MIL and holiday

[Stardust1901]

Not having a great day today!

DP and I have booked to go on holiday with DD who will be 11 months. Very excited our first family holiday.

MIL has asked for dates so she, her partner and their DD (8) can look and come to give a hand 😫 How do I tell her that I want it to be the three of us, without offending her!

My in laws had a holiday home in Spain, a one bedroomed apartment with a lounge kitchen and bathroom. They let us stay once a year for up to two weeks.
The year my sister in law and her family (her DH, twins aged 3 and 11 month old) went the in laws turned up. They expected sis in law and her family to sleep on sofa beds in the lounge while they had the bedroom.
SIL and family found another apartment for the remainder of their stay.

I had the exact same happen to me mil wantes to visit us on hol. She wouldnt dream of visiting my other halfs brothers and their families.

I looked shocked and told her it was too far to come for a few hours to which she replied "a few hours? Im coming for the day" to which i said it was still too far. Absolutely nuts.

Thing is it was my parents holiday. Theyd just invited us. Barking.

You could always give her the wrong dates babybrainisaterriblething

Discussing a potential holiday with wider family or friends, before anything is booked? Fine

Inviting yourself onto an already booked holiday? Not fine. If people wanted others there it would have been discussed pre-booking.

Don't you ever suggest going on holiday with your friends?

Well no as mob handed holidays are not my thing, but the difference between saying "Shall we go away together somewhere" and "Oh you are going to X on Y? Great, I will come too!" is massive, surely you can see that?

I've had Pil offer to take us on holiday in the past. I'd get all excited (we were skint, so couldn't afford to go on our own), but it would never happen.

Bil couldn't confirm dates or they'd happily pour over pictures of destinations but never book.

Roll on a few years and they go away with Bil every year, secretly. They don't tell us and act embarrassed when it inevertably slips out. I don't care as I much prefer it just being us.

When dh and I got married we had planned to run away secretly to our favourite island but relented a fortnight before and invited dm and dmil (both fathers are dead). Only thing is cottage we had booked only had 2 bedrooms -a small double downstairs and a big room with 3 singles upstairs. We'd stayed there before so both we and dmil knew the layout . When we arrived on the day before the wedding dmil announced that because she would want to go to the loo in the night she was having the double room downstairs instead of sharing with my mother as had been planned. Dh and I therefore spent our wedding night and the rest of our stay in single beds sharing a room with my mother (who was so upset she offered to pay for us to stay in the hotel instead). Luckily we both found it funny after the first moments. And took lots of walks on our own to secluded beaches