MIL and holiday

[Stardust1901]

Not having a great day today!

DP and I have booked to go on holiday with DD who will be 11 months. Very excited our first family holiday.

MIL has asked for dates so she, her partner and their DD (8) can look and come to give a hand 😫 How do I tell her that I want it to be the three of us, without offending her!

bluebird he has been very 'it's done now', mainly cos he doesn't want to embarrass himself.

He's going to get a shock though because I'm seriously considering not going. I've told him and he thinks I'm joking, but I'm not. I trust he will find explaining my absence to pil more embarrassing than telling them they are not coming!

Mil tried this with our honeymoon Good grief, ollieplimsoles!

Well said, OP. Hope all will be well.

Well done op!!

Well done. Now stay strong and don't cave.

Do you actually need help with an 11 month old baby.

"Not too sure what you are on about MIL. I think we are capable of looking after baby on our own."

Another who thinks they want you to babysit

Thanks everyone - Just to clarify, no we haven't been away together before, we see her about twice a month. I find MIL nice but overbearing, if she came I think she might take over and plan every day for us!

ollieplimsoles Your honeymoon?? She didn't! Bloody hell, I think I have it easy!

On a similar-ish thread recently, a poster said that her sister's policy with in-laws was not to rock the boat, but that twenty years on the sister says she wishes she had rocked the boat, or even driven it onto rocks.
Start as you mean to go on, OP. Stand your ground.

Oh yes,
Make use of the advance search on here and scroll through my many posts about her, crashing our honeymoon really is the tip of the iceberg...

ollieplimsoles your HONEYMOON????????

Full story please.

I'm off to search ollieplimsoles

Well done OP for sending a clear message. We had the same with my inlaws when my daughter was born but it's much better now (apart from the fact they tell everyone how much they help us out when they actually do bugger all).

Well done for asserting yourself (unusual on these threads!).
I think best to keep it vague about any future plans. Extended family trips are not everyone's cup of tea.

Surely you're going out of school holidays (unless one of you is a teacher, because who would pay the premium otherwise) so if there's an 8 year old involved you're probably safe and they won't be able to go anyway.

What is it about holidays that mean relatives can just invite themselves along ffs. This isn't the first thread about it.
Myself I've booked us a week away not too far about an hour in the car just a small self catering caravan and mum has gone and invited herself down for the day. I mean why would you? it's someone else's holiday bog off and get your own.
I've sort of murmured how we are planning a few days trips and not sure what we are doing on what day but I really can't believe that so many people feel entitled to just tag along.

Oh you've told her anyway. Well done!

Stand firm OP, her not taking it well doesn't mean you've done anything wrong.

Another who agrees don't share the dates or exact destination to avoid any lovely surprises or really odd coincidences five minutes after you arrive.

I feel for you, and for the poster whose DH has invited his parents. My DP is lovely but does that sort of thing as well. You do right by putting your foot down - thankfully my lovely MIL knows my DP has form so tends to discuss with me!

It was just a drop in the ocean of fuckery surrounding our wedding, dh didn't want her to get involved in the honeymoon either but she just laughs it off and teases dh for being embarrassed of his mummy drives him crazy.

Basically she knew we were honeymooning in England and didn't understand why she couldn't just come and stay with us, she wanted to find out if the place had any free cabins so she could book one with fil. We were horrified so didn't tell her where we were exactly going.

with OP

DH and i took a canal boat break a few years ago. Just 4 days.

PIL basically invited themselves to join us for a day - which doesn't seem so bad - except that it meant being in a certain place by 9 o'clock on the morning of day 3. The point of the break for us was to gently float along as far (or not) as we fancied each day; but having to make it to the meeting point with PIL meant we had to do a min. amount of travel on day one and two and meant we couldn't spend most of the days rolling about in bed together kind of spoiled the whole chilled atmos. of the trip.

MIL still talks about how much she enjoyed the day. She often asks 'would you do another trip like that?' and then 'if you do we'll DEFINITELY join you again. Maybe for the whole trip!'.

sigh

Wow Coffeethrowtrampbitch. I wouldn't be going either.

x post with ollie

dear god

Coffee I don't think I'd go either. But I'd probably arrange something else for me and DC because I would not want to forfeit a holiday with them. I'd let DH go away with his parents on his own and I'm sure he'll have a lovely time 😂