To say I'd rather give birth again than establish breastfeeding?

[Constructionbook]

Just that really. Birth yes painful and hard work but it's over pretty quick. Breastfeeding is a slow kind of torture. What feels like endless nights trying to deep latch baby on to shredded nipples and the hormonal rollercoaster that comes with it. Why is it so hard?

Yanbu. I can still remember the pain from feeding DC1 (tongue tie not diagnosed until 12 weeks) and the dread of her waking up for a feed. Even though I fed DC2 (who also had a tt but it was dealt with swiftly) for 14 months hassle free, I still remember that time.

I was diagnosed with ptsd when DC1 was 4 months. The bf struggle was just as big a part of that as her difficult birth (10lb baby stuck back to back, pushing for 3 hours with all pain relief requests refused, high cavity forceps, huge tear, pph, fractured coxyyx and retained placenta). although of course everyone is different.

Totally agree with you! Both my babies and I struggled with BFand both ended up on formula by about 6-8 weeks as I just couldn't take the pain!

I hated breastfeeding!

Wow, that feels good to say! Even after it got easy I hated the massive hot sore boobs, the leaking, the feeling of let-down.
I hated being pulled and poked and bitten by grumpy babies, hated only wearing clothes I could feed in and bras being too tight or too loose and unsupportive depending on when you last fed.

My dds are a little older now, and you'd never know how they were fed. The state of my poor boob's is a different story though.

I completely agree, trying to establish with twins was a nightmare for me, whilst I know others who have done it with ease.
There was constantly someone attached to my breast yet no one was gaining weight and I was a mess and wasn't bonding well.
I ended up expressing and bottle feeding, it was a game changer

I don't think there's a one size fits alll, so to speak, but in my book a fed baby is a happy baby, be it breast, bottle or formula.

BillyButtfuck I have so much respect for mothers of twins/multiple siblings. It was bad enough feeding one baby, I couldn't imagine two!! Fair play to you!

Belle thank you, I felt like a failure at the time. And guilty about switching to bottles but it was the right thing to do.
I have a really ace photo that one of the midwives took of me in hospital 'tandem' feeding which I treasure.

Never been in labour, but the pain recovering from a caesarean was a walk in the park compared with breastfeeding. For me it was nausea. It was just relentless. Theelephantofsurprise's post was lovely, and I really wanted to feel like that - like ds was as much a part of me as my arms and legs. However, if anything I felt like my body was rejecting him! I managed to express enough milk to give me a solid chunk of time each day when I could stomach a small meal and just feel normal. That helped, but then ds was back on the breast, and back came the nausea. I don't think I've ever felt so miserable. I wasn't bonding with him at all and was hardly eating. I was combination feeding by 12 weeks. My GP disapproved of course, but looking back I think I made the right call. So you're not alone, you're not BU, and if you can persevere with it you're a better woman than I! xxxx

Defo good advice from elephant. Just keep the baby in a sling or very close and allow limitless suckling 24/7, and just ACCEPT that this is the way it is for the first couple of months.
Of course initial breastfeeding can be very painful (there was my bloof in my baby's poo!) but I think more than half the battle is an almost subconscious resistance by the mother to just allowing the baby on and off at will. It's hard as you literally give over your body and have to ignore the cries of "your milk isn't enough", "give a bottle", "she can't be hungry AGAIN", "MY baby only fed every four hours". Ignore ignore, everyone forgets the weird blur of the first 8 weeks or so

itsjustaphase thats ok for people who want to spend 8 weeks doing that. I would rather poke my eyes out.
Agree with you, OP. Thats why I gave birth 3 times and only attempted breastfeeding the first time.

YANBU. I had D-Mer and breastfeeding made me feel suicidal and no amount of convenience would have compensated, and it was a total pain in every way anyhow... so I am with you! If it works out for others great, I can only speak for myself.

Conversely I really enjoyed giving birth both times especially the pushing bit so just goes to show how we are all different

YANBU, just passed 6 wks and only just healing up and getting the hang of it. a lot of what makes it suck is what s massive let down it is when you expect it to be all beautful and nurturing, and it is the exact opposite and becomes a barrier to enjoying your lovely baby. IME it does get better, but wow i cried so much the last month or so!

YANBU, just passed 6 wks and only just healing up and getting the hang of it. a lot of what makes it suck is what s massive let down it is when you expect it to be all beautful and nurturing, and it is the exact opposite and becomes a barrier to enjoying your lovely baby. IME it does get better, but wow i cried so much the last month or so!

