Sruggling to get on board with sons girlfriend, who is a millionarre!

[Huskylover1]

Actually, her family are multi millionaires. 8 homes across the globe in places like Paris, Milan, New York, Los Angeles....you get the drift. They've been together 11 months. I've met her twice. She is very aloof. I remember meeting my DH parents and trying my hardest to impress. She doesn't do this. They came for one night a few months ago to dog sit for us, but left the place looking like an episode from Hoarders. Food and drink left everywhere, nothing cleanedup. I tried to forget it. took them out for lunch...they never bought one drink and we had lunch and 5 rounds after....where do i go from here...its his bday dinner Weds and im gonna get stiffed again

To be honest I'm curious as to why your husband or son didn't offer to move either when you sat on the floor. If we have guests over and I sit on the floor as too many, my husband is the first to jump up and say here take my seat. My daughter slower but she still does it.

It's also a bit off to say "your going to get stiffed" over your sons birthday dinner. It would be expected of you to pay on this occasion, but if uou resent paying for his girlfriend then do not invite her to the meal and explain to your son why. You cannot expect her to pay for his birthday dinner.

I think you need to get past the fact her parents are wealthy and you should not expect so much more of her than you do your own son and husband.. If they are serious about one another at some point you will need to meet the parents, and you need to be able to relate to them as people not be blindsided by their financial status, as I think you are by her and what may be causing her to not engage fully.

Re the cleaning up.

They both ordered the take away, the both ate it and they both chose to leave it for the op to clean up.

I couldn't have done that at 20 or even at 18 or younger.

It's all very well saying he should have cleaned it up but i would have put a rocket up my boyfriends arse myself and said we cant leave this for your parents.

They both sound as bad mannered as eaxh other as I said.

Oh and as the OP had been funding them for meals out and wine and rounds of drinks....me assisting with cleaning up after myself would be the bare minimum i could do for my host when they had been kind and generous.

To be honest I'm curious as to why your husband or son didn't offer to move either when you sat on the floor.

Am I the only one curious about the lack of a second armchair? They don't sound the most considerate young people but I'm not sure what her parents wealth has to do with it.

lizzyj lol... no I am not disappointed when people are self centred; I expect most people to be self centred most of the time, and am very grateful when they aren't.

Niki I don't disagree. But poor manners on behalf of my son and his girlfriend wouldn't drive me to start an MN thread criticising solely the girlfriend nor would I attribute the bad behaviour to her parents' money.

Her parents have 8 homes across the globe? damn! she definitely should've paid for everything .

I don't know why you are surprised at your son's rudeness. His father (?) your Dh sat on the armchair and let you sit on the floor. Some example to set.

I'm perplexed why your anger is focussed on the girlfriend? She's not there to bank roll your son! Nor indeed are her parents!
She was a guest of you and your son at this meal so I wouldn't have expected her to pay. Why did you go out for an expensive meal and drinks if you cannot afford it?

when I was dating and "met the parents" I took my other half's lead, so if he wasn't suggesting chipping in then I would have assumed the family custom was that the parents paid. I wouldn't have thought the state of my bank balance was relevant.

(One of my best friends is eye poppingly wealthy, but if I suggest going out it will be to a local cafe - so I can afford it and can treat them. )

(Agree they were both out of order for not tidying up at yours; but your son more so as, again, she was the guest so he should have taken the lead)

Mirena

Her parents may have 8 homes but we don't know how much personal income or access to her parents money that she has. My parents were wealthy but I had to get weekend jobs from 14. I was given less pocket money, allowances and clothes than most of my friends. My parents would have laughed if I asked for a couple of hundred to spend on a meal at 20!

Huldra Does that really sound like I meant it? even with the emoticon

Did to me oh well I misread it.