To visit an adult baby nursery

[FlappinSwazy]

AIBUE to visit an adult baby nursery to attempt to heal from some very early years childhood sexual abuse.

I have found one, and been offered a place to go visit, which does not provide any sexual / kink / fetish element (nothing wrong with that just not what I am looking for) alongside the adult "babying". It is run by a psychotherapist and appears to be run with clean, honest boundaries to transform early years traumatic memories.

I am so fed up of being unwell. I am pretty desperate and will literally try anything right now. I feel like I am falling apart and other services are not working, or terminating early, or not suitable.

While I can hugely empathise with your desire to improve your mental health, I think this would only serve to damage it. I have real concerns about the ethics of the therapist and also, the research behind it.

On a positive note, you sound very aware of your needs and you come across as intuitive and intelligent. Sometimes it isn't one thing that helps but a variety and it's very much trial and error. Meditation and yoga and ohming didn't do it for me. Body relaxation apps and gentle exercise made a huge difference. I found an app that has a 3 minute mindfulness exercise which is basically a gentle voiced woman encouraging you to relax. When I started, I could listen to about 20 seconds. Some months later, I can manage nearly the whole thing.

I wish I could tell you that there was a quick fix. I don't know your financial situation but I don't always think it's the type of therapy but the type of therapist. You need the right person for you.

Best of luck and please keep safe.

I haven't read tft, as I need to get to bed, but have you tried hypnotherapy? As a hypnotherapist I can tell you that regression therapy in cases like yours can really help. You are regressed back to when it happened over and over again, until your subconscious becomes 'desensitised' to it. It will always still be there, obviously, but it loses it's power over you, if you see what I mean.

When you see your GP, please tell them all about the adult baby nursery as an option you have considered / are considering. This may then emphasise to the GP just how desperate/vulnerable/impressionable you really are and therefore how important it is that you get some proper help.

I mean no offence to you with this suggestion OP and I have read the whole thread. Do you have much RL support or network of reliable family or friends who are there for you? Even as a sounding board for wacky ideas such as this incredibly dodgy sounding adult baby nursery?

Anna Forrest is a yoga teacher whose area of interest is abuse and trauma healing. Her book is called Fierce Medicine, it may be of use.

I currently don't have a GP. This is a huge part of the problem and why I cannot access the service that was helping.

I don't like talking about abuse with IRL people. Most people close to me don't have a clue it happened. It's complicated and long to explain.

Hypnotherapy is out due to dissociation I'm afraid. But yes, I had considered it.

Will look into all the names suggested - thank you so much everyone.

OP you really need to get a GP and start telling people around you (not in detail) but so they can help. They are here right now and unfortunately couldn't help you as a child but could provide the support and nurturing you need now. I'm worried you are vulnerable and desperate which is why you are considering this weird therapy.

By letting people know you need help and have experienced trauma it will help you. The energy to keep the past a secret is massive and you need all your energy to get better. Good luck 🍀

You don't have to tell people the detAil - it's ok to just say "I'm struggling due to childhood trauma". Easier said than done I know but it was revolutionary for me when I realised I didn't have to give everyone chapter and verse on my most personal shit - I could just say "yeah I was abused it causes issues". Good luck

How in God's name do you think this will help you?

Please please before you think of going contact BACP

Anyone with minimal training can call themselves a therapist or psychotherapist and unfortunately some do

Having trained for years myself (psychotherapist) I have work with many clients who were sexually abused when they were children. The therapy itself can make clients feel scared and vulnerable as they revisit the emotions they felt at the time. This puts clients in an extremely vulnerable position that has to be managed very very carefully.

I have heard of similar so called therapies run by so called therapists (who could have done a basic online course for a few hundred pounds that isn't with the paper it's written on). I have heard of sex therapists that are willing to build up a sexual relationship with rape victims so their client can empower themselves it's nothing of the sort it's an abuse of power

That you are coming on here and asking for opinions is concerning. On the BACP website there is low cost counselling. Many clients will see a few different therapists before they start feeling something is changing for them sometimes it's not working well with the therapist other times it's just to difficult to deal with all at one time but it can be done please don't give up hope and turn to such therapies that have no professional body willing to support their highly dubious theories

And of the person is running this a member of BACP or UKCP hey should be reported

