To refuse party invite because it's during naptime?

[ParsleyCake]

My two year old has a two hour nap from 12-2. He does this every day and get some upset if we are late to put him down. He'll go and bang on the bedroom door so he can get into bed and nap at 12 o clock every day.

His friend is having a birthday party in a couple of days but it starts at 12 and ends at 2 - right during his nap time. How on earth do I do this? He will meltdown majorly if we are not home during that time. He really needs his naps and doesn't take well to messing with his routine. He will most likely spend the whole party screaming if we take him.

We did a practice run today, doing a fun activity during nap time to see if the fun would distract him. We took him to soft play and almost on the dot 12 o clock he started crying and fussing.

I thought about trying to wake him earlier in the morning so that he can take his nap earlier.
It'll take us an hour to get ready and to get to the party, so if it starts at 12 we'll need to wake him from his nap at 11 to get him ready and to get there in time. To have his two hour nap then, I'll put him to down at 9am. Now he usually has 5 hours between waking up at 7 and nap time at 12, so if nap time is at 9, I would need to wake him at 4am! This is just not something I want to do!


Is it unreasonable to tell his friends mum we can't make the party because it's his nap time? We're neighbours so I don't want her to think badly of us, because to my ears it sounds like a bad excuse, but I do know almost 100% that if I take him it will be a nightmare.

[Pastaagain78]

I wouldn't go, the expense of taxis, misery of soft play with an overtired child. He won't care if he goes or not. I would pop a card and gift round in advance though.

[Emeraldie]

Is it unreasonable to tell his friends mum we can't make the party because it's his nap time?

Yes IMO. You'll get much rolly eyes and sound ridiculous and precious IMO.

Sometimes our own priorities take over which is fine...but don't over share and make yourself look like a PFB loon. Just tell her you can't make it.

[Purplefrogshoes]

I wouldn't go. I wish my DS (22 months) would nap

[Enidblyton1]

Absolutely fine to decline the invite, but I wouldn't say it's because of nap time - you will sound totally ridiculous! Just say that you unfortunately have something else on.

[tovelitime]

If it were my eldest I would refuse the invitation. He had to nap in his cot between 12.30-2.30 or he would be utterly hideous. I was home every day for nearly three years with him between those hours but it was better than the alternative. My other two were more flexible so we would have accepted

[NuffSaidSam]

'Do "most toddlers" nap from 12-2? Mine didn't and I'm guessing the birthday child doesn't either.'

In my experience working in childcare (so basing this on more than just my own DC), yes, most do sleep somewhere in the 12pm-2pm zone.

Not all, obviously, but the majority.

[NorksAreMessy]

I am happy to decline ANY invitation for ANY reason.
I would definitely not go in these circumstances. The chances of him having any understanding of what he will miss are negligeable

[Collienova]

I have up trying to please other people especially when I was accused of pandering to my child and being inflexible. I KNEW that it wouldn't work and be a nightmare and it sounds like you do to. I don't see the point of going just to show that you're bot making this up. Stick to your guns and explain that the timings just don't work. How about inviting the friend over for some one-on-one time instead if you're neighbours?

[Dildals]

I would decline, mine naps at that time, that's just the way it is for a bit!

[NotYoda]

I decline too.

[NotYoda]

... I wouldn't say why though. They might think you are weird, or precious (I definitely don't think you are)

[CerealShopper]

I remember well those days! I wouldn't have gone tbh - if it didn't fit around our routine I'd just decline the invitation. There will be plenty more parties once he's older.

[TheRealPooTroll]

If you decide to go I'd keep him up as late as he can manage the night before and he'll either sleep in and have his nap in the taxi back/when he gets home or he'll be up early and will want his nap before you go.
I never let nap time stop me doing stuff.

[KatieScarlett]

Why would you make your child miserable and pay for the privilege?
Mine were rigid nappers, it doesn't last forever.

[WigglyWooWorm]

Wow I had no idea people actualky stayed in or refused invitations to partied because of naps!!

Days out to nice places, anywhere a drive away, visiting friends...any activity which would mean you don't get home for 12 or have to be out before 2. If you had a kid at school as well that really limits what you can actually do in a day. I guess sits where "stay at home mum" comes from. I use do point out I didn't stay at home!

I think any friend for mine would be miffed if I refused to go to their party due to a nap. Wow.

[mumsiedarlingrevolta]

Parties are meant to be fun....
This napping phase does not last long but while you are in it is hard to see beyond it.
You have lots of years ahead jumping through hoops for parties etc-your DC won't even know he has missed it. If you feel bad arrange a play date or outing to celebrate.
Don't get pressured to do it as may spectacularly backfire and be miserable experience.
This does not sound like fun at all....

[BumWad]

I would say no too.

We never go out at nap time either.

[NotYoda]

Wiggly

I know right? People choose to parent differently. Wow

[catkind]

My two weren't nappers at that age but it's hardly uncommon. You mess with sleep there are consequences. YANBU OP, can't see this one working for you, just say thanks but no thanks.

[catkind]

Family days out you can arrange for them to be in a pushchair when they get tired. No point trekking to a party and sleeping through it though! Only an idiot would take offense if you explained. Not that you need an explanation to decline an invitation anyway.

[TheUnicorns]

Can't you use the long bus ride to your advantage, snuggle him in at the back and he can nap on you while you travel? Get a taxi from last bus stop to the venue to avoid meltdowns on those country lanes you'd have to walk down.

[Gooseysgirl]

I would definitely decline... FWIW not a single toddler party we've ever been to has been 12-2, and we've been to loads.

[SuperBeagle]

Haven't had a child who napped beyond 12 months, but if he's out and having fun at softplay, is he even going to notice if he misses his nap?

[JugglingMuggle]

I would have absolutely declined. Naps were lovely times in our house at that age and its so short lived. And he won't know he's missed a party. And neither will the party child know or care. Enjoy your quiet time whilst he naps
But don't say you're not going because of the nap! That's not necessary. Just say so sorry but you're busy.

[allowlsthinkalot]

My first child was like this. I wouldn't have gone! With subsequent children it never happened as we couldn't just bring the others home and sit there for two hours, it wouldn't be fair.

I don't drive and I definitely wouldn't go to a party if I couldn't get there on the bus, it wouldn't even occur to me to get taxis just for a child's party.