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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is odd

103 replies

User500 · 09/03/2017 21:51

I've posted about this before but these been futher developments. Dd had been sharing a tutor with a very overbearing girl who the time she interrupted said that he took it as a given that if a student needed him while he was with another student that he would talk to them. When something had happened with my dd though he told her I can't just drop everything I've got other stuff to do when he was with this girl. Dd had been arguing with him a lot at that time. When told he wouldn't be able to keep both students he said I won't choose between them despite him having my dd first. He's now taking the other girl out weekly and ignoring my dd. Surely there is something odd going on between the two? The girl has described him as her kidred sprit and boasted to my dd he likes her more. Surely this is a safeguarding issue

OP posts:
Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:50

Attached to my son's school is a college. They have purpose built flats, to help students when they reach 18 to learn to live more independently. They have care workers staying there with them.

You have no idea, this girl might have something similar. You have no idea of what kind of a care package this girl has.

College have told you there are no safeguarding issues.

sillygoof · 10/03/2017 12:51

You seem to be insinuating that there's more to the relationship. Is that it?

I think a PP has already asked - what do you want from the thread? Advice? If you want someone to tell you that the relationship is inappropriate, we can't - we don't know the full facts, because you don't either.

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:52

Your dd has SEN too, if other girl is being nasty. Tell the college and sort it out.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:54

Well he promised my daughter he would still see both of them which I thought was fair enough but he's ignoring her and taking the other one out hence wise she is upset and angry

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 12:55

Is your daughter entitled to support that she's not getting?

If so that is what you should be focussing on. The other girl is totally irrelevant.

TheStoic · 10/03/2017 12:56

Ok you obviously don't want to answer anybody's questions.

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 12:58

It's hard to understand exactly what you want here, OP. Being very frank, you sound a little obsessed. I may be missing something about the situation and your own circumstances, but do try to let this one go.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 10/03/2017 12:59

I don't understand, do you want this man to take your DD out as well?

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 13:01

Why would you want a man who you suspect is grooming the other girl to take your dd out too. Why would you want your dd to go out with a girl who wishes her dead Confused

It seems to be you just think your dd is missing out and you are putting 2 and 2 together and making 5.

If you feel your dd is entitled to and needs a support worker go through the proper channels

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 10/03/2017 13:01

I'm beggining to think that the OP is the DD....

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 10/03/2017 13:03

Do you know for a fact that the tutor is taking the other girl out? Or do you just know what the other girl has told your dd?

Any concerns speak to the college.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 13:06

It's what the girl has told my dd.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 13:06

Could you answer my question?

Is your daughter not getting support she is entitled to?

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 13:08

Forget the tutor and the other girl and focus on what your dd needs.

If girl is being nasty, speak to college and sort it out.

If your dd needs a support worker to help her, find out how to go about it.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 13:10

Dd has her own support worker the same as the other girl

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 13:12

Do you have any concerns that your daughter isn't getting the support she should be?

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 13:12

I'm finding it increasing difficult to understand what the problem actually is

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 10/03/2017 13:15

So it could be utter bollocks then! The other girl could be lying.

PurpleDaisies and Userone1 have asked reasonable questions

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 13:19

Depending on the difficulties, it's a support workers job to support at home and in the community with things such as daily living, travel, social and leisure activities etc.

You original said it was college tutor.

So this tutor isn't actually a college tutor, he is a support worker?

PatriciaHolm · 10/03/2017 13:33

I'm beggining to think that the OP is the DD....

So am I.

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 13:41

SEN and disabilities is a subject close to my heart. I'm trying to understand what the problem actually is. I would hate to think that someone vulnerable was being taken advantage of. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

Tobuyornot99 · 10/03/2017 13:44

OP do you have support IRL? Can you speak to anyone to help you understand this situation, as you seem to be struggling to understand what's going on?

SookiesSocks · 10/03/2017 13:49

OP in the nicest way I think you need some support in real life.

It is clear this thread is going the same as the other and nobody agrees with you.

Do you understand that?

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 14:00

It's hard to know whether I agree or not, as I've not been able to understand the situation!

Gillian1980 · 10/03/2017 14:10

If you genuinely feel you have safeguarding concerns then contact the local Adult Safeguarding Board - they will look into it and consider whether there are safeguarding concerns or not.

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