People posting picture of their ill children

[Notsowifeymaterial]

So normally when I'm browsing on fb and see someone's posted a picture of their child on the sofa or in bed captioned aw my poorly baby 😢 I usually ignore it or if it's a friend I'll comment hope they feel better soon etc.
But yesterday someone on my friends list posted a picture of their child actually on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance captioned poor baby off to hospital. He's struggling to breathe.
I was imaging the scenario as this..
Paramedic - right ok we need to get this child to the hospital right now. Mum are you ready?
Mum - hang on can you just step back a sec whilst I take a photo.
Paramedic - umm.....
Mum - ok I'll just take one more so I can see which is best, ok got it. Hmm should I apply a filter. Which one will get me more likes do you think? shows paramedic the photos
Paramedic - um I'm sorry miss but we do really need to get to the hospital?
Mum - right of course. Let's go. Does the ambulance have wifi so I can post it on Facebook?
paramedic internally facepalms
BTW the child ended up being fine and is now home.
Aibu to think that that's just inappropriate for a mother to do?

I have just quietly unfriended someone on Facebook for this, and other reasons. Posting pictures of her baby seriously ill with meningitis, and photos literally every half hour documenting each up and down.

She has always posted numerous status' per day,of her children either playing or sitting on the settee together and, to be honest, it is very boring.

The meningitis photos made me irrationally angry, as if her children only exist through a screen (irrational, I know), even when unwell.

Her boasty comments about her daughter's school reports finished me off, and I deleted her (why do people boast about reports, when they have lots of fellow parents on FB, whose kids maybe did not get such a good report?).

I am shocked at the people that think we need permission from our children otherwise we are invading their privacy..

I make the decisions about what goes on Fb and what doesn't he is a child..So I decide.

I cannot imagine taking a photo of my DS in an ambulance but am fortunate enough to have never been in that situation to know. I did take a picture of my DS which I didn't share of my DS with a life threatening illness. So yes I decide.

Been in hospital is unlike anywhere else as others have said.

I can also add at 9 my DS did love the get well messages and made him feel cared about. As a LP actual messages of support got me through..One friend bought up tea for us the day after we got out of hospital and she said I looked like I had been run over by a train.. You really don't know how you will feel till you are in that situation. If my DS is ever admitted to hospital again what I decide to do may well be different simply because it will be a different situation.

Everyone uses FB differently. I do share my DS's achievements on FB. I am a Lp very porud of his achievements..In reality I already know no one else really cares like I do but am proud to show them off. I don't post about parents evening school reports because I consider those information between parent and teacher. We all have different idea of what is ok.

I don't really care how far anyone has ran, what they ate for breakfast but some poeple like to post I scroll past.

I have the antidote to your complaint.

leave facebook

Or is the way you use it fine? It's only other people with the issues, right?

I'm with Caz and leghoul here - whenever I have a op (7 in the past 5 years and waiting for another) I post a humerous status update that updates everyone in one go.

It's useful because if DM or a friend tells people on the grapevine things often get lost in translation and become Chinese whispers. Case in point - I told DM when I last got put on the waiting list that it was for something minor. She then mentioned it to friends and family in a way that sounded like I was going through a major procedure again like I did 5 years ago and I got a flurry of concerned messages and it was awkward to spend time putting people straight.

I realise that's about myself though and I have a choice in that. DS is getting to an age where he is asking for a Facebook account of his own (no!) and wants to post about his dinner, his new game and what he's been up to. I wonder if he'd want to post if he was ill.

Being irritated with a friend who has a seriously ill child in hospital says more about you tbh.
I agree with leghoul. I understand people's concerns regarding privacy as well but I think that applies to all photos of children, not just poorly ones. I am concerned that people require a sanitised version of life, where illness, disability and death are hidden away. Life really isn't perfect or normal for lots of people. If you don't like listening to your friends who are going through hardship, just tell them. It will leave space in their life for someone who isn't so fairweather.

Owl, it's not because their child is ill that they are irritating. Obviously, a child being ill is awful and worrying, and you just want to make it better.

Personally, I found the parent's desire to take photos of their child, despite their child being so very poorly, irritating. When someone takes pictures of their children constantly, it takes the biscuit if they can't even stop doing this when their child is seriously ill.

