Work forgot my birthday

[Skyrabbit]

I realise this is completely a non-problem!

None of my work colleagues have remembered it's my birthday.

The standard 'thing' here on a birthday is that everyone signs a joint card, and there's a whip round, and everybody goes for lunch/has cake.

Nobody has remembered. Nobody. I've been here 6 years ffs. All the birthdays are in the company diary.

I'm not a special snowflake who wanted a massive hoopla for 'My Special Day' - just a little disappointed - AIBU??

[Hersetta427]

I am sorry but I think once you are an adult that unless its a 'big' birthday then they really are irrelevant and best left to kids.

Think you need to get a thicker skin.

[UrethaFranklin]

Ah, see I would count 30/40/50 as significant...

Never mind, its rude of her colleagues no matter how old the OP is!

[golfbuggy]

Well if it's the "done thing" why on early didn't you pipe up earlier and make a point about where you were all going for lunch????!

Chances are everyone would have looked terribly guilty and rushed around and sorted something out for you.

[SapphireStrange]

That's a bit shit if it's in the calendar!

Take yourself for a posh coffee and cake instead. Fuck em. Happy birthday!

[RedAndYellowPeppers]

I would agree that this is likely to be the symptom of something bigger.
You are saying that are isolated in that office. Why is that?

[TheNaze73]

Semi-significant birthdays?? I really have heard it all now.

Op, happy birthday

[Leopard12]

I had this too, I was away from my team the week leading upto my 21St on then came back the day after, in my politeness and wanting to avoid awkwardness I even lied when asked about what I was doing the weekend after as it was a surprise birthday trip to Paris and I just went 'not much you?' as I was leaving soon anyway, I worked there for 13months before leaving without having a birthday...

[Teatowelfairy]

It's a bit shit considering they seem to celebrate other birthday's but hopefully it's been unintentionally overlooked and not a deliberate snub. I'd probably start loudly asking everyone what they have planned for this weekend then tell them I've got x planned since as it's my birthday. Happy birthday

[RedAndYellowPeppers]

The Issue is clearly that people have forgotten your b'day when

• it's in the diary
  
• they are talking about organising plenty of things for someone else just a few days later
  
• it's the norm for peel in that office to do something for the person b'day.
  

I'm wondering if posters have actually read the OP as it is very clear that it's not a 'special snowflake' issue but more of a 'why am I ostracised/ignored by the other people in my team' type of issue.

[Cloudyapples]

Is it today? If I was you, near the end of he working day I'd ask a few colleagues what there plans are for their evenings, when they ask you in return say 'ooh well as it's my bday my dp/family/friends are taking me for a big slap up meal' really go for it and then maybe they'll realise and feel bad/do something tomorrow? Also if it is today - it's not the end of the day yet! They could still have something planned for later :)

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I would count 18, 21, 30, 40, 50 & 60 as significant birthdays and anything ending in a 5 as "semi-significant" FWIW. Not that it matters.

It's not really about an adult being precious because nobody made a fuss of their birthday - it's about being the only birthday in the office that everybody either forgot or ignored.

I can completely understand why that would sting a bit.

[Mrsglitterfairy]

Aw no you're not bu, that's rubbish. I was part of a birthday etc club on my old team and this year we had 2 collections in January. Although I was then on a new team I was asked if I wanted to stay in the club and I did as my new team didn't have one. So I put in each collection then at the end of January, that team was disbanded so there was suddenly no club. My birthday was at the start of February and i didn't even get so much as a card from them. So I was a bit pissed off too. Although one of the girls who I'm pretty good friends with did get me a card and some nice presents just from her so that was lovely.

[MaisieDotes]

Happy birthday OP!

That's crap. Go out and get a cake and send round an email saying you're having cake at 3pm FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!

My mum's family forgot her 16th birthday. She thought they were pretending and there would be a surprise party later, but there wasn't

[TinyTear]

i know the feeling. my boss was on holiday for my 40th so no one said anything... i cried in the toilets but also was a bit emotional with my daughter in hospital and had gone to work that day for a bit of normality and cake while she stayed with daddy...

no cake no nothing...

[Skyrabbit]

Ooh I'm really not being precious about this - I'm not a fan of birthdays and fuss etc as a rule. Left to my own devices I'd pretend it wasn't happening.
I'm more peeved because I'm the only one this has happened to, and that the rest of the office make a fuss about birthdays. Usually!

Hadn't realised the 'semi-significant' birthday was a thing! I just meant it ends in 5. Like Santas if it ends in 0 it's s significant, if a 5, semi. No rhyme or reason to it!

[wrenika]

In our office, we bring in cake cake for the team when its our own birthday. Means nobody forgets, and the prompting of a cake appearing lets everyone say happy birthday.

[kath6144]

That sounds awful Op, but hope you have a nice birthday anyway. 🎂🍾🎉

Do consider not giving to other collections and/or saying something to make them realise they forgot.

It was mine earlier in the week, around 6 different friends didnt bother sending a card. These are people I have known for years, the longest 25yrs, all of them I buy and send a nice card to. Even a text would have been nice.

One of them I also exchange presents with. She did text last night to say Sorry, forgot. I have known her over 25yrs and she forgets all our birthdays (we buy for each others DC too) despite my DSs birthday being the day after her eldests!!!

Fortunately my work doesnt do anything for birthdays (engineering, primarily men) although I did get wished Happy birthday the day after by one of the other ladies. Not sure if she picked it up fom Facebook, or from another friend leaving a card on my desk.

[sunflower2008]

Just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday! YNBU x

[Kiroro]

I think that is upsetting sine work does a ig (strangely big!) effort for everyone elses birth day.

At my work the birthday person brings in a cake. That way you only have to remember once a year (on your birthday) but you get to eat cake 40 days a year (40 people in team).

[KitKat1985]

It's a bit shit that no-one has remembered when it's in the company diary, but I'm guessing no-one has checked the diary recently. As they are work colleagues and not friends / family I wouldn't take it too much to heart. Subtly mention later that you're going to treat yourself later / this weekend for your birthday. Hopefully they feel suitably ashamed when they realise later and get you a belated card.

I have to say I'm grateful we don't 'do' birthdays in my workplace (unless it's a very significant one) as we have a team of about 40 and the collections etc would just be never-ending.

[HouseworkIsASin10]

Next time they ask you to contribute for a birthday, just say 'Oh, I assumed we weren't doing collections anymore?'

Let the penny drop. But no way would I carry on participating in the 'if your face fits' birthday club.

[Aeroflotgirl]

That is really hurtful, I would not be able not to say anything. Or oh its my birthday today, I am going out in the evening to celebrate or something. think of all the money you will save, not contributing to people's collections. If asked, I would say, well nobody remembered my birthday.

[Iris65]

Yes. I'm the weird one too. Birthdays ignored and even when I was off ill for a long period I did not get the customary card and flowers. We have a staff fund which everyone contributes to (mandatory) and pays for flowers and cards for weddings, births, deaths, retirements and leavers.
I try and get past it by reminding myself how trivial it is in the grand scheme.
Anyway, happy birthday!

[PoptartPoptart]

It is annoying (and a bit hurtful) when you dutifully sign cards and contribute to whip rounds for other people and it's not recipeocated. I feel for you op

[Twistmeandturnme]

Are you usually the one who organises the card OP? Basically they presume that all Birthdays are publicised by you?
otherwise I can't understand why it happened.