WombOfOnesOwn · 21/03/2017 21:39

Once upon a time, I was an underage runaway survival prostitute.

A prospective client emailed me. We discussed rates and acts briefly. He agreed to meet me at a particular time.

As soon as the conversation stopped, I got a sinking feeling. I'd had a fair number of clients before, and felt fairly "empowered" (gag!) in my work because I was making good money and my clients had been kind and respectful, at least to my face. This anxious feeling had never shown up before a "date." Never.

I cancelled -- no, actually, I stood him up.

And he emailed to say "Hey, I guess I missed you. Maybe you were freaked out. That's totally fine, but I'd really love to get together if you're still interested."

Somehow, the way he was kind about it made me let down my guard -- I'd been prepared for anger and vitriol.

We arranged another time to meet. This time, I showed up.

He took me back to his place. He raped me in every orifice, at knifepoint. I spent the next six hours convinced I was going to die in his apartment. When I left, it was with a brand-new case of PTSD and a sense of shame that would take years to go away.

I trust my instincts, now.

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme · 21/03/2017 21:43

Womb you poor thing, how horrible.

VestalVirgin · 21/03/2017 21:56

Womb, that's horrible. :(
I'd have had the same reaction to him being nice about it. Frightening to think that there's rapists out there who have such a perfect strategy to trap their victims. Makes one wonder how many women he did this to.

I was molested at a job interview I went to despite a bad gut feeling. Decided to always listen to my gut now, but it is hard when there's no way to explain the gut feeling.

VestalVirgin · 21/03/2017 21:59

I hate people going on about their gut instinct

And I hate people who have no empathy for women.

You knew there would be people on this thread who had been sexually assaulted or raped by men they decided to trust against their gut feeling, and still you chose to complain.

Disgusting.

putdownyourphone · 21/03/2017 22:07

My ex worked with a girl who I had a bad feeling about - she had done nothing wrong but something intuitive made me not trust her. One morning I woke up early, took my ex-DPs phone and went through his texts from her - nothing. Just as I put the phone back next to the bed it went off several times - text after text of her declaring her love for him and asking him to leave me. It was so weird, I'd never looked through his phone before but my gut instinct told me to do it there and then.

putdownyourphone · 21/03/2017 22:08

And so sorry womb.

ShakyMilk · 21/03/2017 22:15

Oh, Womb I am so sorry. You are very brave to tell your story.

I think, particularly when you are young, it's easy not to trust your own instincts, because you are young, unsure, inexperienced etc. I really want to instil in my girls that those feelings are there for a reason, and one day might save your life but also don't want to freak them the fuck out!

OP posts:
Meekonsandwich · 21/03/2017 22:37

I've read somewhere that apparently you are more likely to be happy with a snap decision you made than if you took Time to think about it. So yes go with your gut!

Trifleorbust · 22/03/2017 07:53

VestalVirgin:

Huh? So I should not express my opinion (which I did without reference to or in response to anything about sexual assault) just in case people have experienced something terrible that gives them a different opinion?

Never heard so much shite. You appear to have compartmentalisation issues.

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2017 07:55

I would say "Your guts are for digesting food and they are very good at it. But if you want any thinking done, your brain is the organ to go for"

Trifleorbust · 22/03/2017 07:55

That is a horrible, sad story, Womb. Obviously you should follow your instinct in a situation as risky as that one. I hope you are safe now.

Trifleorbust · 22/03/2017 07:56

BertrandRussell:

^^

ZogsAnon · 22/03/2017 07:59

Womb, so sorryFlowers.
Hope you don't mind but I've reported this thread to have a trigger warning.

Whatthefudger · 22/03/2017 08:09

Womb. I'm so sorry Flowers

mrsheathy85 · 22/03/2017 08:12

I always try and trust my gut but I have BPD so it's hard to trust it 😣. I'm working on it but it's hard!

TheFirstMrsDV · 22/03/2017 08:29

vestal that was out of order.
Trifle's post was before Wombs.
I agree with Trifle on 'gut instinct' on MN. Its used in the most inappropriate ways, often to justify prejudice against non-MN type parents and YES to the racist element.

Its 'gut instinct' to grab your purse when my son walks past is it? Hmm

womb I am sorry you went through that. Just awful Flowers