To refuse party invite because it's during naptime?

[ParsleyCake]

My two year old has a two hour nap from 12-2. He does this every day and get some upset if we are late to put him down. He'll go and bang on the bedroom door so he can get into bed and nap at 12 o clock every day.

His friend is having a birthday party in a couple of days but it starts at 12 and ends at 2 - right during his nap time. How on earth do I do this? He will meltdown majorly if we are not home during that time. He really needs his naps and doesn't take well to messing with his routine. He will most likely spend the whole party screaming if we take him.

We did a practice run today, doing a fun activity during nap time to see if the fun would distract him. We took him to soft play and almost on the dot 12 o clock he started crying and fussing.

I thought about trying to wake him earlier in the morning so that he can take his nap earlier.
It'll take us an hour to get ready and to get to the party, so if it starts at 12 we'll need to wake him from his nap at 11 to get him ready and to get there in time. To have his two hour nap then, I'll put him to down at 9am. Now he usually has 5 hours between waking up at 7 and nap time at 12, so if nap time is at 9, I would need to wake him at 4am! This is just not something I want to do!


Is it unreasonable to tell his friends mum we can't make the party because it's his nap time? We're neighbours so I don't want her to think badly of us, because to my ears it sounds like a bad excuse, but I do know almost 100% that if I take him it will be a nightmare.

[user1489188283]

How pathetic.

[user1472334322]

If you have to take a long bus journey and you know he'd be upset while at the party I'd not go. Too much hassle!
As an aside, when does he have lunch???

[Lickedthespoon]

You know when's best to cut out a nap and you know your child better than people on here - so ignore the "nap haters". If your kids happy then do what's best for them. A child still napping at 2yo is not wierd, it's still recommended up to age 3 if that's what your child is happy with. Each child is different
I'd not go. A lot of hassle faffing with taxi and cranky toddler. She should understand

[2014newme]

Decline. Your ds is too young to know he is missing a party. There will be a million more

[Butterymuffin]

user1489.. How rude!

[MrsPeelyWaly]

As an aside, when does he have lunch???

I would imagine just before he goes down for his nap or just after he gets up.

[SchnitzelVonCrumb]

bigbuttons All of my sisters 9 kids nap until 5. Me thinks your sample of 6 doesn't really count

[NewBallsPlease00]

I'm totally jealous and would stay at home to enjoy 2 hours toddler demand free!!!

[lottieandmia]

As someone's whose kids never had regular nap times, I would definitely not go in your position op, particularly as you would need a taxi.

All children are so different. My oldest two would sleep in their pushchairs but dd3 wouldn't - we'd have to go home.

[rainbowdash888]

User1489 ...
Helpful comment there. Have you got any suggestions for the op rather than being rude?

[Yika]

I definitely wouldn't go, sleep is more important.

[Stillwishihadabs]

I weaned ds off cot naptime at 18m, couldnt be doing with being stuck in from 12 everyday in the winter- he was a horror to wake up as well. But had many friends who continued to put their 2 yos down for 2 hours in the day. YANBU ds 3rd birthday party was 11-1 and loads of people left early for nap time.

[Pleasestoplickingthetv]

I wouldn't go. It won't be fun for any of you. Plenty of time for parties when he is older.
Don't lie either - just explain " DS has his nap then and he's an absolute menace without it. It wouldn't be fair on him or you guys because he would just cry the whole time and we'd end up leaving anyway"
Maybe still give a gift if you feel you want to do so.

[user1475439961]

It sounds like hard work for you both yo go to the party. I would offer to pop round another time to play & give the birthday child a small gift.

[Eminado]

With my dd1 i would decline.

My 2nd DD would power through the party

Some of the people who have kids who are not rigid nappers are being so rude. Why cant you express different opinions without being rude?

[GraceGrape]

My first DD had very structured nap times, but for one-off special occasions we would work around it by giving her a shorter nap before and one after. If I needed her to nap at a different time to usual, one of us would take her to a drive in the car as this always sent her off to sleep. O found even a short nap would help.

[GraceGrape]

Sorry, meant to say that a nap in the taxi would probably get him through but honestly, I would find having to get a taxi there more off-putting than the party being at nap time.

[Videog1rl]

Well you probably need to decline but your problem here is you knew this would be an issue when you received the invitation and should have said so straight away. They could then have taken the timing into consideration if they felt you / your child were important guests. I think you'll upset the hosts cancelling this late in the day for something which is clearly not new information. How good are you at lying?!

[witsender]

Meh, the combination of screaming 2/3 year olds, soft play and expensive transport would have me saying no anyway.

Luckily both of mine were in the sling from day 1 so even through to 3 plus could and would nap on the go in a carrier.

[SoupDragon]

In my experience working in childcare (so basing this on more than just my own DC), yes, most do sleep somewhere in the 12pm-2pm zone.

Yes, mine slept at that time in nursery.

Because that's when they put all the children down for a mass nap, not because they wanted or needed to.

[googietheegg]

I'd say no. I have the same routine and when ds naps is when I work from home. I'd not ruin that for the sake of a hassle-y party.

[NotYoda]

One of mine was like Gina Ford's Perfect Baby

The other, not so much

Preventing the one who wanted to sleep from sleeping when he wanted to (or God Forbid, waking him up) was just not worth it. Picking the older one up from school was awaful for about a year, because it always cut into the younger one's nap time. I swear the other parents thought I had a Tasmanian Devil, not a toddler

[Blondeshavemorefun]

BEEN a qualified nanny and maternity nurse 26yrs and always had children napping till least 3yr. Some I've had to wean odd 4ish as few months later going to school

Naps are good but need to be flexible and learn to sleep in buggy as well rather then be restricted every day 12-2 at home

If you could drive I would suggest leaving 1030 and he will fall alsssp in car

But using public transport and paying for taxis seems insane

[bigkidsdidit]

Both of mine napped then - one until 4.5 and the 3.5 yo still has a nap then one or two days a week.

I'd say sorry, you can't make it, but not say why. And drop a present round.

[Cosmicglitterpug]

Some passive aggressive comments here... 'Why would stay at home for a nap?' Etc.

I think midday isn't the best time for 2 year olds personally, but maybe it's the only slot she can get. Or it suits her. I would decline, given the journey you need to make to get there. See them another time with a gift. I'd have no problem with a decline for this reason, naps are sacred in this house.