To think wife is being a little bit silly?

[AmericanCreamie]

I am Irish and DW is English. Our son is 2 days old. She said we can go for a name that's Irish but works well in English too. The one we liked most was Dillon, she then goes "great, but I want it as Dylan"??? That then completely takes away the fact of it being Irish. she isn't getting it. This baby will never be named!!

Why is it classed that I'm making a lot of fuss when I say I don't want Dylan, but not the other way around?

because you don't frame it as 'I dont like the name but as 'my wife, who has just given birth, is being 'silly' to want to use another spelling' (aka very condescending approach - I know want's right type of attitude) and that 'it made me laugh (aka laugh at her) that she would like to use an irish name wo its irish spelling'

None of that is respectful of your dw.

HTH

On the great scale of life, if you both like the name and it's just the spelling in dispute, does it really matter?

If you live in Ireland spell it the typical way for there or if England spell it the typical way for there that way you avoid all the incorrect spelling folk

I can see where you're coming from but I think you are being unreasonable to call your wife (who has just given birth) 'silly'. I'm Irish married to an English guy and we wanted Irish names that would work in the UK. Boys names were harder for us than girls. Luckily we had a girl as we couldn't agree on a boys name and we went with an Irish name but slightly anglicised spelling. I think I'd prefer Dillon too but if she doesn't like it... I like some of the suggestions above including Sean, Patrick and Conor. And Ciarán.

I have an Irish name that I'm always having to correct people on, but I don't mind and I really like my name.

Dylan is a fine name and a fine spelling.

Just be a bit careful - there is not much anti Irish prejudice about but there still is some. There are surveys of what are the most common names for chief executives. You tend not to go too wrong with biblical names and Kings of England too. We went for the old testatment - they never date and will be useful if you plan a christening and need a saint's name in there and secondly my parents went for kings and queens of England (although the latter won't satisfy your Irish point).

I agree with your DW that a fairly ordinary name with an unusual spelling is a no no.

Wow!! Really, your wife just"pushed him out " and lucky for her she gets to choose the middle name. So, what did you do to get first dibs on the first name?? Provide the sperm ??
Jeez, give the poor woman a break. You sound like a bit of an arse to be honest

@AmericanCreamerie, different perhaps as my dc got their father's sur name but I do feel resentful about the way he talked down to me during the naming process. My suggestions such as Clodagh and Diarmuid were mocked and although I was the Irish one and he was/is English, I do recognise, or possibly am just sensitive too that style of getting one's own way through the medium of mocking . Carrying a baby for 9 months and giving birth is a massive toll on the body and the mind and the hormones. Honestly I think the gentlemanly thing to do would be to allow her to make the final decision. It's only spelling. You have chosen a name you both like, you're 90% of the way there. If my x hadn't fought me every inch of the way on everything he'd still be in his children's lives! sorry, that's a bit of a glum prophecy to give to a new father. I'll get my coat and go now. Good luck.

Tell her you'll only spell it

DHILLÉAN

I've made that up but it looks Irish to me!

Oh and I just had a scan through my contacts list and all the Irish Dylan's spell it with a y but I do have a Dillon surname person

If it's spelt Dillian, you get your way and in England people with think it looks oddly spelt

Or she gets her way and it's spelt Dylan. Which to Irish people will look like an odd spelling.

Your different views don't trump each other's.

Most of you are taking this way out of context. I am not laughing at the fact she doesn't like the spelling. I also was quoting the person who said "pushed a baby out" and lastly, how have I got first pick of the first name?

Calling your wife 'a little bit silly' is about as patronising as it gets.

Are you always putting her down when you disagree with her. How come her preference for a name is being silly.
How come 'pushing the baby out' gets the 'reward' of choosing the middle name - who made up that rule?

You are very dismissive of her opinions and of the fact that she has just given birth. Do you realise how much you are minimising what she has been through? I surprised she's still speaking to you.

Maybe she'll decide to call the baby 'Twat' after his dad.

OP: "will she always get final say with everything, because she pushed him out?"

Yes. That's how it works.

Jesus Christ people! Having a go at the OP for being an arse because she dared to repeat the phrase "pushing the baby out" that a (presumably) female previous poster made (with strikeouts)? Accusing him of infantilising his wife because he used the word "silly" when it is clearly meant as a light hearted thread from the word go?

FFS sake. Never see people having a go when a female poster makes a similar light hearted thread about something their DH does that is silly or X or Y or Z.

This place is getting worse, it really is.

My name is Irish and if/when I have children they will all have Irish names; There are so many beautiful ones but for boys I like Conall, Finian, Fichra and Oisín.

Oops. Erroneous and unfortunate "she" rather than "he" in the first line of my previous post.

I'll get my coat

You like a name. She likes it as well but doesn't like the spelling.

The normal reaction would be... "Oh, you don't like Eric but would be ok with Erik? Awesome. Because I really love that name."

Or maybe... "Sorry, I really don't like Dylan. Is there no way you could...? No? Ok, let's try to find an other name."

Btw... joking on the internet is a pretty difficult thing. Unless you clearly say something was meant to be a joke many people will misunderstand your intentions.

Honestly your post title got my back up too. It just sounds a bit belittling and then I read the full OP and saw that your DW had literally just had your baby. Go and chat with her rather than trying to garner opinion from the general public about whether we think she is a bit silly.

OP referred to 'pushing the baby out' as this is the expression a previous poster used.

I'd just look at other names.

How about Jude? It's not Irish, but very Catholic.

I get OP's joke about wanting an Irish name but then spelling it so that it's not an Irish name at all.

The problem is the thread title does come across as patronising, although I don't think that was the OP's intention. He's getting a bit of an unfair kicking IMO, but as it seems to be his first time here he probably doesn't have a clue what this place can be like.

BTW, I am English, DH is Irish and we managed to give our three sons Irish names that work well in the UK without too much bother.

If you were npt laughing at her for not wanting what yoou see as the 'proper' spelling and you weren't condescending towards her in this thread, the I really bloody hope that you have been better at communicating in RL than on this thread.

if you find that your dw is annoyed at you re names, maybe think about this thread and realise that maybe, just maybe you actually have been condescending etc... in RL too. And you have a lot of apologizing to do.

Your DW is already compromising by choosing an Irish name, why can't you compromise on the spelling?
I am always amazed at people with a strong regional/country identity who want to impose names from this region/country to their partner, who has nothing to do with it. Both parents have to like the name...

I didn't actually say you were making the fuss and bother as opposed to your wife - I suggested the whole argument was and yes I have an irish name for my daughter spelt as its supposed to be spelt not the american or irish language way or even english way. And even though it is a common spelling we get all sorts but she learns to live with it. Mine is a plain and simple name - or so I thought...I still get a few variants.