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Original poster

To think this is odd

103 replies

User500 · 09/03/2017 21:51

I've posted about this before but these been futher developments. Dd had been sharing a tutor with a very overbearing girl who the time she interrupted said that he took it as a given that if a student needed him while he was with another student that he would talk to them. When something had happened with my dd though he told her I can't just drop everything I've got other stuff to do when he was with this girl. Dd had been arguing with him a lot at that time. When told he wouldn't be able to keep both students he said I won't choose between them despite him having my dd first. He's now taking the other girl out weekly and ignoring my dd. Surely there is something odd going on between the two? The girl has described him as her kidred sprit and boasted to my dd he likes her more. Surely this is a safeguarding issue

OP posts:
Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:27

I think it's odd that an 18 year old is calling a middle aged men her kindred spirit

OP posts:
TheStoic · 10/03/2017 12:30

What do you want from these threads? Are you able to answer that?

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:31

Story so far both girls were sharing a tutor, it wasn't working out for whatever reason. HT told you he had stopped tutoring both girls. However he has continued to tutor other girl (I assume that's what you mean by 'take out'). Other girl is being mean to your dd about the tutor. Does that sound about right??

Maybe HT decided other girl still needs the tutor?

If your dd still needs a tutor, speak to school about it?

If other girl is saying inappropriate things to your dd speak to school about it?

I'm failing to see where safeguarding concerns are?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 10/03/2017 12:32

I think it's odd that an 18 year old is caling a middle aged men her kindred spirit

Well we think it's odd that you are so obsessed by this! When I was about 13 I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was my soulmate, so what?! Who exactly is she hurting?

If they are fighting over this poor bloke because they both and you fancy him then you should be encouraging your DD to shrug it off and forget about it, not making good it into a massive deal like you are now.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:32

The girl has another tutor but is still seeing this man and picking on my daughter

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 10/03/2017 12:34

Jesus, you really are obsessed with this girl aren't you

Teach your choice resilience to ignore her, you will do her no favours in life if you react like this every time she has a falling out etc!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 10/03/2017 12:34

child,not choice

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:34

"I think it's odd that an 18 year old is calling a middle aged men her kindred spirit"

The girl in question has SEN, maybe her understanding and use of language is a bit skewed.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:35

I think you are all missing the point that this girl is extremely nasty to my child

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 12:35

But that's not a safeguarding issue. Confused

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:37

Children with SEN may need to see several different people, for various reasons.

If she is picking on your dd, speak to college about it.

TheStoic · 10/03/2017 12:37

We understand that the girl is being nasty to your daughter.

What are you going to do about the situation?

Birdsgottaf1y · 10/03/2017 12:37

Your concern should be working with your DD so she can learn to ignore the other girl. But also, as a life skill, to not believe what is said.

There may be a reason why the he is still a Support Worker to the other girl, that's not your business.

I've always answered on your other threads and I've always said that not concentrating on your DDs issues and stonewalling anything else, is not doing your DD any favours.

It was never a competition between them for his attention, he was a paid worker.

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:38

I don't think I have missed the point, I've said several times speak to school about it.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:39

He's not her support worker he's supporting her behind the head teachers back

OP posts:
Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:40

The safe guarding issues is the girls obsession with being like more than more daughter

OP posts:
Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:41

He supports her in college without the HT knowing about it. how do you know this?

PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 12:42

The safe guarding issues is the girls obsession with being like more than more daughter

I don't understand what you mean by this.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:43

The girl has told my dd no he takes her out for meals and coffee

OP posts:
iklboo · 10/03/2017 12:44

The other girl might not be telling the truth. I knew a girl who told stories about meeting teachers for drinks & coffees, buying her presents. There wasn't a single word of truth in it.

PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 12:45

And you've already reported this to the college.

Clearly your daughter and this other student don't get along. You're best talking to your daughter about avoiding and ignoring her.

Userone1 · 10/03/2017 12:46

Without the college or her parents knowing about this?

What kind of a tutor is he? Some tutors are there to help support independent living.

Original poster
user500 · 10/03/2017 12:46

I have told her to ignore her

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 12:47

I have told her to ignore her

Is she ignoring her?

PurpleDaisies · 10/03/2017 12:49

So correct me if I'm wrong...

You've told the college about the situation with the tutor, they've investigated and it's been found to be fine.

You've told your daughter to ignore the girl being nasty to her.

What else do you think should be fine?