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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Neighthours and dropped kerb

377 replies

Mummysboy2014 · 08/03/2017 13:09

Right so we own a bourse with a dropped kerb directly outside our house. Next door do not have a dropped kerb they have a big tree at the end of their driveway assuming they can't get permission for a dropped kerb. Anyway so we have 2 cars next door has one. They use our dropped kerb to access their driveway as they wouldn't be able to access it otherwise. Last night my partners car was parked on our drive, I parked on our dropped kerb and was taking the shopping in. Next door pulled up behind me beeping their horn. I continued to get the things out the car took them to my front door, he beeped the horn again and I shouted wait. I then got the baby aged 5 months out the car and came To the front door to which my partner had now opened the door to see what was going on. I walked back to my car and got my toddler as he didn't want to get out the car. Next door beeped the horn again. Aibu in thinking his an arse and you know what he should be grateful as, Correct me if I'm wrong I'm allowed to park on my dropped kerb. And if it weren't for us he wouldn't be to access his drive without using our dropped kerb.

OP posts:
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Ferrisday · 08/03/2017 14:25

In this case I don't think the dropped kerb is 'yours' and if you've been parking there, he could have been getting more frustrated at not being able to access their space.
However he was really rude beeping you while you were getting the children and shopping in.

There's actually a fair bit of space there, if you got it all gravelled over, you could organise a few cars on there and lessen the risk to the audi's undercarriage having to park like that

Hillarious · 08/03/2017 14:25

I think the OP was being deliberately provocative by ignoring the beeping motorist, whose own behaviour became unreasonable. But you can see the scenario - OP for some reason known (at the moment) only to herself, parks short and on the public highway. Neighbour arrives home. Politely beeps horn to indicate he's there. Beeping ignored. More beeping. Beeping ignored. Everyone pissed off.

This all stems from the OP mistakenly thinking the public highway is hers.

Hopefully, everyone will see it's a misunderstanding and all will be jolly and happy again very soon.

Hillarious · 08/03/2017 14:28

Ah - saw the reason for parking short. OP was definitely in the wrong not to acknowledge the beeping of the neighbour as she was causing an obstruction. Had she done so, the issue wouldn't have escalated. Hopefully, she's clearer now.

MerryMarigold · 08/03/2017 14:29

OP for some reason known (at the moment) only to herself, parks short and on the public highway

OP has said her dp's dad parked a car in the place where the blue audi is in the pic. so she couldn't get onto drive fully. But with baby and shopping she TEMPORARILY parked there to get the baby/ shopping out and then I assume moved car onto the street to park.

Neighbour was beeping her, knowing full well she had nowhere else to go.

OP, neighbour was being unreasonable.

Quartz2208 · 08/03/2017 14:29

It's not your dropped kerb, you don't own it, no one owns the pavement outside their house, it's a public highway, if he just uses the pavement to access his house he is using a public right of way same as you. The fact it's in front of your house does not mean you own it simply that you can drive over it.

You can't park on a dropped kerb for longer than dropping off (as a previous link said) it's as much about pedestrian access (wheelchair users)

The poster who said you were both arses is entirely right. He could have been patient, you because of your self entitlement to the dropped kerb

Saltedcaramel2016 · 08/03/2017 14:30

The pavement is not part of anyone's property so surely he has an equal right to enter his property by that route. Neither of you should be parking over the curb as you are then blocking each other. He was rude to peep but you were rude to block him from his drive.

AnUtterIdiot · 08/03/2017 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mummysboy2014 · 08/03/2017 14:31

Right I was not beeping at nobody. I was not making no noise. When he beeped I was already out the car walking down the path from dropping the shopping st the front door.
I said can you wait please
He continued to beep the horn as I was getting the baby out and as carried the car seat to the front door my partner had come to the door grabbed the baby I walked back down and got my toddler.

All I'm saying is the guy is an arse simple as that
Nothing wrong in waiting literally 2-3 minutes

Ok then that's like me getting in my car when his sorbet and friend pulled in and parked behind my car blocking me in and me beeping the hell out of it. I don't think so that's ridiculous

OP posts:
delicateears · 08/03/2017 14:31

You don't own a dropped kerb even if you pay for the installation.

It's not a possession - it's not a 'thing' - it's a facility - an alteration to a Public Footpath which runs between the houses and the highway

Even though I paid for the excavation of the public footpath and the construction of a dropped kerb with all my purchased concrete - it remains a public footpath - I don't own that bit of it - anyone can walk on it

Justwantcookies · 08/03/2017 14:33

Looking at those pictures it seems that the dropped curb is for access for both properties and is seperated from your driveways by a public path. If you put a wall or fence up to stop your neighbour accessing their drive that just makes you a complete arsehole. Its not like hes driving over your lanscaped manicured lawn is it, he is driving over what looks like a public path, same as you, but perhaps touching on the corner of your driveway by a few centimetres.

He hooted at you because you were blocking him from entering his driveway from the main road. Instead of just getting in your car and moving it back a bit you just took your sweet time and unloaded all your shopping and kids and then moved your car back. Sound like you did this on purpose?

