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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to still be really annoyed about this woman?

137 replies

Springersrock · 13/03/2017 12:02

I had to take 15 year old DD shopping yesterday. She needed a black, zip up hoodie for PE at school and some foundation. Half hour, job done....so I thought.

Trailed round the shops where she tried on and discarded god knows how many identical plain black hoodies before we ended up back where we started. My patience is now wearing thin

We then move on to the foundation. Should be easy enough, nip into Boots, except they didn't have her usual colour and brand.

We then barely look at and discard virtually every brand of foundation in the shop based on her friend has the same brand and it's rubbish/it will make her look orange, all the while bitching and moaning about rubbish shops and what a shithole we live in for forty-five-fecking minutes! Hanging on to my last shreds of patience, I suggest we go to the No7 counter and do the colour match thing.

DD - are you dumb?
Me - ...or benefit?....what did you just say?
DD - piss off.

At which point I lose my rag. I don't shout, but tell her through gritted teeth not to be so rude and that she has 5 minutes to make her mind up or I would be leaving the shop and she could buy her own "bloody foundation"

This woman then steps between us, turns her back to me and puts her arm round DD and asks if she's OK? DD shrugged her off and said yeah, she was fine.

Woman then turns to me and starts giving me a lecture about how I should be kinder to my daughter, that one day she'll leave home and I'll regret being so nasty.

I cut her off, politely and said we were fine. She then called me rude and that I should be ashamed of myself and that I was being abusive to DD. So I said, we'd been in the shop for 45 minutes, I was fed up with DD's rudeness and if she thought she could do a better job, to be my guest. Woman then huffed a bit, repeated I was rude and abusive, then walked off.

I'm still really annoyed about it. I don't think I did anything wrong, I didn't shout or rant or anything like that.

Also, DD now thinks she's the bees knees as I got told off.

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 13/03/2017 15:23

i am surprised you didnt make up in a shared snigger at interfering woman.
crazy lady.

the exploits are a bit familiar with the shopping , not the piss off, but you never can tell with 15 year old girls

diddl · 13/03/2017 15:23

There's swearing & swearing though isn't there?

I mean it's one thing to start using swear words, quite another to tell your own mum to piss off-especially when she's there doing you a favour!

Springersrock · 13/03/2017 15:28

DD has been punished for this - she can get her make up (with her own money) on the way home from school,but she's now grounded. And she has since apologised.

She'd been quite amiable until we got to Boots, she's never said it to me before, she doesn't go round telling me to piss off on a regular basis. I'd ignored the shithole business as I agree with a PP she was doing it to get a rise out of me.

OP posts:
Springersrock · 13/03/2017 15:32

sorry, I waffled.

She has apologised, since she's been home from school.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 13/03/2017 20:40

Glad this has been resolved.

PennyPickle · 13/03/2017 20:51

You couldn't make it up! Seriously though if my 14 year old had spoken to me in that way I would have walked out and left her to it. Please tell me you didn't buy her the foundation?

TheTroutofNoCraic · 13/03/2017 21:28

I've been the busy body in a similar situation...teen girl being a complete arsewipe to her mum in Topshop, called her mum a "Stupid bitch" because she didn't want her to have a tiny, strappy crop top.

I couldn't help myself (the teacher in me, I suppose, coupled with the memories of the odd thick ear for answering back to my mum) and I just spat "That's a lovely way to speak to your mum!"

I did instantly feel like an interfering dick for saying anything but the mum seemed vindicated by my comment! Halo

Ohyesiam · 13/03/2017 21:56

You sound very patient and reasonable. The interfering woman on obviously has a huge back story of fucking people off and you did well not to lose it with her.

exaltedwombat · 14/03/2017 17:27

A teenager needs foundation?

MumsGoneToYonderLand · 14/03/2017 17:46

what worralLiberty said.
If my DD ever says that to me she would also be making her own way home from town and making her own meals/laundry from then on etc.

Forget about the woman. You don't have to live with her. Your daughter needs to fix up. I hope its a one off thing and she is usually much nicer!

Deathstarevicki · 14/03/2017 17:49

Your dd would not of hot foundation after that and the interfering busybody would of got the full force of my tired pregnancy rage. Sounds like they both got let off lightly.

Loreleigh · 14/03/2017 17:52

Sounds like a woman poking her nose in - ignore it! And maybe it's time your daughter got herself a little job then she can spend as much time as she likes shopping, with her own bloody cash - you are her mum and she was being a madam/drama queen - don't stand for such cheek - if she wants to be all grown-up she'll have to learn how the real world works - maybe have a coffee, order a takeaway and relax in front of the tele - good luck.

Flynnshine · 14/03/2017 17:53

I would have had to ask her if she has a habit of going up to random young girls and putting her arm around them, I'm sure the police would find that more of a worry than a mother and daughter having a spat about foundation!

Gwenhwyfar · 14/03/2017 18:03

"A teenager needs foundation?"

I did as a teenager. Had spots, dark under eye circles, etc. Didn't need it any less than I do now, to the extent that makeup is ever a need rather than a want. I didn't wear any obvious makeup to school though and I definitely bought it myself and didn't have my dm traipsing around the shops with me at 15.

Mammyashy1 · 14/03/2017 18:09

That woman needed to mind her own Buisness. On a side note I think the moment DD uttered the words piss off to you should have been the point you marched her out the shop and she had to go foundationless for a while.

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 14/03/2017 18:11

When I was 13 I was rude to my mum because we couldn't find my hair dye anywhere. She went back to the car and drove home without me, and rightly so, so YANBU. The woman should have kept her nose out and your Dd should not have been so rude. Being told to piss off isn't something to just be brushed off.

woodhill · 14/03/2017 18:16

Bonkers woman, I would have responded in the same way about her being welcome to your dd.

Your dd was being very rude and ungracious.

husbandnet · 14/03/2017 18:18

The problem is not the woman. The problem is your daughter. Never allow her to speak to you like that. You could have told her no makeup and return the hoodie. You need to get your authority back. Firmly but clearly, without histrionics. Sorry DD, you speak to me like that and you lose your privileges. Apologise and we can go back next week, but do it again and it's no nice stuff. Looks like your daughter manipulated you and that woman. And you, I'm afraid, are to blame.

Ladyrainbowsparkles · 14/03/2017 18:24

YADNBU!!! What a horrible, interfering bastard! And as for your daughter,I would have frogmarched her out of there, minus the foundation and read her the riot act in the car. Poor you, totally agree with you, I would still be fucking fuming.

MissMogwi · 14/03/2017 18:28

YANBU I would have been seething! My daughters would be taking selfies with her to remember the day I got told off!

My teens and I have some 'crossed words' when shopping sometimes, but I wouldn't be buying them anything if they swore at me! Although I'm sure you don't need us to tell you that!

humourless · 14/03/2017 18:29

I would have left immediately and not bought her a sodding thing..... but I'm unhinged.

falange · 14/03/2017 18:30

If my daughter told me to piss off at any time, even now she's an adult, everything I'd just bought would be returned and she get nothing. I didn't read the stuff about the woman, I was too angry about your vile daughter.

damewithaname · 14/03/2017 18:33

Next time some know-it-all decides to add her few cents worth, let her know that she will be paying for the bill. Quickest way to rid RUDE people!

flapjackfairy · 14/03/2017 18:38

I havent made it past fourflapjacks comment re concealer up the nose.
It has given me a right fit of the giggles!!

flapjackfairy · 14/03/2017 18:39

Foundation i mean!
Still laughing!