Dinner at 9pm.

[LookAtTheFlowersKerry]

We are going out for dinner tonight as it's my sister's birthday.

The table is booked for 8.45pm. I'll be chewing my own arm off by then! We're meeting at 7.30 for drinks. So I'll be starving and probably pissed by the time we sit down to eat.

Am I just really out of touch? Is this how the world works now? Bearing in mind I'm usually in bed by ten.

Am I just an old fuddy duddy? Dsis is a hip young thing despite only being a year younger who has a vibrant social life. She says it's normal to eat that late and that I'm weird for always booking tables for 7pm ish.

Aibu?

I find that in the winter months I find I want my dinner much earlier than in the summer.

Does the amount of daylight affect appetite, do you think?

I don't understand why people like eastmidsmummy above here ^ are being so rude and nasty about people who prefer to have dinner by 6.30pm and don't want it at 9pm

While I think she was a bit forceful about it, I think her point was more about people who can't be flexible and expect other people to fit to their patterns. Like if you normally eat at 6pm, thats fine, but if someone invites you to dinner at 9 then you either go with it for once or don't go. It's not ok to complain about them wanting to eat at 9 and how wrong it is.

You sound hangry EastMidsMummy

When I worked in France and Spain we were encouraged to take a 2 hour lunch during which I'd eat a good meal, then I'd finish work at around 8-9. Get home, get dressed, relax, and dinner at 11-12pm. No breakfast except for a quick espresso. No snacks. I was at my healthiest and sharpest during that time.

I can't help but notice that the people who prefer to have dinner late in the evening, are being far more rude and obnoxious than the ones that prefer it earlier. I mean, God forbid people don't do as you do. They are obviously wrong, and probably a bit stupid. hmm

I haven't given any indication what time I eat in the evening but feel free to pretend I have.

Madamfrog eating early isn't uniquely British though - in Germany (at least the part we live in) the secondary school day is 7:30am - 12:25 - only one break at 9am when the kids often eat a sandwich. There are elective lessons some afternoons from 2-3 but some don't do them at all and most not more than once or twice per week. I work 6am-2pm, DH works 7-4 and even though he commutes over 70km it is easy for us to eat before 6pm.

The whole day in Germany seems to run earlier than the UK.

To me working til 7pm does not sound compatible with family life.

MadamFrog - schools in the UK generally start around 8.30 -8.50 am, and usually finish around 3.15 - 3.30ish.
"Work hours" are so varied it is impossible to generalise. In my City 'rush hour' seems to be between 7.30am and about 8.45 so I'd sumise from that most people start work by about 8.30, with others not starting until 9, and then in the evening the busiest part of 'rush hour' seems to be between 4 and 5.45, so again, I'd say there's a lot of people coming out of the offices and other workplaces (and I know this doesn't necessarily mean finishing work) from 4 until about 5.30.
However - I know I'll have a lot of other folk saying "nobody leaves our office before 6.30" or whatever.
Then "commute" for some might be 90mins, but for every one of those folks, someone else has a 10min journey, so it's difficult to generalise.

I can't help but notice that the people who prefer to have dinner late in the evening, are being far more rude and obnoxious than the ones that prefer it earlier. I mean, God forbid people don't do as you do. They are obviously wrong, and probably a bit stupid. hmm

I haven't given any indication what time I eat in the evening but feel free to pretend I have.

I wasn't necessarily aiming the comment at you eastmidsmummy; (it was a generalisation,) but feel free to pretend I was.

I agree with the poster limited period only. You sound angry. Why? Why does what anyone else does affect you so badly and make you so angry? If I choose to not eat dinner after 6.30pm, and not accept an invitation to dinner at 9pm, it's got sod-all to do with you, and I don't have to explain myself.

If someone asks me to dinner for 9-9.30 pm I will refuse, and that is my choice. If they are offended and huffy, (and are rude to me like you - calling me a child who needs their bed early; ) that says a lot more about them. Probably just miffed because they're not getting their own way. Now that is what you call behaving like a child.

