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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to still be really annoyed about this woman?

137 replies

Springersrock · 13/03/2017 12:02

I had to take 15 year old DD shopping yesterday. She needed a black, zip up hoodie for PE at school and some foundation. Half hour, job done....so I thought.

Trailed round the shops where she tried on and discarded god knows how many identical plain black hoodies before we ended up back where we started. My patience is now wearing thin

We then move on to the foundation. Should be easy enough, nip into Boots, except they didn't have her usual colour and brand.

We then barely look at and discard virtually every brand of foundation in the shop based on her friend has the same brand and it's rubbish/it will make her look orange, all the while bitching and moaning about rubbish shops and what a shithole we live in for forty-five-fecking minutes! Hanging on to my last shreds of patience, I suggest we go to the No7 counter and do the colour match thing.

DD - are you dumb?
Me - ...or benefit?....what did you just say?
DD - piss off.

At which point I lose my rag. I don't shout, but tell her through gritted teeth not to be so rude and that she has 5 minutes to make her mind up or I would be leaving the shop and she could buy her own "bloody foundation"

This woman then steps between us, turns her back to me and puts her arm round DD and asks if she's OK? DD shrugged her off and said yeah, she was fine.

Woman then turns to me and starts giving me a lecture about how I should be kinder to my daughter, that one day she'll leave home and I'll regret being so nasty.

I cut her off, politely and said we were fine. She then called me rude and that I should be ashamed of myself and that I was being abusive to DD. So I said, we'd been in the shop for 45 minutes, I was fed up with DD's rudeness and if she thought she could do a better job, to be my guest. Woman then huffed a bit, repeated I was rude and abusive, then walked off.

I'm still really annoyed about it. I don't think I did anything wrong, I didn't shout or rant or anything like that.

Also, DD now thinks she's the bees knees as I got told off.

OP posts:
Miserylovescompany2 · 13/03/2017 13:32

If she knows which brand and the specific colour? Personally, I'd look online in future. Boots deliver instore to collect at your own convenience.

diddl · 13/03/2017 13:43

Make-up.

My philosophy on that has always been if you are old enough to wear it you don't need a parent with you to buy it!

Hissy · 13/03/2017 13:46

You have WAY more patience than I would. I'd have been with Soon2Be, that 15yo would be trotting out to the car toute suite or would be walking home.

Don't you DARE let her off the hook!

that other woman was indeed a busy body and I would have told her clearly that being called dumb or being told to Piss Off by a teenager is NOT something I would ever allow, but for her to go ahead and call SS if she wanted to, cos quite frankly, having them take her off my hands so she can see how living in a 'shithole' really looks like might just be the right solution.

BarbarianMum · 13/03/2017 13:50

Next time sit yourself in a cafe, tell your daughter she's got an hour to find what she needs and to text you when she has Wink

TitaniasCloset · 13/03/2017 13:53

Sounds like you dealt with it well op.

I'm with barbarian next time just sod off for a lovely bit of cake and a coffee and leave dd to it.

saniner · 13/03/2017 13:56

Yes a total busy body. You were very restrained IMO to both your daughter and the stranger. Forget about the woman and you've dealt with your daughter, you sound like a really good mum actually.

Hateloggingin · 13/03/2017 13:58

Your dd tells you to piss off?? Shock

LagunaBubbles · 13/03/2017 14:03

Ive had some right barneys with my kids over the years but I really cant get over your DD telling you to piss off! Shock Has she said this before to you?

BadToTheBone · 13/03/2017 14:07

I'm 49 and if I told my mother to piss off id be quite rightly finding myself stood on my own in the middle of the shop and quite likely with a new arsehole torn for me.

Littlepiglittlepig3letmeIN · 13/03/2017 14:10

I would be more annoyed with your DD than the other woman.

I hope you didn't go ahead and buy your DD the foundation. Please say you didn't.
She's the one that caused the 'situation' that caused the nosey parker to butt in.

Thinkingofausername1 · 13/03/2017 14:12

Sounds like someone I used to know up the school. Stupid cow would tell me I needed to go on parenting courses. I would have said sorry do we know you??!!!!