It was staff on the ward who first suggested I took photos of ds when he was ill. I thought they were mad at the time but I'm glad I did as they helped me a lot to deal with things

YANBU

it's horrible

I wish I had taken more photos of my DD in her last two years.
I thought she was going to get better so I waited.
Waited for what?
Now I have hardly any images of her from then. The worst but probably most impactful two years of my life.
I work with terminally and life limited children. We take LOADS of photos.

Because one day photos and memories are all those familie will have of their child.

Its nice that not everyone on this thread has to think in those terms. But plenty do. Leave them alone.
Get on with your own lives and don't post pictures of your own sick children.

The thing that strikes me about these threads is the determination on the part of the antis to be right.

Everyone is an attention seeking, they are all doing it for the wrong reading, they definitely don't care about their kids, its clearly all about them.

You definitely, clearly have no way of telling that is the case.

Though I don't do fb, I do often have these thoughts on other social media, including sometimes on MN. Perhaps not as detailed imaginings as the OP though!! The world has changed so much since I was a girl .

What MrsDV said. If you dont like it, unfollow or unfriend. But stop trying to make out the parent is wrong and your are soo fucking right and morally superior to justify your shitty judgemental attitude. She is just doing things differently and if it works for her then its none of your business.

Worra I'm really glad I didn't grow up in a social media/mobile phone era. This, in spades.

MrsDV Surely there is a difference between taking photos, and sharing those images, which is what I think people are objecting to? I have a polaroid of ds on his first day of existence where he is in SCBU, cannulas and monitors all over him, and then I look at the strapping lad (man now, I suppose) he has become, and I count my blessings. FB wasn't around when he was born in 95, but I wouldn't have shared the image then, and I certainly won't now.

I think it's also a privacy issue. Will the parents get those images taken down when the child is older and objects to them?

Because one day photos and memories are all those familie will have of their child.
Nothing wrong with taking lots and lots of photos.
Nobody is disputing that.
I lost a family member last summer and I regret not taking more photos. You always think 'later' and then it can be too late.

It's the sharing of those photos on the internet and that the children haven't asked to have their images shared that leaves people uneasy.
And not everybody has their privacy settings to close family and close friends.
Some people have over a 1000 'friends'

That sounds very much like "sure take all the photos you like of your sickly kids, but we don't want to see them".

Things change, it is perfectly normal now to have pictures of your children on FB, just as it used to be normal to have them in albums or on your walls to show others.
Whether you like it or not that is just the way it is, and there is no reason to hide away some children while showing off others.

I think parents of sick children should do whatever they need to, in order to get through their ordeal.
I'm just thankful I do not have to walk in their shoes. If posting for support or to share information helps them in any way, more power to them.

I have posted pictures of my daughter in a hospital gown, on her way to surgery.

She has CP and was going for her first surgical procedure. She is a very brave little animal but was being particularly do that day, and I wanted my FB friends, who are generally people that love her, to see how amazing she was being so they could share that pride.

I have a friend who posts lots of pictures of her children in hospital. They have life limiting genetic conditions, inpatient stats are a way of life and it's a way of communicating with people who support them as a family. Also, as she points out, soon photos are all she will have - if she didn't photograph them in hospital she, and their wider circle, would have previous few pictures to remember them by.

All that is a long winded way of saying everyone's circumstances are different and you have no way of knowing what they are, so MYOB really.

Will the parents get those images taken down when the child is older and objects to them?

Given the nature of my post, no, they won't.

little just as you have the right to do what you want to with photos of your loved ones, so do the parents of sick and deceased children.

They get to make the same decisions as anyone else based on what they think is right.

As Welsh says, this is normal , every day stuff for a lot of families. Why should the censor it because it makes some people feel 'uneasy'?

Are those who are against photos of children when ill being posted online against all photos of children then? Or are you ok with the "cheery" parts of life being posted?

((MrsDV))

Unable to breathe?
In the ambulance?

focus on your child - not your social media profile

Actually, you should focus on keeping out of the way of the paramedics who are focussing on your child.

That was meant to be a bold hug.

This is my pet hate! Seriously why? So attention seeking! I also have a friend who takes pics of her kids absolutely everywhere including dentist and doctor waiting rooms! Madness

Btw I'm not against it. Just find it annoying lol!