To say I'd rather give birth again than establish breastfeeding?

[Constructionbook]

Just that really. Birth yes painful and hard work but it's over pretty quick. Breastfeeding is a slow kind of torture. What feels like endless nights trying to deep latch baby on to shredded nipples and the hormonal rollercoaster that comes with it. Why is it so hard?

[Lugeeta]

Elephant, I think your advice is good but I don't think it's accurate to say it will hurt or that it isn't easy to start because for a lot of people it is really easy. Their baby latches easily and feeds often and they have no pain. They feed lying down from the start and get plenty of sleep. From my personal experience the people who seem to find it easiest are those who have seen friends/family bf often before they have their own first baby. I don't know why. But I don't think it's good for pregnant people to think bf is something that will definitley always be sore and hard yo start with because if I had been told that when I was first pregnant I am not sure I would even have tried!

[Hamsolo]

I don't know. Both were awful for me. First time round breastfeeding was difficult as my supply too ages to come in, but it wasn't painful. Second time around supply was fine but it was agony, genuinely agony, for the first four weeks. Then just painful for two weeks. Then, finally, it got very easy. I came very, very close to giving up second time around.

[BeaderBird]

I'm 6 weeks and 2 days in and it's been the worst pain I have ever experienced but slowly but surely it has become delightful after 5 weeks of absolute agony. Stick with it if your just a few weeks in, even through the pain and the blood, you're about to come out the other side xx

[NotCitrus]

Even without nipple-shredding or thrush (which caused loads of problems with ds), the pain of let-down was horrible for a couple weeks with dd. Like nails down a blackboard in my breasts. And all the pain of contracting uterus and pelvis, and everything.

At least for birth I had epidurals!

I did actually bf them to 14 and 26 months, but ds's feeding was a major project for 4 months - one reason I kept going after was to finally reap the benefits!

[Willyoujustbequiet]

Im the exact opposite.

Births were horrific. Pain was unbearable.

Breastfeeding, sleepless nights aside, was ridiculously easy.

[Areyoufree]

Nipple shields. I couldn't have breastfed without them.

[Constructionbook]

Thanks for all the replies. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. This is my second DC it took 3 months of pain and stress before BF finally clicked with DC1. I guess I thought with DC2 it would be a breeze after everything I'd learned with DC1. It's definitely not a breeze, it's hard as fuck.

Limon- not sure what you mean by 'it's my choice?'

Missclimpsons- yes I agree there should be much better discussions about BF before the birth and better support for BF mums after. I think that for the whole postpartum period- all of it took me by surprise.

[bittorrent123]

Completely agree. I found BF so so hard and found establishing it traumatic. However if you decide to/are able to etc carry on it will likely get easier and I found it much easier with the second and third babies.
I remember how tough those days were.

[coconutpie]

Ladies, absolute agony while bf is not normal. Please attend a breastfeeding suppprt group. Initial minor discomfort as you start bf in the early days is ok but not agony, pain, etc.

[jpclarke]

I have just had dc3 three weeks ago. I have had 3 very different experiences. For those that are really struggling with pain. I would highly recommend getting your baby checked for tongue tie, and possibly snip it. I had a very painful experience on my first, and I was told she had a slight tongue tie but I wasn't advised to do anything about it. In hindsight I should of went and had it snipped. On my second, there was no pain but no tongue tie. I had my third 3 weeks ago and it was painful initially and I was advised she had a tongue tie. I kept asking to see the lactation midwife who eventually confirmed why I was experiencing pain this time. As they dont snip tongue ties in my hospital she gave me contact details for doctors who do snip them. We went and had it snipped two days later and voila. I more pain.

[babyblabber]

I agree but the good news is once you've done the hard work once, any other babies will be easy to feed. I had the worst time with DC1 for 6 weeks, actual torture. DC2 I was worried but I was like a pro. Without realising it I actually knew what I was doing. Currently feeding DC4

[StinginBelle13]

coconutpie I have to disagree completely. Breastfeeding was agony to the point it made me cry. Health visitior, midwife, breastfeeding support worker and other professionals all said he was latching on perfectly. He didn't have tongue tie, either. It continued to be agony until I stopped breastfeeding nearly 7 months later.

[MetalMidget]

My son had a lovely latch, fed really well, put on weight splendidly... but my nipples were in agony for ten weeks before settling down.

"It doesn't hurt if you're doing it properly."

FUCK OFF.

I really feel for women trying to breastfeed who have tongue tied (or just uncooperative) babies, and I understand why so many pack it in!

[Wando1986]

How many of your babies had an unresolved tonguetie? I'm bearing in mind the NHS categorises them less harshly than say a private midwife service. What the NHS would say was 'acceptable' the consultant with my midwife service would not and would treat it. Just curious...

[Camomila]

Everyone's different, for me breastfeeding pain was only the first week and it was at 'ooh that's a bit stingy' levels rather than the full on screaming I was doing by the end of labour (3rd degree tear, ouch!)

I was very lucky that I had nice midwifes that showed me what to do, hand express to get colostrum out, tickle baby's cheek etc. Plus when I said it was painful they said that sometimes women just do find it painful at the beginning even if everything is fine. I found that massively reassuring.

After that breastfeedings been pretty easy, he's always gained weight steadily and is a super efficient feeder (couple of minutes per boob).

I think what is really unhelpful to breastfeeding mums is the 'is he/she feeding again' 'why don't you give some formula just in case' type comments you seem to get from random friends and relatives. I'm fairly bolshy and just reel off info at people but I can see how it can get people down/make them question themselves.

[BabyHamster]

That's how I feel too. I realise it's different for everyone, but for me breastfeeding was so much worse than birth.

[toffeeboffin]

I'd rather have two c sections, dialate to five cms and have multiple cervical examinations than establish breastfeeding.

[toffeeboffin]

It wasn't 'painful'. It was total fucking agony.

I ended up with thrush, mastitis and severely cracked nipples. Even the nurse looked horrified at my nips!

[DoingThisRight]

Yanbu, I was so incredibly naive to think everyone can breastfeed until i had my baby.
I pumped, tried meds, tried natural and herbal remedies, hired a hospital grade pump and had a colic baby and with horror realized if bf my dh couldn't help out much. Gave up after a month and was glad to do so.

[n0ne]

It's a nightmare, I agree. Took me 3 months of pain, insecurity, embarrassment and sleepless nights before it clicked. But after that, it was a breeze! So glad I stuck it out. I'm gonna try again with the one I'm currently baking. REALLY hope it's easier this time cos I know what I'm doing (famous last words ) and I also don't give 2 shits about bfing in public.

[kimann]

YABU. Not everyones birth was easy.

[Archedbrowse]

YANBU

[BoredOnMatLeave]

YANBU, I am the same. Birth was a breeze but the thought of ever having to breastfeed again makes me want to cry.

[Noodoodle]

Ds was a breeze for bf but I hated it for some reason.

Dd bf-ing was awful, I remember sitting there in tears in the middle of the night while she fed. I wish I'd known about MN for support. And the sore boobs...god, never again. I wouldn't "rather" give birth though, both mine were terribly short but no pain relief for one and not much for the other, were both horrible. I still vividly remember the feeling. They say you forget and that's why you have the next one - no, not me!

[Blueskyrain]

Op, I think what Limon meant is that it's your choice to breastfeed. That you don't have to if you don't want to, and perhaps if you think of it more as a choice than a duty, it may make you feel better.