Dinner at 9pm.

[LookAtTheFlowersKerry]

We are going out for dinner tonight as it's my sister's birthday.

The table is booked for 8.45pm. I'll be chewing my own arm off by then! We're meeting at 7.30 for drinks. So I'll be starving and probably pissed by the time we sit down to eat.

Am I just really out of touch? Is this how the world works now? Bearing in mind I'm usually in bed by ten.

Am I just an old fuddy duddy? Dsis is a hip young thing despite only being a year younger who has a vibrant social life. She says it's normal to eat that late and that I'm weird for always booking tables for 7pm ish.

Aibu?

hope people don't order starters grin. Starters at 9.30pm make me particularly stabby.

Me too, Rookiemere. The number of times I've played with a starter to be polite because all I really want is my fucking main course but people have pressured me to: 'Go on, have a starter' like I'm a sad ascetic and they're doing me a favour by inviting me to live a little. If I wanted a bloody starter, I'd eat one. But I don't because I have a small appetite want to enjoy all of my lovely main course and possibly have a pudding afterwards.

DH knows this. We order something and tell the waiter that it's to share. Then we often get a slightly bigger portion and he eats nearly all of it.

BTW I don't want to be the harbinger of doom OP, but I bet you don't get to eat until at least 9.45pm.

Fuck that, Id refuse point blank to eat at that time. Just have your tea as normal and maybe order a snacky starter thing at the meal. (Personally I wouldn't order anything and just have another beer).

limitedperiodonly
These days we normally eat between 8pm and 9pm, whether in a restaurant or at home, but that's because we don't have children or an early start.

I think that's the main difference for me. Although I am in my early 50's I had children late so have 2 youngish children 10 & 11 and we have to be up at 6.30am.

When I was a kid my Dad worked 7 to 4, was home by 4.30 and my Mum had dinner on the table for 5. We always had supper too at about 9; cheese on toast or an omelette or similar.

ontop that is another life stage though! You are not in the early to bed early to rise life stage, assuming your youngest's paid commitment is not late night baby modelling work or a late shift as a Victorian child chimney sweep, and your parents certainly aren't.

It isn't that you go to bed earlier "as you get older" it's more to do with a tendency for people in their 30s and 40s to have babies/ small children/ school routine/ things revolving around the domestic for many 15 years or so (not necessarily til child is 15 but assuming a couple of kids). I've changed career largely to fit in with one parent doing before school and the other after, and that perpetuates the early to bed, early to rise cycle with a job that starts very early and finishes early.

Some people stay in one pattern all their lives, some fall into one mid life and then don't change, bit loads of people's sleeping and waking times change in either direction with life phase more than once so perhaps a teen pattern, a 20- early 30s pattern, an early 30s to late 40s pattern, a 50s and 60s pattern, a 70s to early 80s pattern, and for those who live to be very elderly something else again.

My parents are similar age to yours and don't get up til between 8am and 9am. My grandmother became almost nocturnal in her 80s and 90s and developed a taste for dodgy middle of the night TV and forgot that most of the people she interacted with wouldn't be familiar with shows aired at 3am! Obviously there are also lots and lots of elderly people who go to bed at 9pm and get up at 5am too, but they can please themselves if they are still independent.

We're the same age whatithink. I don't have kids but am trying to eat and go to bed earlier in the week because I've started a new job and the only time I have to go to the gym is at 7am. I used to go in the middle of the afternoon, which was perfect. But sadly the need to pay bills has intruded .

After work is no good because by 7pm all I want to do is watch TV or go out to dinner and then flop into bed.

There are still enough hours in the day to fit it all in but there's no shame in rearranging your schedule or admitting that you're not that interested in propping up a bar until 2am any more.

I would consider that late to eat personally.
When dh and I go out to eat, we like to eat between 5-7pm.

We always eat at 9ish! And I'm up at 6 with a 3 year old and 1 year old!
We did spend a couple of years living in Madrid though so maybe it rubbed off on me.
I am when adults say they have dinner at 5. That's closer to lunchtime for me. In fact I sometimes have my lunch at 5 to coincide with the DD's having their dinner.

Also if DH and I go out it's never until around 8.30pm, the DD's go to bed at 7.30pm ish then we have to get ready.

I think that's the main difference for me. Although I am in my early 50's I had children late so have 2 youngish children 10 & 11 and we have to be up at 6.30am

I'm up at 6 every day without fail but still can't imagine having dinner before 8pm

YANBU - I have to do careful planning supplementing to manage to hold on until 7.30. I wouldn't cope with not planning to eat until 9pm+

Ecureil why do you have your DD's on a northern European schedule and yourself on a southern European one? You must have permanent jet lag? Do you siesta when your DD's nap? Has the eldest stopped napping? Unless you nap or go to bed on a full stomach you must be burning the candle at both ends.

Your post also reminds me that for people with children this is also tied up with whether people cook two separate evening meals and feed the children separately. I think the eat with the kids and eat after the kids are in bed divide is filled with mutual incomprehension...

Not normal no and I would be very hangry

Well I'm just about ready to go. I've had some coco pops and a fortifying glass of wine. Dh has had a whole dinner at 5pm but he'll be able to eat again in a couple of hours bottomless pit of a man, and only 11st, the bastard.

I can do this.

Eldest doesn't nap, hasn't since 20 months (the exact month DD2 was born).
It's not that we consciously have different schedules, it's just how things work out for us. DH commutes to London from the midlands so it's up extremely early (and we're all light sleepers so usually wake up as he's getting ready) and isn't home until late.
Ideally we'd all eat together but DH isn't home until 8 and dinner together is the only real chance we get to catch up. When they're older I'll try and adjust it.
I go to bed at 11 ish, up at 6 which is a pretty normal amount of time in bed isn't it?

Good luck lookat

We always eat at 9pm. 8.45 for a table is fine. And yes you're an old fuddy duddy

Have a good night OP!

Ah yes but tonight I'm an old fuddy duddy in a booby dress and six inch heels.

#dontgetoutmuch

#makingthemostofit.

It's enough time in bed if you fall asleep instantly Ecureil 7 hours sleep is about right, but most people take half an hour or so to drop off... Actually when I had very small children I did fall asleep instantly because. I was so tired but simultaneously had no over sleeping worries because although the kids were early risers they wouldn't have let me fail to wake! Knowing the alarm will go off at 5am is worse different in quality than knowing a miniature person will jump on you at 5am...

People need different amounts of sleep but if I'm not drifting off to sleep by 10:30pm (get moving towards bed at 10) it's a lot harder to get up at 5am for me.

Eight hours sleep , if you're up at 6, is 10 o clock so bed around half nine/quarter to ten.

I sleep really badly 5moreminutes, I was first diagnosed with insomnia at 6 and have struggled all my life. According to my Fitbit I average 3 hours 45 mins sleep a night. But that would be the same even if I was in bed another 2 hours a night. But that's another thread! I'm used to surviving on very little sleep so it doesn't matter too much to me what time I go to bed.

YY to whoever said a two dinner day. That's what I'd do in that scenario.

Judging by the number of people (without health conditions which obviously can change things) on other threads who claim to be unable to get up when their alarm goes off and "need" to set multiple alarms etc many people on MN are probably going to bed too late to get however much sleep they need.

And poor DD1 unfortunately looks like she inherits her sleep habits from me, despite all our efforts she's never slept more than 10.5 hours in 24,even as a newborn. At 3 she's still up several times a night. DD2 on the other hand could sleep for England.