Hope this is in the right place,
I am hurting really bad and don't know how to deal with my feelings or the best way to handle this.
I started a long distance relationship with a lovely sweet guy I met online.
We have known each other for 1 year now.
I have pushed away a partner of 30 years because I drifted from him and fell in love with this other guy.
I got my own place moved out and my long distance man comes every weekend to see me always respected him for that because he works 6 days a week and comes after work on the train.
I live for his visits cant get him out of my head.
If I get upset when he goes he reassures me he will keep coming.
During the week he texts me video calls me always saying he misses me loves me.
He has a friend who owns a takeaway who wants his help as friend has had to go away so my man is going straight from his day job to the takeaway even though he doesn't even know if friend is going to pay him anything obviously he wants him there Saturdays when he normally comes to me.
I feel so gutted that he has considered it over me but I haven't let him know my feelings I want to spill it out to him how its making me feel the friend will possibly be away for up to 6 weeks however he has been asking him to come and work there properly.
I know I probably need to get a life but I am feeling so unhappy and hurt I have tried and tried to accept in my head and get a life but still the hurt is there.
He didnt come Saturday gone I hated it he called me asking how I am that day when he was on his way to the takeaway to see how I was and I said I was sad he seemed a little surprised when I told him iyt was because he wasn't coming.
He said he would come now and forget the takeaway and I told him no carry on and we agreed for me to come to him next day.
He text me the next day asking how I was and asked if I had booked his train ticket for this Saturday and I said no and he said I will come.
I have been feeling like I am in his way and shouldn't cause him trouble like a hanger on desperate woman so said If he needs to go to the shop I will support him and come to him he said no I wanna see you so I said okay we will chat about it after.
Never did get the chance to chat has he is so busy.
Today I said let me know what you are going to do then and he replied saying I will let you know after.
I know I am giving mixed messages but I am bottling it all up.
I am churning up inside so much wanting him with me instead of that shop. He says his happy time is with me and he wants to meet me every week so I am trying to process why he cant just say no I am to see my woman.
Please help me get a grip how should I handle this.