Hooting at 6pm at night isn't an offense. How was he to know your partner was asleep? And if you didn't want him to keep on hooting you should have got in your car and moved it. You sound really pathetic.

Annesmyth123 · 08/03/2017 14:33

But maybe he's annoyed that you stop in such a way as to block his access to his drive?

Do you know there isn't shared access? Have you checked your deeds etc?

Allthebestnamesareused · 08/03/2017 14:33

He doesn't have a drive though - he has a paved front garden! Because there is no dropped kerb directly in front of his "drive".

2 cars were already parked on OP's drive. She pulled up outside to unload her toddler baby and shopping while her DH who works shifts was sleeping.
I would assume she did this to keep an eye on the children!

The neighbour was a rude twat who could have just parked on the street further along and moved his car later or sat and waited patiently. Instead he beeped again and again and put the OP under undue pressure when there was no need to do this. It would have been clear what she was doing.

delicateears · 08/03/2017 14:34

Your neighbour is an arse though - I assume he could tell you were coming back and were going to move your car (if you were going to move your car) so beeping like that shows serious disrespect to the point of f-ing and blinding.

Do you guys not get on anyway?

Original poster
Mummysboy2014 · 08/03/2017 14:35

MerryMarigold You are axaclty right.

This was the first time I had done this and as I said I was literally minutes

OP posts:
Collaborate · 08/03/2017 14:36

The dropped kerb is on the highway. There is then the grass verge and then the pavement. That is all part of the highway.

He is entitled to drive over this to access his drive. Check your deeds to ascertain the full extent of your front drive, then if you want you can erect a boundary fence on your side. But it seems to me that you parked blocking the pavement, which was why your neighbour beeped, as they quite reasonably could not understand why you couldn't park on your drive where there is enough room for two cars.

The dropped kerb serves both properties, and you should not be obstructing the highway.

Annesmyth123 · 08/03/2017 14:36

I think it looks from the photos that there was a wall or fence and at some point the wall or fence has been taken down to allow him access via the dropped kerb.

ProfessionalPirate · 08/03/2017 14:37

Neighbour being unreasonable for the beeping and lack of patience (although we'll never know how much the OP exacerbated the situation as she obviously felt a sense of entitlement being there).

But the OP is unreasonable in her attitude over a public highway/pavement/kerb that she does not own and is not entitled to obstruct.

OP, for the sake of good neighbourly relations, I would just try to make peace now. It sounds like theres some fault on both sides.

PunjanaTea · 08/03/2017 14:37

You were in the wrong, you're not allowed to park on a drop kerb, you were blocking his access to his drive, it would have been no hassle for you to pull forward to let him in. Making him wait whilst you faffed about with your shopping was unnecessary. Try thinking about what you would have liked him to do if he was the one parked over the kerb and you were trying to access your drive. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be for him to carry on doing what he was doing for five minutes whilst you sat in your car waiting for him to get onto his drive.

Akire · 08/03/2017 14:38

I'm with the OP someone paid for the drop curb to her house this covers cost and maintence to the pavement. I can't see how he can drive onto his drive 100% on the pavement he must have to go over at least some of her drive.

He doe not have a drive way and is just as bad as someone driving over a public pavement and parking in their garden. I would put up a fence as is my right. He needs to either pay for a different access to
His own garden/ drive.

Annesmyth123 · 08/03/2017 14:38

Also it looks like the dropped kerb goes right up to the tree. Which means it's in front of his drive ?

Sirzy · 08/03/2017 14:38

For people to pull up outside my neighbours house they have to block my drive. Patience at not being able to access your property because of people deciding they are allowed to block it soon wears thin!

The op shouldn't have blocked the access. When she realised he needed access she should have pulled forward.

As others have said born where unreasonable in this case.

Justwantcookies · 08/03/2017 14:40

She pulled up outside to unload her toddler baby and shopping while her DH who works shifts was sleeping.
I would assume she did this to keep an eye on the children!

So if her DH was sleeping, why did she unload the kids then if she knew she would have to move the car again. Who would be watching them whilst she manouvering the car to park? OP says the neighbour woke her husband by hooting.

Sound like the OP was just being an arse if you ask me and intentionally blocking her neighbour.

LIZS · 08/03/2017 14:40

If he only accesses his drive over the public pavement section of "your" dropped kerb and you blocked this yabu. You probably do not own the section between the end of your drive and the road. If he has to go over your land does he have a legal right of access?

Iris65 · 08/03/2017 14:41

You could have parked on the road not at the dropped kerb.
^^ This

OP ypur neighbour was wrong to keep beeping but your reaction is OTT. As for building a wall expect to see yourself in the Daily Fail having got involved in years of litigation.
A solicitor I know told me about a client who was trying to stop his neighbour from locking a gate which accessed both gardens. He ended up bankrupt and lost his house - as did she!

Kiroro · 08/03/2017 14:41

If there is a tree blocking the entrance to his property then he does not have a drive but has a paved front garden.

Quite!

Neighbor is in the wrong. What a total fuck wit.

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