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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ONLY answer the door if I recognise the person

51 replies

Fitnessfanaticc · 08/03/2017 12:48

I used to answer the door to anyone but now I only answer if I recognise the person as if I'm not expecting anyone it's almost always an on the door salesman or something else I just don't want.

If it's important they will leave a note and I can call them to come round.

I don't run upstairs or hide. I just ignore the door in full view of them. I just don't answer to anyone I do not recognise.

AIBU? And anyone else the same? Grin

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 08/03/2017 12:51

No, curiosity gets the better of me.

It's always someone in a tabbard wanting my bank details though.

imthelastsplash · 08/03/2017 12:51

I do this too - I have no shame! It's generally someone selling something (I always say I rent anyway - does anyone actually ever buy from door to door sales?) or it's the most persistent jehovahs witnesses known to man (they Knock every day at 2.30)

VestalVirgin · 08/03/2017 12:51

Our house has a phone connected to the door. I always answer that, because an old friend of my dad died as someone didn't call the ambulance when he was at their door trying to get help.

If it is a salesman, I just don't open the door.

FannyWisdom · 08/03/2017 12:52

I've stopped answering.

I used to be polite and say no thanks but they push it, Can I just ask why you don't care about Cancer/Cats/Children?
No they can fuck off.

The JWS around ere are great though, no knocking just leaflet and a chat if they spot you.

Original poster
Fitnessfanaticc · 08/03/2017 12:57

I had someone knock on my door when they had been hit by a car.

But you can tell from body language when someone is in distress and needs help. It was obvious he was distressed.

That's happened once I'm my whole life though.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 08/03/2017 12:59

Chain and spyhole. That's what they are for.

anxious2017 · 08/03/2017 13:01

I don't answer the door to anyone unless I'm expecting a delivery or can see it's the postman through the glass.

HateSummer · 08/03/2017 13:03

^I don't run upstairs or hide. I just ignore the door in full view of them. I just don't answer to anyone I do not recognise.*

That made me laugh! Good for you. I still run upstairs and hide Blush.

Wreckingball25 · 08/03/2017 13:06

Someone once said that a doorbell is an invitation, not a summons! I like that!

ShotsFired · 08/03/2017 13:14

I was once crouched on the floor by the front door doing something with a shelf unit there. My door is half-glass (this is relevant).

The bell went so I stood up and answered it.
It was a cold call so I told them to bog off (I have a prominent no cold caller sign), shut the door and resumed what I was doing.

It only occurred to me later that it must have looked like I was hiding behind the door for unwary visitors, popping up like a bloody jack-in-the-box each time! Grin

theflickyones · 08/03/2017 13:15

I used to hide, then I made myself answer and now I don't even think about it I just answer because I feel confident enough to say I'm not interested. And I take parcels for my neighbours.

Bloopbleep · 08/03/2017 13:31

Our bell is broken (and has been for years) so I often miss house callers. As I live in a predominantly retired area it's usually life insurance and funeral sales men and scammers trying to screw old folk for money for work that never gets done. I have no problem with not answering the door and then knowing I'm in.

Roomba · 08/03/2017 13:41

After a visit from a very obnoxious, intimidating bailiff who refused to believe I was the person he was looking for (assume a long gone prior occupant), I do not answer the door unless I know who it is and that they are coming. I get quite anxious when someone knocks on the door actually - I end up freezing and waiting nervously until they have gone. I feel bad about this as I've noticed my kids now go quiet when there's a knock at the door, so I feel terrible that I have passed this on to them.

I hated that my front door had some glass near the top, so people could see into the hallway. I had an internal door put in, to make a sort of vestibule area, which negated that problem and made me feel much happier.

Everyone who visits me always agrees it with me in advance anyway, and I know if I am expecting a parcel. If a friend wishes to pop in unannounced, they always ring me from the doorstep if I don't answer the door. I've never missed anyone I actually wanted to let in thus far, I have watched a lot of Virgin Media sales people, Jehovah's Witnesses and charity fundraisers walk back down my driveway disappointed though.

Natsku · 08/03/2017 13:56

I wouldn't be able to cope with the constant questioning in my mind afterwards - "Who were they? What did they want? Maybe it was really important?!" so no, I always answer the door.

Never really get anyone at the door that I don't know anyway except for JWs once (which I got ridiculously excited about as I've never had them before) and a couple of times someone trying to sell something they had made. I've got no problem saying I'm not interested. Oh and once it was someone walking past my house who rung my doorbell to tell me that they had just rescued my DD who had got stuck in the tyre swing out front Grin

Lazyafternoon · 08/03/2017 14:01

Oh I'd never considered NOT answering the door if I was able to! Sounds very odd to me. Unless you have loads of unwanted pushy sales people calling I'd always answer the door. Even then I'd probably report to the council rather than just ignoring everyone ringing the bell.

But then, despite living in a terraced house on a residential road close to town, we still don't get many people trying flog stuff or being a nuisance at the door. Maybe a couple of times in last couple of year! It's almost always parcels (I do a lot of online shopping also happy to take in for neighbours), meter readings, Tesco delivery, or another mum dropping off something that DS left behind somewhere, neighbour lost their cat, ball over the fence etc. Or a couple of times the Police community support officers have knocked door to door after burglaries to remind to lock sheds, windows when go out and that sort thing.

It would seem very anti social and unneighbourly to ignore someone at the door. I'd be offended if I'd lost my cat and thought it might be next door (or something like that), but they refused to answer the door for no good reason!!!

gggrrrargh · 08/03/2017 14:04

I didn't answer the door once, and later my neighbour said 'wasn't that fireman lovely'. They were going door to door giving advice and sorting fire alarms. Would have been very useful and a nice visit Smile

DJBaggySmalls · 08/03/2017 14:04

There's no law says you have to answer the door or phone. Chuggers are not he police, a neighbour or an emergency, they should only knock once then leave.

HecateAntaia · 08/03/2017 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndImAnElf · 08/03/2017 14:06

But if you weren't in you couldn't answer the door anyway, so choosing not to is no more anti-social than just being out! You don't stay in all day in case someone knocks looking for their cat, do you?

AQuietMind · 08/03/2017 14:06

I find it really odd that people don't answer their doors Confused

MrsTarzan1 · 08/03/2017 14:07

I hate an unexpected knock at the door! I'll answer in the daytime, but anything past 5pm then no.

Gottagetmoving · 08/03/2017 14:10

I only answer the door if I feel like it. I don't answer the landline phone either unless I am expecting a call.
You aren't obliged to answer either.

TheInterruptingSheep · 08/03/2017 14:12

Nope, I never answer the door, unless I'm expecting someone or recognise the person at the door, but I do live on a housing estate where we regularly get chuggers and unwanted sales people.

I never answer the phone if I don't recognise the number either. It used to drive DH up the wall, but he does it now as well after one nuisance call too many!

SpreadYourHappiness · 08/03/2017 14:20

I don't answer the door unless I know them either. Not do I answer the phone unless I know who it is.

FrenchLavender · 08/03/2017 14:25

YABU. Too many people trying to sell you stuff on the doorstep these days. I look out of the window and if they look like someone who is about to waste my time I just ignore them.

I'm the same with the phone. I don't answer unknown numbers and even if it's someone I know, if I am not in the mood to chat I still ignore it.