I should feel so happy and lucky right now, but instead I feel really guilty and ashamed of myself, and very ungrateful.
My boyfriend proposed when we were visiting my parents, on a really busy day when we had lots to do so we didn't really have time to enjoy the moment.
This would be okay, except I know that when he proposed to his ex, he arranged a special day with lots of surprises, had a ring specially designed for her, and whisked her away on a glamorous holiday for a week to celebrate.
I feel so sad because he told me months ago, when we discussed getting married, that he wanted to propose to me properly. So because he'd been so romantic with his ex, I thought he would make it lovely for me too, except in a different way, of course. (NB she ended up splitting up with him before they got married; he's still not entirely sure why).
Don't get me wrong - this isn't about money. I didn't expect a holiday, or a bespoke ring or anything, we have more important things to spend our money on, but even a night away in a hotel somewhere, or candles or something . . . just SOMETHING to show that he'd planned it and thought about it.
I feel second-best; like he loves me less than his ex. I'm worried that he isn't motivated to be romantic or do special things for me, whereas with previous girlfriends he seems to have been very thoughtful and sweet.
Yes, I feel lucky that this man loves me enough to want to marry me . . . but I'm disappointed that he didn't make more of an effort with the proposal. I'm going to try to put it behind me because I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things . . . it just hurts a little!