AIBU: gut instinct

[ShakyMilk]

Thinking about what advice I would give my younger self and one of them would be: go with your gut.
Have you ever been really glad you trusted your gut instinct? AIBU to ask you to tell me about it?

TheFirstMrsDV:

Thanks.

Fucking hell Womb. How terrifying and awful for you. I'm so sorry that happened.

I don't know about gut instinct but I've certainly had mother's instinct. I didn't really believe in it with my first DC as I never had cause to feel it. However DC2 had a fever at 8mo, vomited once, and I instantly knew something was wrong. I didn't know what but I knew he needed help. He had bacterial meningitis.

Heart then head for me. Listen to the gut then examine what it's telling you and try to check your prejudices at the door. (I realise that sounds like virtue signalling, sorry.)

I was brought up in an all-white tiny village in Scotland. When I moved to London age 17 my gut needed re-calibrating, for exactly the reasons Mrs DV and Trifle mention. Anything 'new' can set our gut instincts off, and that's not always helpful or fair. But you can retrain it.

Womb

Absolutely.
There is a very strong brain gut connection and there is the theory of the second brain.

When our body is trying to tell us something we should listen.

"There is a very strong brain gut connection and there is the theory of the second brain"

No there isn't.

vestal that was out of order.Trifle's post was before Wombs.

This is not the first such thread, it was predictable that such stories would come up. I also think I remember Trifle from other threads, where they also told women to forget about our safety and merrily walk into known, scientifically proven danger.
I might be misremembering, but I am pretty sure I am not, unless there is an user of very similar name.

I can only speak for myself and say that based on my own experiences I now always acknowledge my gut feelings. That isn't to say I run screaming from any room that has a "vibe" I just keep my wits about me more when I have that uneasy feeling.

womb that's horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. The monster who did that to you should be castrated and force fed his own genitals.

I haven't always been in tune with my own intuition. It's always been there, but, stupidly ignored it and suffered greatly because of it. I learnt the hard way. Could I go back and have a chat with my 17 YO self, I'd do so without a second thought. But, I don't think I would have listened :(

Vestal maybe Trifle doesn't share your gift of precognisence?

There are lots of threads on MN demonstrating gut instinct is often wrong. The recent one about the chap being interviewed by the BBC and his kids interrupting had loads of people going on about the 'look of anger' in his eyes and the 'terrified nanny' (actually his wife who just had an 'oh shiiiiiiittttt' look on her face) and how he must be an abusive bully.

Bert HCP here, there is.

VestalVirgin:

Right, so you saw someone you thought you could pick on and projected a load of stuff onto my post, then responded with aggression? There are words for such behaviour.

Whether or not I would advise someone to trust their gut instinct, would depend entirely on the person themself.

I only feel like this due to Mumsnet and all the threads I've seen over the years, where people being told to 'trust their gut', have often been (imo) a complete dramallama whose instinct I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw.

If you knew someone who over reacted to almost everything, would you still tell them to trust their gut or to sit down, take a breath and have a good logical think?

And Vestal that was bang out of order towards Trifle

WorraLiberty

Always gut first then brain
I think your brain is picking up tiny signals that are given off from people or situations.

You might not see or acknowledge them but some part of your brain is adding everything together and warming you the only way it knows how.

Ha! Gut instinct usually feels right, but I also have BPD. I envy the people who can trust their gut, I definetely used to be able to and I think it's very real

'Gut' is just a term for the way in which your brain picks up subtle signals that you can't consciously name or pinpoint. I think it's always worth listening to - especially for women. Women are so strongly taught to be polite and not make a fuss that often they'll dampen down their immediate reaction that someone/something is not quite right. If something feels dangerous or wrong chances are it is.

Oh, I believe there is a role for instinct. Communication is so much more than what is said. I think when we term something 'gut instinct', it is when we are picking up on unspoken cues.
In social work we are taught to take notice of instinct. Without it, a lot is missed. When you see people interacting together, there is a lot more going on than simply what is said.

My gut is sometimes right. It was right about both ex-boyfriends.

I really overthink things and it is often wrong, though.

I recommend reading "the gift of fear", which is very good about when to trust your gut and when not to.

It specifically mentions the whole walking down a street example.

I agree with Mrs DV, its often used to justify having a totally unreasonable impression of someone or a situation. It makes me cringe when I see it on threads where someone sees a kid without a coat on for example and asks if they should call SS and its all "oooh trust your gut hun, its a piece of the puzzle" crap.

Its not gut instinct, or a sixth sense, or anything else 'woo', its just a feeling of uneasiness that may or may not be justified and its a coincidence when it is.

I think if you are assessing your safety then you need to trust your gut. But, if you are assessing complicated long term decisions, like which job to pick, which house to buy, whether to save or spend, then you need to trust your head and here the role of the gut is over-rated.

If I always trusted my gut I'd never go to the doctors, the dentist or eat anything other than cake.

Indeed Gah, or often it's because someone else is parenting/doing something differently.

a feeling of uneasiness I thought that was "gut instinct", something your brain has picked up on subconsciously.

💐 For you Womb.