School over riding dc's wishes so they can use me as a taxi service

[SquidgeyMidgey]

DD was chosen for a long-running after school activity off-site at another school. She really enjoys it and looks forward to it. Next week, on the same day, there is a one-off activity an hour in the other direction which she has also been chosen for. I sent back the letter for the second activity saying DD wouldn't be going as she chose option 1, which she did.

Tonight at pick up her class teacher came over and told me the school had called the first activity and agreed it would be ok for her to kiss it next week so she could do activity 2. I replied thanks, but she wants to do activity not activity 2. Teacher replies but that means the rest can't go as they won't have a lift (assuming I would cart the lot of them over to wherever activity 2 is). Other parents I was standing with were at the brass neck of the school to arrange for DD to go to activity 2 when I'd said she wanted to do activity 1. I'm not being U to not lift the lot over when it's not what she wants am I?

Nope stick to activity one. I am shocked the school just assumed you would drive them all. Or that other parents would be ok with that

Of course you are not

Your dd wants to do activity 1. It's a prior commitment too. You are not a taxi service.

Miss it not kiss it, though the end result is the same

What a bloody cheek!

Thanks, I've written great detail on the reissued consent form, and told DD if they pressure her tomorrow I'll go nuclear mum on them so she's feeling happier.

That teacher has some brass neck

cheeky feckers! YANBU at all!

How is that even allowed? We need special insurance and permission from the department to be allowed to take students in our cars. We can't stop parents making private arrangements, but the school would never get involved in that in any way.

Why did they think you'd take them? Do you often drive school kids about?

!! They are really not kind to do this. Stick to your ground and what you did wants to do.

I assume you are not in the UK? Or is this a private school with some sort of tacit agreement in place?

Organising a school trip is a minefield - you would need to be DBS checked, permission slips, insurance, Risk Assessment for starters.

That does not sound right.

Really? I gave a few kids a loft to a sports event as my dad was going. Me and a ta shared it between us. Nobody asked me to sign anything. I'm already dbs checked.

Oh jesus christ, shall I try that again? Lift and dd. My dad wasn't there.

Yep, start muttering about safeguarding.

It is not ok for the school to arrange lifts with a parent.

If a bunch of parents agree between themselves that one of them will ferry the kids about, that is ok.

If parents organise lifts between themselves, then no particular admin is needed.

If the school assigns a pupil to a vehicle (even if it's the very same parent who gives lifts in other circs) then they need to satisfy themselves that the vehicle is roadworthy and insured, that the driver is licenced and competent, and that the safeguarding arrangements are adequate.

On the main question, I think you should stick with what your DD wants to do.

One one previous (recent) occasion they know I have carted a car full elsewhere. On the QT always in privately arranged liftshares, aren't we all?

It transpires three other parents were individually told the same and their DDs want to stick to activity 1. There is the potential of a trophy from activity 2 and I think the school has tunnel vision.

It's a UK state primary. They know I am DBS clear as I'm a teacher (part time) in another local school.

I have reined myself in and politely emailed the Head to ask they call activity 1 and fix this. DH is apoplectic and talking about a complaint to the governors.

Just to add, when I took the bunch recently it was arranged among parents, not by the school.

Doesn't matter if you have a dbs elsewhere (i have 4), they have to do it themselves.

I'd ask them not to put you in the position of having to refuse to transport kids on behalf of the school. Especially as you are a teacher and need to adhere to safeguarding rules, and would need to report breeches such as the school sending children off with a non dbs checked adult, in a vehicle they have not checked is in roadworthy condition.

Nobody asked to see if my car was in roadworthy condition either. I expect they assumed it was though seeing as it's fairly new and I regularly take the dds to school in it. Although given that an Mot is no legal guarantee of a roadworthy vehicle I'd be amazed if a teacher could tell.

They tried to pull the same stunt on three other parents as well?! Wow, that's some brass balls right there. If the activity was so important to the school, they can organise the transport themselves - and I don't mean via transcripting parents to do it!

Are any students actually going that you know of?

this is bloody outragous. I'm with your DH!

I think it's car insurance also.
I couldn't take my students in my car on trips as I wasn't insured for it.

I wouldn't be pleased about that at all.

I'd be pointedly asking them to explain the comment about the other children's transport and asking exactly why that is either your problem or your responsibility.