If it's any help, when it comes to talking about things with IRL people, my first step was to write something (brief history plus a wee explanation that it was retraumatising for me to talk about it face to face, so please not lots of questions). Took a screenshot of that. Showed it to some people. No-one reacted badly. Some people who, over time showed support, I was then able to type something for them, print it out and show it to them. Later on (months later), that progressed to being able to hand write something. Then a handwritten 'conversation' between us. There is now one person (who tends not to ask questions and who lets me direct the flow/direction of the conversation) that I can talk about things with, but I still avoid talking about a lot of the details. I also had a really good, very well read therapist, who was able to understand me communicating with her by alluding to books/plays/poems/songs. Sometimes I was able to quote, at other times just refer to them (she usually knew, if she didn't she would look them up). Sometimes it was a reference to a film scene or painting. I mention this because it helped to have tangential, step by step ways of communicating and referring to things that weren't about delving into first hand experience and feeling very raw. It helped to take things one step at a time, both for me to get more comfortable expressing things (I hated seeing distress on other people's faces) and to reveal things slowly in order to build trust.

The first step above- I wrote it on a forum I was used to expressing myself on. Just blocked out the site name and my handle.

Why don't you have a GP? Sign up today

You need to register with a gp and access proper regulated official counselling.

Just because something sounds unusual to us, doesn't mean it's 'creepy' or 'weird'. I can totally understand why you would visit a place like this. You don't have anything to lose really! Just keep a sense of humour about it if you do find it odd. It's certainly worth trying though. Let us know how you find it if you do go. :)

OP I would also highly recommend Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score (alongside LaG's recommendations above).

Our bodies VERY MUCH respond negatively to the trauma they've suffered. It's not a bad idea to think of working with your body (as well as mind), but definitely don't do something like this "nursery". I agree with PP that if the person offering this service is BACP or BPS certified then you should report them (or pm me and I'll do it - in fact, I'd be interested in seeing this site).

There is something called Trauma Sensitive Yoga. It was devised by Peter Levine (one of his books is recommended above). If it's not available in your area (and it's probably not) then the principles seem to be that you just have to move doing basic poses, but nothing like Downward Dog, or poses that are likely to be triggering. You don't have to breathe in any specific way, although you can if you want. You can stop if you want too. The idea is that you do ONLY what you can and focus on what your body is doing, to the extent that you can. So, if you were do do an online yoga class, you could keep those ideas in mind if it is difficult, which may make it easier.

I am so sorry that you can't get the help you need. It definitely can get better though.

For me I found telling some friends helped in as much as they could help me with some practical things if I needed, or even just ask how I "really" am, which means a lot. They can't solve it, but it's like we hope there's one things to do that'll fix/undo it and in truth it's like we need to grow tentacles to rest on the ground to provide channels for lots of different small-scale support, as well as proper therapy.

I totally disagree with Lor - you have a LOT to lose from anything other than total safety. It's not like trying a new hairdresser! It's not something to do whilst maintaining a"sense of humour"!

I suggest that if people don't know what complex PTSD/developmental trauma/attachment trauma is or is like that they don't offer opinions. Suggesting something that is potentially retraumatising is akin to suggesting someone drinking poison on the chance that it may actually be water.

They change nappies & refer to themselves as Mummy? That doesn't sound appropriate to me

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reparenting

Levantine The Body Keeps the Score is sitting on my kitchen counter funnily enough, bought it in January, just getting round to reading it.

Will just add that doing some of the simple trauma related exercises
Levine outlines did help me. For example :

link to example

So did the TRE exercises by David Berceli.

Just being to process things in a physical way rather than a talking way was so much less likely to retraumatise me.

Agree that Art Psychotherapy could be a good fit.

EMDR is not suitable for complex trauma, reputable practitioners won't offer it for this. It's more for sudden disruptions such as accidents or one off assaults.

Anyone can call themselves a psychotherapist. Make sure and check qualifications.

What I meant by keeping a sense of humour is that when I've tried non-mainstream therapies or consultations for my own issues, sometimes I've felt uneasy in the environment or I come away feeling weirded out. Then, when I recount the story to family members they see it with a funny slant and make me chuckle about it too. It makes me feel a bit better again and back to my normal because I have a better perspective of the experience.

EMDR at Level 2 training IS suitable for complex trauma. But most EMDR practitioners don't have that second training, so it's essential to get one that does.

Sorry Levantine, my mistake.

No problems. It's a common misconception!

presumably the OP is not about going along for a it of a laugh or like trying out a weird and wonderful dance class.

If OP has suffered trauma number one is safety, number two is professional boundaries.

Fgs I was just suggesting how to deal if she visited and found it unnerving.