And to theonlylivingtoy's comment; I wouldn't complain about people having dinner at 9pm, I just wouldn't go; and I wouldn't expect nasty spiteful comments about me refusing... which is clearly what some people would come out with. As I said, they are the ones behaving like children, not the ones refusing to go to dinner so late.

Going out to dinner yes 9pm is normal. Have an early tea to keep you going!

To me, you sound like the angry, inflexible one, not joining in because things aren't exactly as you'd like them.

Someone invites you out for a meal at a time you're not used to and you refuse to go (not "turn down their kind invitation", but "refuse" - yet you wouldn't even tell them why.) To me, that's passive aggressive, rude and - yes - childish. If I found out that you'd not come because the meal was at 9 and you normally ate at 7, I would feel that you really weren't very bothered by our friendship.

If someone invited me out for a meal at a time I wasn't used to, I'd almost always go along with what they wanted to do, and maybe adjust what and when I ate for the rest of the day, if I needed to. It really wouldn't make me angry. It seems like a perfectly simple, straightforward thing to do to accommodate different people's habits and preferences.

I totally agree with EastMids

9 is late for me, but would be fine for a one-off. I get in from work about 6:45 and then start cooking, so we (me and teenage children) tend to eat around 7:30 - 8.

I think the poster who talked about life stages is bang on.
As a child I ate between 6 and 7:30 when ddad got home.
As a student I tended to eat around 5-6 following lay in, late breakfast no lunch with occasional midnight snacks.
As a young professional we often eat after 8:30 sometimes as late as 10 following working late, getting home +/- after work drinks or gym.
This pattern continued when the dcs were very young eating after they were in bed.
Now the dcs are older I like to eat at a similar time as i did growing up, but certainly by 9pm as we are all up before 6 and i dont like going to bed on a full stomach.
When the dcs have gone I expect dh and i will revert to a young proffesional pattern (be nice to go out after work again).
On retirment when we can go to the gym during the day we might eat earlier again.
No way is better or worse. I dont think 9pm is riduculous especially not on a saturday, my dsis often eats after 10 mon-fri which i would struggle.with tbh.

Depends on how big the group is. I don't mind eating at 9pm if it's just me and dh or a couple of friends.

If it's a larger group, there increases the risk of Faffers who don't even look at the menu before they've had a chance to catch up with everyone, go to the toilet, nip out for a cig, have a drink....then when their attention turns to the menu they read every item carefully and offer it up for discussion.

They will have the steak, but don't want X accompaniment and want a side of onion rings but don't think they will eat a full portion of onion rings, who wants to share a side of onion rings with them? Ah that's three people, best get two sides of onion rings then. Actually, on reflection they'll have the salmon. It says seasonal veg on here, does anyone know what veg they actually serve it with? I'll go ask. Hmm, not keen on brocolli. Ok, il have the steak.

And then when the waiter arrives to take the order, they look surprised and start hemming and hawing about the merits of steak over salmon.

So the food usually arrives at some point after ten, except because there's fifteen of you by the time it's come out, yours is lukewarm. And someone's meal always gets forgotten, and arrives half an hour later than the rest so everyone else has finished whilst the poor sod has to continue on. By this point, everyone's shitfaced and by the time the bill comes out no one can remember precisely what they had to drink. Someone suggests just dividing the bill by X which is unfair to Y who only had a salad and glass of water.

This is eventually resolved by the less assertive members of the group paying more than there share, before the subjects of tips come up. By this point, you're the only table in the restaurant left and the waiters are looking decidedly angsty.

Glad that you had a nice time, Op.

It's something that I also would have thought oh no, I'll never last that long & drinks before-why??!!

Always works out OK though!

Good food, good company-can't be beaten!

Glad you had a fab night OP.

Seems like a very normal time for me if childless and eating out.