Who is in the wrong?

[lucee12]

Who is in the wrong?
My grandad is very ill, he has cancer and is now in a hospice with not long left to live. My cousin has asked him if she could have some of his ashes to have made into a necklace, my grandad said yes and wrote it down on paper "x is to have some of my ashes for a necklace". I've told him that I wouldn't like him split up, and to reconsider so I think he is. I also think she is selfish to even ask him. But now I'm getting called selfish for getting him to reconsider.

Massively unreasonable.

His choice- your cousin's grandad too. Just lost my mum; frankly, this kind of stuff is just going to break your heart unnecessarily and waste precious time.
Please find a way to let it go.

If you scatter ashes then by its nature you are split up and spread into the wind.

If you can, I think it would be kind to say to your Grandad that none of this matters. You're sorry that you put him in a difficult position. You'll remember him always, regardless.

Just concentrate on being with him and making what time has left as peaceful as possible.

YABU. It's his choice with what he wants to do.

His ashes, his choice. Without being crude, it isn't like there won't be any left after your cousin has taken some out for her keepsake

Wow...

What do you mean you don't want him split up?

Have you ever scattered ashes? Or are you hoping he will be sitting in an urn on your mantelpiece?

I hope this is a reverse, because if not you should be ashamed of yourself. And go apologise immediately to both of them.

Yabvu, what a mean thing to do.

Are you 12????

YABVU. His ashes, his choice.

Sorry, YABVU.

YABU, not your decision to make. Stop arguing over your grandad who isn't even dead yet!

YABU. What on earth did you think you were doing going to your dying granddad and arguing the toss with him over his permission for a relative to do something with some of his ashes for God's sake? Leave him alone and stop arguing about you and others want to do with his dead body. This is the most fucking outrageous thing I've ever read on here, you really should be ashamed of yourself OP.

I think the necklace is a lovely idea.

You need to apologise

Bloody hell! Apologise immediately for putting him in a difficult position.
Tell him you weren't thinking straight and promise him that you will do your best to support your family members during the coming weeks.
You will regret this massively in years to come (when you've finally grown up) if you don't put this right.

I really don't understand why you've said this to him. I bet he won't want to upset either of you and won't have a clue what to do now. I think you should say sorry to him and your cousin. What about other family members too? I know it's not their choice either but surely you can't just expect it to revolve around you and what you would like?

I think the necklace was a lovely idea and don't know why you can't see that you're being unreasonable.

What a silly thing to do OP!

Now your poor Granddad knows that whatever he says someone will be upset!

Go and apologise and say you don't mind either way.

Shocking behaviour OP. Your cousin felt they wanted to keep a bit of their GF when he passes, they did the right thing and asked his permission which he willingly gave. Now you are playing your face up about it for god knows what reason and have dragged your GF into the disagreement. He's not even dead and you are causing an argument about what will happen to his body.

Shame on you OP.

Please apologise and don't let your grandfather die thinking you and your cousin are arguing over him.

Oh dear

Reverse? No-one could honestly believe it is okay to ask someone else to reconsider their plans for disposing of their own dead body.

YABU.