Littlepiglittlepig3letmeIN · 13/03/2017 14:13

Also agree with a PP that you should give her the money and she can go and sort herself out in future on her own, without the pleasure of her DM with her paying for her to stop for coffee/lunch etc.

Sod that.
Tell the ungrateful, stroppy mare to get a part time job and buy her own foundation with her own money.

DearMrDilkington · 13/03/2017 14:14

Im gobsmacked that your dd casually told you to piss off and you still piddled about looking at foundation for her!

Spoilt spoilt spoilt!!!

BeMorePanda · 13/03/2017 14:18

My philosophy on that has always been if you are old enough to wear it you don't need a parent with you to buy it!
I like this ^

(My 2 DD's still too young for make up but this is my philosophy when the time comes)

Springersrock · 13/03/2017 14:20

Thanks!

No, she's never told me to piss off before

I should have just walked out, but by then we'd faffed about for so long I kind of reached the point of no return. I wasn't going to let a pot of foundation beat me. Mature I know

At that point, I just wanted it bought and I'd deal with her behaviour when we got out of the shop

OP posts:
LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 13/03/2017 14:21

Sorry op but I'm actually laughing at this. Stupid busy body. Ywnbu.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 13/03/2017 14:22

I bet she's called 101 Grin

SugarMiceInTheRain · 13/03/2017 14:26

If one of my children ever tells me to piss off when I'm treating them to something, it'll be the last time I buy them makeup/ whatever other treat it is. I see makeup as something they can buy themselves from their pocket money or part time job anyway. YANBU OP.

ADayAnyDay · 13/03/2017 14:45

This boils my blood!

I would have lost it at the interfering old bat at her rudeness for interfering with a mother and daughter when she has no idea what has happened before the past few minutes!

I loathe ignorant and rude people like that, I won't tolerate being spoken to like that by anyone.

Underparmummy · 13/03/2017 14:47

Your dd told you to piss off and you were being rude and abusive?!

I wouldn't have bought the foundation and dd would have been marched out of the shop and home minus foundation. I am quite strict though!

Jazzywazzydodah · 13/03/2017 14:50

How bizarre... Confused

Is it normal now for teenagers to tell their parents to 'piss off' - I'd be more annoyed at that to be honest.

GabsAlot · 13/03/2017 15:02

she told u to piss off an this random woman calle u abusive?

what is her problem

as for dd u should have just marched her back to the car

GabsAlot · 13/03/2017 15:05

and if i would have said piss off to my parents which i still in 40 years never have-id be dragged home and grounded

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/03/2017 15:17

I'm 49 and if I told my mother to piss off id be quite rightly finding myself stood on my own in the middle of the shop and quite likely with a new arsehole torn for me.

Rightly so too. Problem is, nowadays, you'd still get the same old busybody interfering telling your mum not to be so mean to you too. I think the problem now is people see snippets of what happens and put 2&2 together and come up with 9.

A friend of mine had someone ring SS on her because they saw her 'manhandling' her son. It was something like the 10th time that day he'd played up and the only 'manhandling' she'd done was remove him as safely as she could from a situation he wasn't coping with.

I've had well meaning ladies try and 'help' me when DS (AS) has been having a meltdown. I was in the middle of trying to restrain him and keep him safe - she waltzed right up and started taking his toy out his hand and everything. Despite me telling her to keep away, it's not safe and I'm coping quite fine. Some people just won't be told.

I don't have a teenager yet, I do have a preteen though. She's the same height as me so looks older than she is. The one time she kicked off. Everyone was staring and I just kept walking. The one person that did 'try and be helpful' was told in polite terms to leave me to it and DD didnt get her phone back for a week.

She hasn't done it since.

Stand your ground OP.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/03/2017 15:20

Re the swearing. It sounds like she's doing it just to get a reaction out of you.
I've found DD can do this. She knows nothing will get a reaction out of me but if I was to ever hear her swear I'd knock her into next week go batshit.

Learn to not react to it, and also not allow 45 minutes of her talking to you like that before you put your foot down.

Have a cuppa OP. Parenting is hard. Brew