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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU: gut instinct

132 replies

ShakyMilk · 21/03/2017 20:08

Thinking about what advice I would give my younger self and one of them would be: go with your gut.
Have you ever been really glad you trusted your gut instinct? AIBU to ask you to tell me about it?

OP posts:
sobeyondthehills · 22/03/2017 10:20

There is a woman I see everyday on the school run, I know nothing about her, but I have for some reason taken an instant dislike to her.

Never spoken to her, I don't think I have even exchanged a look with her. Its weird, as I have never had this before. Nothing I can really do, its not like I can go up to her and say , is there a reason for some reason my already fucked up brain has decided it doesn't like you?

But it would be interesting if there was.

However I think my gut instinct if I have one, is shit.

Alyosha · 22/03/2017 10:21

You're gut is great for situations where women have been socialised to be polite to their own detriment.

I.e. if someone asks you to help, or offers to show you something unprompted, or offers to help you carry your shopping. Many women would feel rude saying no, even if their gut is screaming "danger, danger".

But it is too often used to justify racist/classist assumptions.

I think the gut feeling is useful but only when you know when to listen to it and when not to! It's best when assessing your own circumstances.

WorraLiberty · 22/03/2017 10:21

Some people are far too prejudiced to be able to trust their gut instincts imo.

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2017 11:27

"You're gut is great for situations where women have been socialised to be polite to their own detriment"

Nope. That's one for the brain as well.............

Skatingonthinice16 · 22/03/2017 11:40

I can't trust mine anymore although it used to be right.
Now it just jumps to worst case scenario all the time and if I listen to it I just sit in the house crying all the time. I get a 'gut feeling' that ds will have died whilst at school, or that dh will be in a plane crash or that we shouldn't go in the car because there will be an accident. So far it's been wrong every time thank god.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 22/03/2017 12:15

I think what we call gut instinct is your brain picking up on little clues without you really thinking about it. For example you might know your boyfriend is cheating on you because of his scent and the way his hair is, but you haven't consciously put those things together.

I do agree with PPs saying prejudice is often plays a part in gut instinct, making us think unfairly of others. Not just obvious prejudice like racism, but also small personal prejudices, like maybe some woman you barely know but hated on sight just happens to look a bit like your school bully.

I think if your gut instinct is telling you you're unsafe it might be wrong, but you should still use your brain and not take any risks and avoid potentially dangerous situations.

If you're using your gut instinct as an instant excuse to ostracise a school parent or colleague or anyone who's not done anything wrong then you're just being mean.

kimann · 22/03/2017 12:28

Womb - thats such an awful awful thing to happen. I hope you're better now and i hope the guy rots away in jail or is dead.

Trifleorbust · 22/03/2017 12:31

My boss used to call this 'thin slicing'. The principle is fine: of course our brains assimilate information faster than our conscious minds can weigh it up, and the result is 'instinct'. Unfortunately, my boss was in a position where he go to decide whether to put other people forward for jobs (MD of a recruitment company) and his 'instinct' was (like everyone's can be) extremely fallible. I prefer to operate on the facts.

ImsorryTommy · 22/03/2017 12:44

People always remember the time they had a gut instinct that was proved correct.

They don't usually remember all the other dozens of times they were wrong because it's not significant enough to remember.

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2017 12:57

It's exactly the same as the "thinking about someone and the phone rings and it's them" thing. Or hearing a new word, then hearing it again in the next hour. It's called confirmation bias.

alltouchedout · 22/03/2017 13:02

Bertrand, I think most people are very aware that what they are talking about originates in the brain and not the literal gut...

ImFuckingSpartacus · 22/03/2017 13:03

Gut instinct is just another form of thinking. We take in much more information than we properly process, but its all still there, some going in more than others. It's not a mysterious thing, its perfectly scientific.
And the thing is, its the same as a persons normal thinking, but less conscious. If you are an intelligent, rational person, your "gut instinct" will likely be fairly sensible and reliable. If you are a light thinker, or someone who over reacts a lot, or believes nonsense easily etc, your "gut" will do much the same.

So yeah, trust that instinct. But be rational and sensible about it.

ImsorryTommy · 22/03/2017 13:06

YY Bertrand.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 22/03/2017 13:06

I followed my gut instinct about something this week. Time will tell. I hope I made the right choice.

Oscha · 22/03/2017 13:08

My DD, who is 5, has been telling me since she was tiny that sometimes her tummy tells her things. I think it's fascinating! As far as I know no one has ever told her about the concept of gut instinct-she seems to just know it in her body.

hellsbellsmelons · 22/03/2017 13:26

I always trust my gut.
It's not been wrong.
ExH - I just knew!!
Recent Ex, my stomach was churning like a mad thing and I just knew something was up.
It happened when in the presence of OW and I knew it was her.
I really did.
I was absolutely right.
Staying single for a while now.
My gut knows what it knows and I damn well listen to it!

Yika · 22/03/2017 13:39

I definitely trust my gut instinct eg in situations of potential danger. It might be right, it might be wrong, but often it's all we have to go on.

Sunnysky2016 · 22/03/2017 13:44

Years ago I hadn't seen my grandmother who was 88 for a few weeks, mum popped in every day and uncle lived with her. One morning I had this gut instinct that I had to go down- I found her collapsed on the bathroom floor and she passed away a few weeks later having not come back out of hospital.

Frouby · 22/03/2017 13:55

I always trust my first intincts or first impressions of people and situations. I am lucky that I am pretty intuitive of people.

I have always been right. Everyone I have thought was a cunt or untrustworthy proved to be a cunt or untrustworthy. I just need dp to listen to my gut now.

The times I haven't, or dp hasn't have gone wrong somewhere along the line. I cant think of a time I was wrong.

It has also been right about other things too. A health condition for my dsis. One about my niece. I am hoping it's wrong about my nieces partner. Everyone else loves him. I think there is something fundamentally flawed with him. I dislike him intensely. It's almost a physical reaction when I see or hear him.

My best friend who I have known 20 years calls it my spidey senses.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 22/03/2017 14:01

Everyone I have thought was a cunt or untrustworthy proved to be a cunt or untrustworthy.

But how do you know these people aren't behaving badly to you just because they can tell you don't like them?

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2017 14:03

That really is utter bollocks, you know.........

ImFuckingSpartacus · 22/03/2017 14:27

Yep, utter bollocks. And really arrogant, imagining you know more than everyone else.

People are cunty to you because you've decided they are a cunt, so you treat them like one.
It's nothing but confirmation bias and the pygmalion effect.

Stormwhale · 22/03/2017 14:31

Not quite what you are looking for, but I don't agree. I made a big mistake that negatively shaped my life because of my gut instinct. When I first met my now dp, we were 16, at college and he was smitten with me. My gut said we weren't right for each other, and I was drawn to someone else. I ended it with him and went on to be beaten black and blue by the other man, then spiralled into depression, drink and drugs, and had some extremely traumatic experiences. We met again years later and it was clear we should have been together all along. If I had just stayed with him, I never would have ended up the damaged human being I am. I wish upon wish that I had stayed with him and ignored my gut.

Oliversmumsarmy · 22/03/2017 14:40

Has anyone had that creepy feeling up the neck (heckles rising) when someone walks in the room even though you haven't set eyes on them as you had your back to the door

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2017 14:42

"Has anyone had that creepy feeling up the neck (heckles rising) when someone walks in the room even though you haven't set eyes on them as you had your back to the door"

Nope. And neither has anyone else. Some people, however, have a finely tuned retrospectoscope.

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