Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Work forgot my birthday

120 replies

Skyrabbit · 10/03/2017 13:06

I realise this is completely a non-problem!

None of my work colleagues have remembered it's my birthday.

The standard 'thing' here on a birthday is that everyone signs a joint card, and there's a whip round, and everybody goes for lunch/has cake.

Nobody has remembered. Nobody. I've been here 6 years ffs. All the birthdays are in the company diary.

I'm not a special snowflake who wanted a massive hoopla for 'My Special Day' - just a little disappointed - AIBU??

OP posts:

winobaglady · 12/03/2017 21:37

Bake them choco-lax cakes. They won't forget again.

But pretty crappy of them to forget.

Happy Birthday!

daisychain01 · 12/03/2017 21:39

I think it's a really practical idea for the person who's birthday it is to bring in the cake. Nobody forgets and there no cliquey Birthday-Clubbiness about it.

iMogster · 12/03/2017 21:59

At my last place of work, I didn't get anything on my birthday the first year as I'd only been there a few weeks. I was fine with that. But the year after, I had been putting in for everyone else and now it was my turn! I brought in cakes for everyone and there was no card or pressie.
The guy who normally organizes it says sorry but this month is our busy period of the year and so no one had time to do it. He hadn't forgotten. I pointed out that my birthday will fall at the same time every year, so does that mean I will never get anything? I was prepared to just opt out, as some do. Soon after, another 2 people joined the team, both with a birthday just a couple of days from mine. We agreed we would do collection during the busy time and I celebrated every year until I left there.
My DH opts out at his work and always takes his birthday off work.

billybear · 12/03/2017 22:00

happened to me few years ago, no one said a thing all day it was mentions few weeks earlier, then nothing, i had the period from hell at work felt terrible, at end of day boss said id been quite was i ill or something i said no just felt rough womans stuff. he told me to cheer up i felt like kicking him , that night i had a text on my mobile from one workmate saying wasnt my birthday coming up soon when was it i wrote back yesterday, like one minute later my mobile was red hot with sorry etc, next day at work large bottle tia marie,big bunch flowers plus the usual whip round money ,hope they feel bad soon for forgetting yours xx

Greyhound81 · 12/03/2017 22:23

YANBU

I used to organise all the office collections and organise all Christmas dos etc and then when it was my big birthday no one bothered - well as I was leaving for the day I said something about what I was doing on my day off when asked and it clicked and they all looked slightly embarrassed and I think one of them ran off to get me a card and managed to get about three people to sign it.

It was all made slightly worse by a big collection being done the same week for a man at work whose wife was about to have a baby - he had spoken to me about twice (diff department) and none of us had met his wife. She got a massive collection and I had nothing and had worked there (really bloody hard!) for ten years and put in so much for everyone else. Most of Mumsnet will tell you it's just a Birthday and grow up etc but I cried - it made me feel really undervalued and I was having a bit of a crap time health wise etc so I just thought it showed how much they all thought of me.

Never did another collection and was very fussy about which ones I put into. I try to avoid getting involved in them now - they're always a pita - same as Secret Santa - I always buy something really thoughtful and then get something awful in return 😬

Take great pleasure in seeing them squirm when you drop it into conversation and I def wouldn't give to the next one - just say you didn't think you were doing them anymore.

2ndSopranos · 12/03/2017 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Masketti · 12/03/2017 22:46

They completely forgot my 30th at work when only a few months earlier we'd had a whole desk decorating session for someone else's 30th. And recently there's been a desk decorating thing for another chap's 30th.

And I got nothing for my maternity leave.

Bollocks to them. People get my signature in a card and nowt else. Been there 7 years can't wait to leave!

hellokittymania · 12/03/2017 23:00

Happy happy birthday and yes that is really rubbish .

Littlepond · 13/03/2017 07:01

I was the weirdo n my last place of work, never included in birthdays (despite other people getting collections and gifts, one time there was even a collection for a colleagues son's birthday!!)

When I left they did the customary whip round and a team of over 30 people produced £23. My only friend had put in a fiver. gosh I was so glad to leave that toxic workplace!

SoTheySentMeA · 13/03/2017 08:16

I Left my old office recently. Friday was my last day. Worked there 10 years. They didn't even do me a card. Never mind leaving do and whip round, not even a card.

daisychain01 · 13/03/2017 12:58

SoTheySentMeA its really hurtful, people are very thoughtless.

🍩🍫🍬 have some goodies on me

Randomer234 · 13/03/2017 13:55

I'd be pissed off too! I hope you had a lovely birthday despite being forgotten. I left my job a few months ago been there 9 years and another colleague left a couple of weeks earlier his was marked with a night out and lots of prezzies and a card. I had a card off 2 of my close friends from there and some flowers however no1 else bothered and said they didn't know a card was going around (my 2 friend colleagues called them out saying they had asked them a few times and told them where the card had been left) they went very red faced and just said 'oh' glad I've left to be honest. 2nd sopranos have you had anything for your birthday today Happy birthday to you too! 🍷🥂🍰🎉🎁

heron98 · 13/03/2017 14:09

Meh. The same thing happened to me. I didn't really care. My birthday is not exactly the highlight of their lives so I wouldn't expect them to remember.

OOAOML · 13/03/2017 15:10

I don't think the issue is whether people are keen to have their birthday noted/celebrated - but if the office culture is to make a big deal of birthdays (and I couldn't be doing with the set-up described) then it is incredibly nasty to miss one person out. If you're going to be rigid about it, with set amounts and behaviours, then make sure you capture everyone.

2ndSopranos · 13/03/2017 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cuppateamalady · 13/03/2017 15:21

Oh OP that's awful :( It's happened to me too in more than one workplace too, where I've felt a bit peeved that I put in for everyone else's collection and nothing received for my birthday. It's not about the ££ either, as I am not that shallow and wouldn't miss out someone because they may miss me out - tit for tat sort of feeling - but it is nice to be recognised. My most recent workplace, been there 3 years, they forgot it was my 30th, but then I got a card with £45 in the next day with lots of hugs and apologies, which I was very grateful for but didn't expect it because I always felt like I was the 'odd one out' at work and didn't fit in with the clique of the place.

That being said, my family are like this. I can count on one hand how many birthday gifts I've received off my parents in 32 years, yet a gift for DM is always expected and we're complained about if we haven't found her something suitable or given her cash............. I can't flaming win, but then that's another whole DM thread.

Happy Birthday OP

OOAOML · 13/03/2017 15:24

My parents (well, my mum really because she does present stuff) stopped giving my sister and I presents a while back but never said she was doing this. We just got cards. Then I randomly got a present for my 40th, but a few years later my sister didn't for her 50th. It isn't the lack of present that bothers us (it was generally a small voucher) it is just weird that she stopped and didn't say anything. And after several years it has become to awkward to say 'are we not doing presents any more?'.

2ndSopranos · 13/03/2017 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FixItUpChappie · 13/03/2017 15:39

I suppose you are not being unreasonable because it's a set thing your office does but....god I wish my office would do away with the whole thing. The constant stream of contribution envelopes requiring handy cash - annoying. The lack of ability to opt out - annoying. The expectation falling on supervisors when no one else steps up - annoying. It's not fucking social club it's work - who on earth really cares who's birthday it is? If it's a close work mate take them out for lunch. I may be unsociable but the forced celebration is a pain IMO

whirlygirly · 15/03/2017 22:54

Today I've contributed to 3 separate collections. The tenner in my purse completely gone. It's a bloody drain.

Yanbu though to feel peeved in your situation. I so wish we could just do away with these things and do cards only.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread