Hello
Your post really resonated. I can sense your desperation.
Listen. You can definitely do this. As to how - you know this really, I'm sure, but smaller portions and more of the good stuff less of the bad. Particularly avoid ready meals and too much sugar. I would avoid low fat products as they tend to be full of sugar.
Gradually you'll really start wanting more of the healthy stuff - your body will crave it.
Meal plan and prep as much of your own food as you can. Invest in some lovely containers(systema are good) for meals on the go.
I have bought a nutri bullet and am having fun with juices and smoothies.
No alcohol, or very little. Lots of water.
Make it about fulfilment and abundance not denial and punishment. You are nourishing your body with lots of good things.
As the weight comes off, do a little gentle exercise and gradually increase it. I use the pacer app as a motivator. It really helps. There are also,some great documentaries on Netflix - hungry for change is a good one.
I've lost over 20 pounds since Jan, another 20 odd to go. Down to a size 16 trousers ( stretchy material, but still!) from a size 20. No crash diets. They won't work in the long term. Slow and steady is the way to go.
Dress size is only part of it though. My skin glows, my eyes are bright and my hair is shiny. I sleep well and wake refreshed. I have lots of energy and I feel healthier than I have in a long time.
Last year I could barely get out of bed some days, so the change of eating habits has been transformational.
You can do that too.