I have really loved breastfeeding. Not that it's without its difficulties. First couple of weeks, agony. Absolute dream for the next 5 or 6 weeks, loved it. Then ds stopped putting weight on, but feeding continuously. Diagnosed with reflux, no weight gain. Started expressing to see if it was my supply not filling him. Saw a breastfeeding councillor who helped me find ways to feed him without having to grit my teeth. His initial latch is excellent, but he cant sustain it. He goes on a feeding strike. Back and forth to the GP.

He's being reffered to paeds with and possible posterior tongue tie and what appears to be a lip tie. He's almost 16 weeks. We may have to wait up to 4 weeks to be seen because he's not actually ill, but he's not putting on much weight. He feeds pretty much every hour/two hours, especially at night.

At every hurdle I have been told "just top him up with a bottle" from HCP. I can completely understand why so many women pack it in. I'm only persevering because I'm so stubborn, and now it's been going on so long the pain and discomfort seems like I can square my shoulders and take it. Hopefully the end/a resolution is in sight. Trying to do some research into lactation consultants, there's a clinic relatively close to me.

Women put far too much pressure on themselves.

I need back on my medication so won't be doing it full stop.

What Lugeeta said. I really encourage you to try to lay down and feed. I struggled with DS1 until a friend helped me see the light about feeding laying down. I fed him until he was 2 and DS2 has been EBF for 6 months now - this time without a single issue. I have two unopened tubes of lanisoh to prove it!

I'm convinced that it's because both baby and I are more relaxed, there is no upper back or neck strain or pain and we can both doze and nap. I don't count the minutes I'm feeding because I'm comfortable and happy and can knock off at least 20 emails per feed typing away on my iPhone.

Don't forget that back in ye olden days women probably only went through establishing breast feeding once. First baby would continue to feed until the next one came along (or tandem fed, even) meaning that the rubber nips one develops after a while remained so for years on end, rather than returning to delicate, sensitive skin.

Oh no... I was planning on bf'ing my next DC (I'm 4 months pg) and now I'm absolutely dreading it

YANBU. I would rather go through the pain of childbirth than establish breastfeeding or being sewn back together after the birth again.

I think lots of people find BF easy and lots don't Peach you won't know until you try.

I didn't find it easy and indeed hated it for the first 6 weeks. Hate then became indifference.

And after about 10 weeks I loved it. Breast feeding hormones are kinda magical when you get over the pain bit. It was a lovely experience and I was sad to finish. Hoping for another baby soon.

God, this thread depresses me so much I'm having a rotten first trimester (HG and all sorts), just six more months of discomfort to get through, then the bloody terrifying labour, only to deal with the pain of breastfeeding! I want to breastfeed, but the idea of being in some sort of baby related physical discomfort for a least a year is so so depressing and enough to make me reach for the bottles!

I think when it works, it works and is wonderful! I've honestly completely loved it and am really invested in continuing. The key for me had been having the right (and knowledgeable) support.

We've hit some walls (the reflux and the not gaining weight) but I didn't know I wasn't doing an excellent job at breastfeeding until the HV told me to mix feed him! And then my confidence took a massive hit and I think that probably contributed to further stress because I was so desperate for him to put on weight that it affected my hormones! It can be done, and it's lovely when it works well. We're just ironing out the wrinkles!

Peaches and Lemondrop, please don't worry. People who had a hard time will flock to this thread to share their tales woe (myself included) so you get a skewed impression. So many people have no problems at all, and there's lots of excellent advice and support available. I started combination feeding quite early, but was still mostly breastfeeding, and it did get a whole lot easier and I loved it in the end. Plus, I'd hate to have to get up in the night faffing about with bottles, it must be exhausting. Just see how it goes for you and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

OP, have you tried silicone nipple shields? (Sorry if someone has mentioned this before.) I used them for a couple of weeks, and then was able to get rid of them. They were wonderful.

Another vote for lying down here.
Although I can remember trembling with fear of the anticipated pain as my DD1 was about to BF that was probably for two or three days in my entire life and well worth it. Once we both perfected the correct latching-on technique I fed her and her two younger siblings for 12 months each with no problems. How much time/hassle is sterilisation etc? Maybe none, I have no idea.
TBH BF is about the only thing I think I have got 'right' as a Mother...

Breastfeeding is a choice you are making. If you want to stop, it's a perfectly valid choice.