AIBU to think mums net should not be about bullying

[ZanStable]

I want to start by saying that I know this will get me called every name under the sun by a lot of you but I will take the bullying on the chin.

I have noticed a theme happening in thread where if you disagree with someone's point people have started resorting to name calling and mocking which to me is a form of bullying so I have to ask is this what you are all teaching your children?

I understand not everyone will agree but everything is posted yesterday either regarding myself or on someone else's thread resulted in at least one insult to my character or just mocking nasty comments.

I have been called an idiot, stupid, a princess, cold hearted, just to name a few just yesterday alone.

If your child came to you and said they had posted something online and was mocked and called names what would you think?
Is this acceptable from children? If not why are grown adults who are supposed to support each othere in raising said children resorting to this behaviour.

I don't see why some of you need to make yourselves feel better by insulting others or even comparing how "great you are" to others. I feel bad that you need to do it. If you do not know your own worth then I guess it might help you feel better to attack others if that is the case I send you a lot of love because you need it.

I was hoping mum's net would be a safe supportive place as I said even if you don't agree with someone there is a way of expressing yourself without lowering the tone to insults. I for one find it all very saddening as we all struggle with something about ourselves and I hoped that it would make this group of people more understanding.

I won't post again regarding anything and will advise other new parents to do the same. Read the articles yes but express anything on a forum no as some people might not have the thick skin needed to cope with the reply.

I know people don't like the "back in my day" posts buuuut I'm doing one anyway...one of the huge strengths of MN of old was the way people spoke to each other. If you were a cunt then you got your arse handed to you. You dealt with it and the next day you were on another thread having a lovely old time with the same people who'd handed you said arse the day before. It was grown up. Now it's all trigger warnings for a spider picture and bullying and moaning about swearing.

This is so going to show up in the DM now....

Probably miserable. They do like it when the 'mummies' argue with each other.

I thought if i mention the dm they are less likely to print... haha

Having a disagreement with someone is not bullying. That's obvious.

Being goady is an indication of line crossing. And is very clear.

Out right personal attacks is bullying. Totally clear and disgraceful behaviour.

The Daily Mail could learn a lesson or two from Mumsnet.

I quite like this workplace definition of bullying. I think ACAS also give a good definition.

I was bullied at school to the point where I became severely depressed. I was also on the receiving end of some of the stuff that went on last night. Frankly I thought it was funny. If it had been more sustained it might have felt like bullying but you can walk away from MN in a way that you can't get out of school, or escape from social media when you're a school child.

As for whether or not people are as rude IRL it's hard to tell. I once met up with someone irl who had a reputation online for being odd to say the least, and very outspoken. In person she was actually quite shy. Then later she really turned on me online. Odd person. I think her rather nasty behaviour was her way of compensating for being shy in real life. NB not all shy people do this.

one of the huge strengths of MN of old was the way people spoke to each other. If you were a cunt then you got your arse handed to you. You dealt with it and the next day you were on another thread having a lovely old time with the same people who'd handed you said arse the day before. It was grown up. Now it's all trigger warnings for a spider picture and bullying and moaning about swearing

Yes! I usually hate a "MN was so much better at X time" kind of post, but you're bang on here. I miss being able to call someone a complete twat one day and then agreeing and joking the next day. Now I have to namechange much more often because I'm sick of people whinging that I told them they were being precious one morning last may.....

Someone attempted to bully me here recently.

It was actually quite amusing. I think she was drunk.

Lots of mouthy keyboard warriors who think they're hard here recently.

PAs aren't acceptable and neither is bullying. But there seems to be a movement in RL (and MN becomes an extension of that) where everyone's 'feelings' have become unquestionable.

You see it all the time 'OP is upset and entitled to her feelings'...'you are invalidating me and my feelings' etc.

Everyone is of course entitled to their feelings. But that's as far as it goes. You can't expect other people to agree with them or 'validate your feelings' when the majority of people think you're over-reacting or being ridiculous.

It's narcissistic to think otherwise.

Woman up OP!

I've been sworn at, told I'm a terrible person and full of crap repeatedly on mumsnet because I've defended an opinion which is very unpopular here. I've also been accused of saying things I definitely didn't say, and believing things I definitely don't believe.

T'is the internet, and it's anonymous. If it ever gets to me I'll stop reading and stop posting.

You need to do the same.

I've simply stopped revisiting threads where people are being really personal and nasty.