My brother and his wife had a baby a few days ago. It's my parents' first grandchild, my first time as an Auntie. First chance I've had to get to see my new nephew was today so I got the train up (live 200 or so miles away)
My mum and I do not get on, I tend to keep my distance, so I wasn't really thrilled to see her car parked outside their house when I got there. In fact my brother's wife's parents were there aswell, as were her siblings, and my stepdad, it was an unofficial wet-the-baby's head thing that I had known nothing about. Anyway I was really excited to meet my new nephew- my brother's was holding him and he was awake so she asked me if I'd like a cuddle. As she went to pass him to me my mum says in front of everybody 'oh for God's sake be careful, don't know if this is a good idea, you've always been cack-handed (??) and clumsy, don't drop him!!' Then proceeded to make comments such as 'Does it feel weird to you holding a little baby, you probably don't feel anything do you, never expressed any interest in babies have you' and when he made a tiny grizzle said 'oh you better give him back, he's probably sensed you don't like babies!'.
I sort of laughed it off. Really awkwardly. But she wouldn't stop. i'd bought him a little baby romper suit thing but got that wrong aswell because I'd bought the 3-6 months and not the 0-3 (didn't I know he was a newborn??) when my brother asked if I'd like to hold him again she piped up that I was probably only just 'recovering' from having to hold an actual live baby the first time.
She always makes me feel like shit anyway and I can't do anything right 
I ended up leaving early and drinking a couple of gin and tonic at the station and mooching about as I had an advance ticket that I couldn't use for a couple of hours. My mum said I was 'stropping' off as I couldn't take a joke. Wanted a nice pic of me holding the baby but I just look awkward and nervous.
FWIW I do like babies. DP and I have discussed having our own in the next couple of years. He knows what my mum is like and tried to persuade me not to go up there without him for support but he was working today and I got too excited and I thought my mum would be nice for once since it was a happy event. Stupid of me. I should have stood up for myself and I'm kicking myself now but I didn't want to cause a scene. She has MAJOR form for making me feel like shit but can't she just leave me be just once? Unless I can see my brother and his wife and the baby away from her I don't think I'll bother going up there for a while.
Thinking about it she's probably driving them nuts to by being 'on hand'. She only lives down the road and doesn't work so is apparently there every single day.
AIBU?
To think no, I wasn't in a strop, I was just sick of being insulted.
HarrietKettleWasHere · 19/03/2017 18:18
I took tofeeboffins post as in I'd be crazy not to live 200 miles away 
I don't have many dealings with my mum at all, because she is horrible! But somehow manages to paint me as a stroppy sulky teenager (I am not, I am 31!)
I Think toffee's irony was lost on many of us!
Invite your SIL to yours with the baby for a few days.
That'' really piss your mum off! Take loads of pics of you looking elated and holding the child lovingly , in the clothes you bought!
What a nasty woman 
I don't understand people like that.
Fwiw a romper in 3-6 is absolutely perfect- the weather can be so changeable over the summer and I found rompers to be so useful.
If you get on well with DB and SIL then try to ensure a good relationship with them independent of your mother
Your mother is a twat. Seriously.
I'd NC that. No one needs that in their life. She's trying to make you feel worthless to make herself feel better.
You're better than that. 
Bless you OP
It's horrible when parents make you feel like a child all over again.
Agree with PPs - find a time all of your own to visit without the pressure. You'll be a lovely auntie!
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Firstly I too would have bought a 3-6 month piece - new parents are invariably inundated with teeny things that, especially if it's a big baby may not ever get worn or will be too small in a matter of a few weeks.
Secondly, and please excuse the amateur psychology, you seem to have fallen into a pattern of behaviour with your Mum of 'provocation and response' where she says something ridiculous you say, effectively, 'that's ridiculous' she says 'I was joking, can't you take a joke etc. etc.' You then risk looking like the bad guy and you feel upset and angry. From now on try a technique called 'let the ball drop' - it means, basically, that whatever is 'thrown at you' by your Mum (or anyone else) imagine the remark as a big beach ball.... and just let the 'remark/ball' 'drop' between you to the floor - in other words don't take on what your Mum has said, just let it 'flop' - give her a slight or 
if you like but nothing more - your Mum ceases to get any reaction from you, you aren't taking on the hurt of the remarks and there's no chance of you being seen as 'overreacting' to a 'joke' - try it, I hope it helps.
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