My annoyingly work colleague just stood up for me and saved my job.

[Shrekk]

I've had a really stressful month at work. We've had an inspection going on all week as well as me having a number of emergencies to attend to.

There is one woman at work I just can't take too. She talks all the time, gossips, says the wrong thing all the time. We just don't get on and have nothing in common. I've overheard her say bitchu things about me. I don't like her. We just don't speak to each other now except for the odd pleasantries as I'm sure she finds me as irritating as I find her. Over the years it's become more than Indifference. It's more dislike.

In our job we have to keep all our papers in locked draws in our desk and mark names off some reports before they're filed. We also have to keep a log of all our phone calls and complete a specific report at the end of each day.

I had done none of these things as I'd just dealt with an emergency situation and I was in a state of complete stress. We were being investigated and the investigator was coming in an hour. As I rushed back to save my bacon basically I was called to another emergency.

At this point I knew I'd be in big trouble. Confidential information was lying on my desk. Names not blacked out with pen, notes not upto date, report not done. I was so stressed.

I actually felt sick when I returned to my desk. Only to find my irritating work colleague closing the draw just as the inspector came in. The papers had been anonymised, everything locked away, phone log upto date, report completed. It would have been two hours work.

I am always very professional and have never ever not done my job to a high standard before but this was an extraordinary week with much more than normal on and my stress levels were through the roof.

We work independently so if I'd been found to be inadequate that would have in no way reflected on my work colleague. She did this for me.

The inspectors found nothing of concern and left. She's not been back from annual leave since Thursday since this happened.
AIBU to think this was really lovely? Do I now try and get on better with her.

Or was this pretty standard thing to do, and I just go back to ignoring her/not really liking her?

That was a lovely thing for her to do. Now its your turn to make an effort.

I think it was a really lovely but also professional thing to do. Maybe she doesn't dislike you as much as you think she does?

I would view this as an olive branch and buy her a bunch of flowers or a card.

Well maybe its time to stop taking a dislike to people for no reason.

Yeah you should be horrible to her. Absolutely.

(What sort of reply did you expect to this?!?)

That was a lovely thing for her to step in and help out, I think a little gift and a thank you are in order, but you don't need to try to be best mates. She obviously just saw what a difficult situation you were in and stepped in.

What a lovely thing to do. I'd defiantly acknowledge it with a nice gesture. Maybe buy her a bottle of wine (if she drinks) or chocolates, along with a card. She didn't have to do it, and I'm sure she would really appreciate the thought you put into thanking her. I love hearing about people doing nice things for others .

It was lovely.

She may not like you but it seems she respects you. Far more valuable in a work colleague! I'd buy her something as a thank you. And remember to look after her/stand up for her if she ever needs it. No need to force a friendship though.

Would you have done the same for her?
I think some chocs or flowers for when she comes back would be nice.
Maybe you can both agree to make a bit more of an effort to get along?

To be honest I think you get over yourself and realise that whatever petty differences you've had, she's a good person and she had your back when the chips were down. And that lots of other people wouldn't have.

I think that it is a bit surprising you have to ask, that your emotions haven't shifted a bit naturally.

You don't have to be fake bezzie mates though. But you do need to 1). Have her back in the future 2). Give her a bit of respect/space and see if anything develops from there at it's own pace.

Make sure you thank her properly. And yes, it's time to re evaluate. If you've worked together for years, it's possible that you've both changed a bit. Fresh start?

Aw wow how lovely of her. I shared this experience a few months ago but it seems apt to put it on here.

I also didn't get on with a woman I worked with, actually we both openly admitted that we weren't each others cup of tea and were happy ignoring each other.

Anyway, I had an ectopic and was off for 3 weeks, she messaged me every few days to ask if I was ok, I didn't hear off my manager or the rest of the team.

After that I realised I had learnt a lesson

That's was really nice of your colleague OP

She saved your bacon. You owe her big style.

That was above and beyond. An amazing kind thing for her to do.

I'm not really understanding why you'd be in the shite when you're being called away to emergencies and so prevented from doing the vital paperwork. Sounds like a hell of a situation.

There's no "I" in team.

Shrekk I am afraid that the two questions you ask in your post say more about you than they do about her. Her actions speak volumes about the kind of person she really is. I am quite frankly surprised you even have to ask those questions, unless you are being deliberately provocative? If you are not, then you really need to do some self reflection.

That's a box of roses and a profuse thank you in my book, regardless of how you feel Day to day.

I'm not sure about a present - a bit personal, perhaps, or slight whiff of bribery - but I think a face to face detailed, sincere big, big thank you is in order. She presumably knows just how hectic your week had been, and showed her loyalty and respect for you professionally by what she did. A good colleague to have.

Thanks everyone. I will say thank you and get a gift.

I've not exactly been nice to this woman. It just seem very 'sucking up to someone' to me.

I don't know why you would bother to do something so nice to someone whose not exactly been nice to you.

Thanks everyone. I will say thank you and get a gift.

I've not exactly been nice to this woman. It just seem very 'sucking up to someone' to me.

I don't know why you would bother to do something so nice to someone whose not exactly been nice to you.

You dont have to like someone to appreciate their professionalism and say 'thank you'. Or have their back at work.

It was very kind of her op. It's definitely time for a sincere thanks and a box of chocs. She obviously doesn't dislike you.

Maybe because she is nice even if you aren't nice to her.
Maybe she wanted to keep the companies reputation in tact?
Lesson learnt - just be nice from now on.

You don't need to like someone to see that they are good at their job and that these extraordinary circumstances left your normally good work lacking.
Perhaps your not each other's cup of tea, but some nice flowers on her desk to welcome her back to work would be nice.

AIBU to think this was really lovely? Do I now try and get on better with her

Is this a moment to reflect on productive & self-care emotions in the workplace?

That is, that there can be a difference between getting on with someone professionally, and feeling for them (liking/disliking) in a way that is usual outside the workplace.

It might be better for you all round (what I mean by 'self-care') as you sound quite stressed and clearly over-invested in workplace relationships.

Your colleague is clearly highly professional, and probably quite kind, even if she has strong opinions and bitches. I'm not saying you should try to like her, but you probably need to find a way to release your emotional attachment to the workplace.

It's difficult, I know, as we spend so much time working. But you might be calmer & happier?