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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Put it up out of reach"

279 replies

GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:20

My 3yo toddler is into everything and it's driving me up the wall!

I have to check my bag 5 times before we leave the flat as she has form for taking stuff out - my keys, my wallet etc. She gets into my makeup and ruins it, gets it on the furniture. finds pens and draws on walls, pulls clothing out of cupboards and drawers, breaks things in the kitchen.

We rent so I can't make too many amendments to the place. We do have two high shelves but they are literally the only place I can put things that she can't get to! She climbs onto the kitchen counters, uses chairs to reach onto the dining table - nowhere is safe any more Sad

Even the bathroom cabinet is accessible to her by standing on the loo.

AIBU to wonder where all these "up out of the reach of toddlers" places are? Does anyone else struggle with this?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 17/03/2017 08:22

Can you not use baby gates to keep her contained to certain areas?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 17/03/2017 08:26

She is 3 years old she is old enough to be told not to touch certain things and not to take things out of your bag. Obviously proper dangerous stuff such as medicines should be out of reach or in a locked container if this isnt possible but as gor just taking things out of your bag just tell her not to and if she does apply whatever discipline you use. She isnt an 18 month old toddler she is a pre schooler and old enough to follow instructions.

toomuchtooold · 17/03/2017 08:28

In our house it used to be that all the shelves below about 1m were empty. It looked as though it had been flooded Grin I find 3- and 4 year olds are worse, as well - they have the ability to plan and execute a series of steps to get what they want, while still having the same lack of regard for their safety as they did at 2.

Can you put locks on some of the lower cupboards?
All our breakable and dangerous stuff is currently piled up on the top of a 4x4 Ikea Kallax shelf, like Buckeroo but with Calpol and glasses. I wouldn't recommend it Grin

LilacSpatula · 17/03/2017 08:33

Get loads of those sticky hooks and get everything out of the way. If she can't reach it she can't ruin it. Bag? Up! Makeup? Up? Tops of wardrobes? Hangers on door frames? Up, up, up!

Original poster
GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:33

"as for just taking things out of your bag just tell her not to"

I can't imagine punishing her for being curious. It's annoying, but she wouldn't understand it. I don't use punishments, I don't even know where I would start.

OP posts:
LakeOfDreams · 17/03/2017 08:33

Are there specific things she is trying to get? My toddler is only 17 months she's always taking our cards out of our wallets so we got a cheap wallet and keep all our old cards and she plays with that instead.

LilacSpatula · 17/03/2017 08:34

Or glue jar lids to the bottom of your shelves to keep little things away. Just screw the hats onto the lid under the shelf.

LilacSpatula · 17/03/2017 08:34

Hats?! lol! Jars

Original poster
GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:34

Sirzy like where? We have an open plan living room/kitchen, and I want her to have access to her room.

Maybe a baby gate to our room - but she can climb out of her cot, couldn't she climb over a baby gate? We've never had one.

OP posts:
MadameJosephine · 17/03/2017 08:35

I think at 3 it's more of an issue with discipline that putting things out of reach. She's not really a toddler anymore and you should be able to teach her not to touch.

Original poster
GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:36

LilacSpatula I think this is what we have to do... I'm short myself so I struggle putting things really high, that I need access to. But hooks could help.

We only have three doors in the whole place :( and my partner can be a real pain in the butt about stuff looking ugly. That's a problem, isn't it? He needs to fall in and make our lives easier

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 17/03/2017 08:36

I don't use punishments i think that is your main problem. Children need to learn that they sometimes can't do things and if they do something that they have been told not to then there are consequences. She is 3 years old not 3 months, she should understand no.

paxillin · 17/03/2017 08:37

You don't need to "punish". Consequences are enough. Saying "no" in a cross tone usually goes a long way. When were you thinking of introducing rules, at 10? A three year old can understand simple rules like that.

Seeline · 17/03/2017 08:38

You may not like punishing - your decision, but you have got to get her to understand 'no'.
It is a safety issue as much as anything else.

Put things in lockable containers if you really can't get them out of reach.

traviata · 17/03/2017 08:39

LOL at "just tell her not to". If only.

What about those racks of hooks which go over the top of a door? you could hang your bag up, and put other things in bags. With determination she'd get there, but it might slow her down.

Wheelerdeeler · 17/03/2017 08:39

Ffs teach your 3 year old right from wrong.

What's going to happen when she goes to play school???

QueenofallIsee · 17/03/2017 08:40

I think a 3 year old is old enough to understand 'No' and when she is doing something she shouldn't be. I don't think that you can blame your partner entirely for it re the door situation. That said, I would go with stair gates for bathrooms etc and move your make up etc into there if you need to.

She knows what is in your handbag now, its not curiosity - she wants to play with things. Tell her No

Original poster
GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:41

"I find 3- and 4 year olds are worse, as well - they have the ability to plan and execute a series of steps to get what they want, while still having the same lack of regard for their safety as they did at 2."

toomuch exactly! She actually just shy of 3 but it's been like this for ages and I keep waiting for it to get better and it's just endless :( Nice to know I'm not alone.

Lake her attention span is still very short. She gets bored of things really easily. It's just that the things she knows she's not supposed to play with, she is most interested in. It's so tiring, I'm sick of having to shadow her.

OP posts:
Original poster
GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:43

"You don't need to "punish". Consequences are enough. Saying "no" in a cross tone usually goes a long way. When were you thinking of introducing rules, at 10? A three year old can understand simple rules like that."

paxillin Oh I definitely say no! She honestly doesn't care! She just carries on as if I hadn't said a thing. I sometimes end up talking louder and louder as it's like talking to a brick wall, then I shout, which I don't want to do.

I clearly need to work on this though, as my approach isn't working

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 17/03/2017 08:44

I can't imagine punishing her for being curious. It's annoying, but she wouldn't understand it. I don't use punishments, I don't even know where I would start.

And there lies your problem.

Graphista · 17/03/2017 08:44

Do you mean you don't discipline at all?

They understand 'no' from around 18 months and even before that they respond to body language and tone of voice.

You may need to repeat and remove but you have to discipline.

AccioWine · 17/03/2017 08:44

I think there's a difference between punishment and discipline. To me, it's not punishing to say "no" to a 3 year old, just setting boundaries.

And definitely try high hooks!Smile

Original poster
GoingQuietlyInsane · 17/03/2017 08:45

"Put things in lockable containers if you really can't get them out of reach."

Seeline is this a realistic option? Is it affordable? I have lots of things I don't want her to get to! If I put my makeup in a lockable box, for example, she would find it, shake it, destroy the contents and scream because she can't open it.

She is not a monster, truly, but I'm struggling to know how to introduce consequences because, in this scenario, the only one who loses out is me! (and my makeup)

OP posts:
paxillin · 17/03/2017 08:45

Well you will have at least another 4 years of it unless you introduce rules and consequences. Get a large, lockable cupboard for all the stuff?

Soubriquet · 17/03/2017 08:46

You need to punish her!

Curious is all good and well but like they say curiosity killed the cat

She needs to know, no means no.

Very irresponsible of you

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