to have a private gender scan

[TickingTimeBomb2017]

I'd just like some hand-holding and empathy more than anything. (AIBU probably not best choice! ha).

I'm 16 weeks. This is my third child. I have a son and daughter already so the gender of this third child does not affect me personally. However this will be DP's second child. His first was a girl. His brother has three girls. So obviously, his side of the family are excited for the possibility of this baby being a boy. They keep asking when the scan is. I largely got pregnant for DP because he wanted another child whereas I was satisfied with my two (because I have one of each!) DP has made his preference for a boy clear but has also given the spiel that he would love it no matter what.

I'm petrified of the chance of this baby being another girl, because I fear that:

• his family will not be bothered about it.
• DP will be less enthusiastic and engage less with it.
• there will be pressure for me to keep getting pregnant (I'm struggling with this pregnancy).

Sorry to sound dramatic but I cry regularly with worry and even have nightmares. I'm very tempted to have a private gender scan now, and attend alone, but then what? How do I cope? I've got a history of depression & anxiety so my fears are amplified than they would be for the average person. The worry is effecting my daily life and my relationship. I don't want to deprive DP of a son but I've found this pregnancy mentally very challenging.

I think even if it's a boy you have worse issues.

It's a boy! Lady luck smiled on me today.

Feeling very tearful with happiness and relief.

Thanks everyone.

Like I said you have worse things to worry about. It's all false because of it was a girl you wouldn't be happy nor would he how can you base your life around the gender of a baby?

ticking I'm genuinely glad the lesser of two evils has been realised for you. I am sorry that it won't solve the more fundamental problems underlying all this.

Just be prepared to defend your future DS from feeling ashamed if he doesn't meet everyone's expectations of him, help him to value who he really is whether or not it is who everyone wants him to be.

I am glad that your immediate concern has proven irrelevant. However your partner sounds awful. Will you be on here in 15 years' time panicking because your son might be gay and your DP would not accept this?

Also feel sorry for the son you already have, hope he doesn't develop a complex when the "prodigal" son arrives.