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Original poster

To not know what a glory hole is at age 40???

230 replies

justcurious40 · 09/03/2017 22:39

My DH brought this clip to my attention earlier:

(about 3 minutes in)

And was shocked that, at 40 years old, I had no idea what a "glory hole" is. I thought he was BU, but everyone else in the programme had hysterics and all knew what it was, so am I just stupidly naive/ignorant?

OP posts:
Mermaidinthesea · 10/03/2017 09:21

Well I had NO IDEA that's what a glory hole was and I'm 55. i thought it was a messy shed Blush thank goodness I never said it in public.

watermelongun · 10/03/2017 09:22

Where have some of you lot BEEN?! How do you avoid knowing this stuff? I feel really filthy and debauched now!

Ratonastick · 10/03/2017 09:23

Am blushing at the recollection of showing 20somethings round my old house and describing the small bedroom as "a bit of a glory hole". They must have been pissing themselves, maybe they bought the house to save me the embarrassment!

On a more practical note, having discovered the alternative, can I ask about practicalities? Most partitions between loos are quite thick, even board ones are maybe an inch thick. Does the hand go through the hole to reach the knackers or do the knackers come through the hole to reach the (struggling massively with my vocabulary now) orifice? And what about splinters? Surely glory hole drillers don't go out equipped with fine grade sandpaper just in case?

Every day is a school day.

Squills · 10/03/2017 09:24

The glory hole has existed since victorian times.
The little bit under the stairs was where you'd hide for hanky panky and was used for all manner of seedy sexual acts. Sardines anyone?
Victorian houses have glory holes, because the houses were dens of iniquity, especially the bigger ones

Why would on earth you hide in a cupboard for 'hanky panky' !

A gloryhole obviously has two meanings (or more) meanings! The cupboard under the stairs is the one for miscellaneous junk - the other has nothing to do with it 🙄

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/03/2017 09:25

Well there's annoying - another old saying has been perverted to mean something entirely different and lewd! Shock

Yes, to me as well, a glory hole is the messy cupboard, usually under the stairs.

Can't be doing with the nicking of perfectly reasonable phrases to mean something disgusting.

HRHCocoa · 10/03/2017 09:25

My DH is in his 50s and he quite genuinely and innocently (no, really) calls taking the dog for a walk; 'going dogging'.

Grin
watermelongun · 10/03/2017 09:28

Going dogging HRH Grin

Doyouwantabrew · 10/03/2017 09:28

Omg I am 50 and have no idea of any of these terms. I call my wardrobe the glory hole. I thought fluffing was kissing. Blush

TiggyD · 10/03/2017 09:29

@Ratonastick

The winkie comes through the hole to a mouth. The knackers stay on their own side. Splinters are a problem so both parties have to wear hi-vis tabards.

PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus · 10/03/2017 09:31

The winkie comes through the hole to a mouth. The knackers stay on their own side. Splinters are a problem so both parties have to wear hi-vis tabards.

I genuinely just burst out laughing at "hi-vis tabards". Grin

Ratonastick · 10/03/2017 09:32

But, but, but, I still don't get wall thickness? I am a woman of the world and I know roughly how big the average winkie is and anything more than plywood is surely going to impede matters?

Though I can quite see the need for hi vis😆😆

watermelongun · 10/03/2017 09:33

Get thee all to urban dictionary! It's an education. Embrace you inner deviant!

Batteriesallgone · 10/03/2017 09:35

Chocolate starfish is an anus right? Or is that one I don't know?

I get annoyed with people get snurky about pearl necklaces. There is no other way to describe that piece of jewellery surely? I mean it's a bit silly to get all 'arf arf' about it when someone like your mum is clearly talking about jewellery (bitter because my wedding pearl necklace came in for lots of jokes and it was beautiful, not a silly joke)

Batteriesallgone · 10/03/2017 09:37

Rat most of the nerves are in the head of the penis. And not many people can get the whole shaft of a penis in their mouth anyway (can they?)

LakieLady · 10/03/2017 09:38

Despite having once worked on a trial where the alleged offence involved the use of a "glory hole", I had no idea they were called that.

The accused's defence was that his cock was too small to receive a BJ through a 4" partition (the thickness of the partition had been established by asking the police witness in cross examination). When the following exchange took place:

Defence counsel: Mr Smith, would you mind telling the court how big your penis is?

Mr S: Well, it's nothing to write home about, Sir. Maybe 5" on a good day

everyone in the room, including the judge, was shaking with silent laughter.

He got off, anyway. Possibly in both senses.

Doyouwantabrew · 10/03/2017 09:39

Chocolate starfish!!! Yeuk that's disgusting.

How do jackets stop splinters why would an absolute stranger do that with another person in s toilet? Is it for money?

God I am old.

Kalinka16 · 10/03/2017 09:46

Well thanks everyone for enriching my vocabulary..!! I had to ask DH what it was, and then wondered how he knows all these terms Hmm

HRHCocoa · 10/03/2017 09:49

That is so funny Lakie!

Possibly the only time a man is insistent that his penis is much smaller than most!

Applebite · 10/03/2017 09:52

this is reminding me of the bathroom scene in "the sweetest thing", where Christina applegate asks Cameron diaz how on earth she could have had no idea what a glory hole was.

my father insists on referring to the cupboard under the stairs as a glory hole. and he refers to motorway service stations as "trannies". i'm sure he knows. beady eyes

shovetheholly · 10/03/2017 09:54

My DH also thinks that "glory hole" means a full cupboard. Which made for an interesting conversation with my parents when he described our shed as one - my parents were Shock but too polite to say anything!! (He still doesn't know what it means).

alreadytaken · 10/03/2017 09:59

mumsnet often extends my education, sometimes I wish it hadnt. It does mean I can explain some of Russell Howard's jokes to my husband.

If you need porn for a good sex life you're doing it wrong.

winewolfhowls · 10/03/2017 10:15

What about height tho? If one guy was really tall and the one on the other side was really small? are there holes of various heights and you try a few to get best fit? You can get folding stools in b and q, are things like that used because men's loos are not exactly clean if you needed to kneel, and nobody likes a crick in the neck. This is very interesting, now I think about it I don't think I've ever been in a men's toilet to see

PageNowFoundFileUnderSpartacus · 10/03/2017 10:24

You've got to admire the preparation that goes into it, haven't you? "Right, just off for an anonymous BJ. Got my keys, phone, cash, hi-vis tabard, folding stool, tape measure, fine grade sandpaper...all set."

Craiconwithit · 10/03/2017 10:31

Nope, a glory hole will always be a cupboard under the stairs, where you shove your junk. (!)
On a related matter, my 7yr DS started talking about golden showers last night and I asked him what it meant and he referenced something in the computer game, Terraria, that has taken over from Minecraft as his favourite game.
Now I'm worried that he's learnt some porn slang or is there really something completely innocent called golden showers in this game??

HRHCocoa · 10/03/2017 10:34

wine one of my cousins was arrested for cottaging. I'll ask him what the procedure is.

[actually, I probably won't. But I'm tempted]