To visit an adult baby nursery

[FlappinSwazy]

AIBUE to visit an adult baby nursery to attempt to heal from some very early years childhood sexual abuse.

I have found one, and been offered a place to go visit, which does not provide any sexual / kink / fetish element (nothing wrong with that just not what I am looking for) alongside the adult "babying". It is run by a psychotherapist and appears to be run with clean, honest boundaries to transform early years traumatic memories.

I am so fed up of being unwell. I am pretty desperate and will literally try anything right now. I feel like I am falling apart and other services are not working, or terminating early, or not suitable.

Op if you have serious childhood trauma, this is not the place to go to.

Aeroflotgirl Yes, I think we're largely in agreement! What I meant was, even in the realm of 'real' therapeutic modalities, it is still very controversial to attempt to re-parent someone.

There are staunch advocates of 'limited re-parenting' in schema therapy, and I think in theory this can work well, but takes a therapist with a really robust toolkit to do this safely and get good results. An unskilled therapist, even with the best of intentions, can unwittingly open the most painful of old attachment injuries.

I had the same start to life and it does cast out a far reaching shadow over life.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through and I really hope that you find help that really works for you.

I am not going to say too much about myself but I have a great deal of professional knowledge about both sexual abuse and its treatment. This is not a good idea. I get that you are desperate to feel better but this is not the way.

EMDR can be good for some people but I agree that if you are in a very difficult place right now it might not be the time for it. CBT is the best idea right now. And perhaps medication if things are that difficult right now? Some antidepressants can make an enormous difference until the right therapy has done its work.

I have heard of things like play therapy...

However... First of all:

one on one? That sounds like there are more options of exploitation than in a group setting.

HOWEVER, I'm not a therapist in any way.

But I do have some experiences with certain fetish communities. Whilst I personally am not into the "adult baby thing" at all... I wouldn't be so convinced that the "carer" isn't. I'm sorry to say this. It seems like you're really convinced this is something you'd like.

I simply mean btw, that when I was younger I had a... "girlfriend" that was verymuch into the whole bdsm thing.

I'm assuming you wish to mentally go to a "younger age"/regress. Due to that and your trauma you will be vulnerable. Very vulnerable.

And "just" because somebody is a therapist doesn't mean they wouldn't use this to fuel their own fantasies, unfortunately.

I don't have any moral oppositions against this. If something helps you? Awesome. But I just fear you may end up with a whole set of new traumatic experiences...

Re patenting is a well documented path for healing from childhood trauma. Find out as much as you can about this set up, and of your instincts tell you to go that way, then go for it.
Invest survivors groups also run re patenting retreats.
Good luck on your oath with this.

Path not oath

Re patenting is a well documented path for healing from childhood trauma. Find out as much as you can about this set up, and of your instincts tell you to go that way, then go for it.
Invest survivors groups also run re patenting retreats.
Good luck on your oath with this.

Dangerous bullshit advice.

EMDR is a process that deals with trauma through reprocessing the memories and feelings associated with the trauma. Its a bit difficult to explain fully, but it can involve following a moving object with your eyes whilst remembering the situation and discussing with your therapist any thoughts and feelings that come up. The eye movement helps to bring the emotions, memories etc to the forefront and allow you to re-experience them and put them into the correct places in your memory, with less sensitive emotions surrounding them.

It can be very tiring and emotional. You have to be in a fairly stable place to deal with it, and having read the OP's updates I think other things need to happen before you could go through EMDR.

I'm not convinced this re-parenting situation is ideal though, especially if the therapist can not help you close down the trauma or reprocess it, but only opens it back up for you. I can't see how a bit of hugging and shushing can possibly fix trauma and PTSD or no one would be suffering anymore, it would only take a nice person to hug you once in a while to help otherwise.

Getting in touch with the BACP might be more useful, they would be able to give you more information about appropriate therapies. If you can pay for the parenting therapy, you should be able to find affordable appropriate therapy in other forms.

I don't see how making yourself vulnerable to a stranger would make you feel better overall. There are NO quick fixes to child sexual abuse. Regular therapy, mindfulness, exercise such as yoga etc are the only way to be able to fix this long term. You'll be wasting your time, money, and might even do yourself some harm.

To give you some tough love type advice - follow your doctor's recommendation and put up with it. If you can't afford the sessions then demand funding or find free counselling - there is plenty about. You seem like you want to take the easy way out and it's not right.

I am not sure whether this is helpful but a close friend of mine had ptsd in relation to early trauma and she found Peter Levine's book somatic experiencing very helpful. Worth adding though that she did this in conjunction with therapy.

This seems wide open for further abuse - I completely agree with the poster above that, even if it does all seem fine to you, what about the counsellor's angle, and what they might be getting out of it?

I am not a professional in this area at all, but I have worked with many survivors, and some service providers. There is one in particular who could speak to you about what other options there might be if you want to PM me and I can give you her details. She is very well-respected and also very clued-up about what is often suggested/provided for survivors.

There isn't long-term free counselling available to me. I have tried this avenue. I wish there was, but there just isn't, not for trauma anyway.

Anyway, I will look at the BACP and get in contact with them.

Feeling deflated as the reviews were so awesome. I thought I was onto something good.

Some asked about cost and it's 25% more expensive than counselling in my area - but change appears to happen way quicker.

I am listening to what you are all saying about retraumatisation, and all the other suggestions too. Thank you

Thank you, susurration

Try not to feel deflated. You are doing your best to find help and that means exploring lots of different avenues. Just because this one might not be right doesn't mean you aren't moments away from finding the right therapy or counselling team.

x

more than welcome middleclass

Op. In the nicest possible way, i think your desperation has lead you to view this bonkers method as a cure all. Trauma heals when we are able to let it go, move on and also deal with any MH issues in the present such as anxiety or depression. What your suggesting makes no sense.

Example. After years in an abusive relationship, person A meets person B. Person B is none abusive, kind, basically the ideal partner. Yet person A's adrenal system is geared up to expect abuse now as that's how our brains work to protect us. Person A keeps expecting person B to turn abusive, cheat, tell lies. Person A is projecting an old situation onto a new relationship due to previous suffering. Just because person A now has ideal love and care with person B, they still suffer. It takes lots of inner work to break free from old patterns of thinking. But it can be done and people gradually heal. I say gradually as there's no magic wand.

Don't let this 'baby service' con you. You would be much better saving to go on a mindfulness retreat etc or even investing in some books then that. Healing is a journey, not an instant cure.

OP, have you tried meditation?

I have no personal experience with childhood sexual abuse but I do have other traumas (mostly due to verbal abuse and sexual assault).

Meditation and just being really "kind" to myself were probably one of the first steps that actually "worked"/had positive results.

It sounds like it could be based on psychodrama, which is actually a fairly mainstream therapeutic choice.

I have tried meditation and I am not sure entirely if I was doing it correctly, but, it was still very loud inside my head... I will try again, actually, I was wondering if anyone has good sites for yoga and meditation resources (particularly with regards to trauma healing) please can you let me know?

Astoria ... Really, yoga ?? Exercise??? Mindfulness??? You have NO idea what you are gabbing on about! And the idea that there are plenty of therapeutic resources available shows simple how ignorant of all this you are.

As for taking the fucking EASY way out Jesus wept !!!! FFS !!

I agree absent, for op type of trauma, this is not the way to go. I agree it can degrade her and cause her more trauma. Go to your GP, and see if they can refer you to counselling or recommend any counselling organisations to you.

Double what @1horatio said, this sounds horribly like you would be making yourself VERY vulnerable. Massive red flags.