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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ONLY answer the door if I recognise the person

51 replies

Fitnessfanaticc · 08/03/2017 12:48

I used to answer the door to anyone but now I only answer if I recognise the person as if I'm not expecting anyone it's almost always an on the door salesman or something else I just don't want.

If it's important they will leave a note and I can call them to come round.

I don't run upstairs or hide. I just ignore the door in full view of them. I just don't answer to anyone I do not recognise.

AIBU? And anyone else the same?

OP posts:

Poudrenez · 08/03/2017 14:31

I don't answer the door. It's just going to be someone wanting something (heartless, but true)! It started when I got a couple of aggressive cleaning product salesmen who shouted at me because I didn't want to buy a pack of sponges for £5. After that I thought "fuck you, cruel world". I tend to just freeze and hope they can't see any movement through the frosted glass.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 08/03/2017 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpoofersAreLosers · 08/03/2017 14:35

I have a no cold caller sign that mostly works brilliantly. If someone ignores it I just look at them frostily and point to the sigh. I also tell them to check for no caller signs at other houses as most of my neighbours have them to. I'm a bit pompous about it 😂.

I only get a handful a year though.

The meter reader came yesterday and I thought of Mumsnet and all the meter reader haters. I was almost disappointed that he was so polite and friendly.

karmacoma1 · 08/03/2017 14:50

I do this.

My dh took it one step further last time it happened and opened our bedroom window to 'get a good birds eye view of them' before announcing loudly 'They have clipboards - fuck that' and shutting the window.

They were some very persistent JW's though.

DaisyQueen · 08/03/2017 14:53

I am far too nosy to ignore anyone at the door and will answer day or night which I realise is a ridiculously dangerous thing to do as OH works til late so it's only me and the kids at home.
If it's sales people I just tell them I'm busy and close the door but we have alot of parcels delivered and it's such a faff on to rearrange.

Lazyafternoon · 08/03/2017 15:08

Of course I don't stay in all day waiting for people to knock on the door looking for lost cats! But, when my cat when missing and I could hear a mewing coming from next doors shed I must had tried knocking half a dozen times before they answered - I tried different times of morning, day, evening to try and catch them! Of they had been on holiday or had just decided never to answer then it would have been one hell of mission to rescue it by scaling fences, climbing through bushes etc! Answering requests door easier all round.

I know no one is obliged to open the door. But it is selfish to ignore someone just in case they might inconvenience you. It's no wonder no-one knows their neighbours or in friendly terms with the street if you refuse to answer the door to them just in case it's someone trying to sell you a sponge.

gleam · 08/03/2017 15:15

I heard a knock today and looked out of the upstairs window. He had a clipboard with something about driveways on it, so I ignored it. Our road seems to attract a lot of tradesmen who 'are working in the area today, love'. Anyone with a hi-vis on is ignored, unless it says Severn-Trent or similar.

Justwantcookies · 08/03/2017 15:51

Thats slightly odd. I would answer the door. And if its someone selling/preaching whatever I just tell them, no thanks I'm busy and shut it again. What if is was a new neighbour moved in come to say hi or someone who needed some assistance?

SenseiWoo · 08/03/2017 16:06

I always answer. It only takes a moment to get rid of the salespeople and chuggers (who are rare anyway). If I didn't I would miss chats with neighbours and other interesting stuff.

Aridane · 08/03/2017 16:16

What - people don't answer their phones?

OliviaStabler · 08/03/2017 16:19

I never answer unless I know who it is. If I am unsure I sneak a peak.

Eolian · 08/03/2017 16:19

I always answer my door and my phone. Nothing bad has happened as a result. If it's a salesperson or a JW I say politely that I'm not interested thank you. That seems to do the trick.

hibbledobble · 08/03/2017 16:20

How do you ever receive deliveries?

Sure you may well recognise the post person, but many companies use alternative delivery methods.

allchattedout · 08/03/2017 16:23

After a visit from a very obnoxious, intimidating bailiff who refused to believe I was the person he was looking for

Oh yeah, gotta love bailiffs. I had one immediately stick his foot in my doorway to prevent me from shutting it and it took 5 minutes to get through to him that I was not a man called Matthew and that Matthew lived/used to live in the flat next door.

thecatneuterer · 08/03/2017 16:33

I hate this attitude. As someone above mentioned about what if it's a neighbour who has lost their cat - well exactly. As part of my cat-rescuing duties I need to knock on doors quite a lot to find information relating to the case I'm dealing with. I'm always grateful to those who do open the door and immensely irritated by those who don't.

Only last week I witnessed a cat being hit by a car. Someone on the street told me which house the cat was from. It was early evening. Lights were on. I could hear children inside. I knocked and rang the bell for a very, very long time, over and over again. Eventually after banging on the window they came to the window and I had to shout though it 'I think your cat is dead!!!'. That got them to answer the door. It wasn't how I would have ideally liked to deliver the news though

Mynestisfullofempty · 08/03/2017 16:35

After a visit from a very obnoxious, intimidating bailiff who refused to believe I was the person he was looking for (assume a long gone prior occupant)

That's a good thing though, because you weren't.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/03/2017 16:42

I always answer the door - but this thread has made me wonder why I don't just ignore obvious cold callers. I have always felt it would be rude to ignore them, but I haven't asked them to call and try to sell me windows or whatever - they don't mind about wasting my time, so do I have to worry about being a bit rude to them?

imthelastsplash · 08/03/2017 18:30

If I had lost a cat and my neighbour didn't answer I'd pop a not through the door. I don't hide, I look out of the window and decide whether it's someone I want to talk to.

I'm off work on the sick at the moment and a couple of days ago I'd done the school run and come home and fallen asleep on the sofa. I was woken by someone hammering on the door. I looked and it was a delivery man who wanted to leave a parcel for my neighbour. I accepted it and went back to sleep. An hour later I was woken up by my neighbour banging on the door to get the parcel. She hadn't answered her door because she was asleep.

phoenix1973 · 08/03/2017 18:35

I grew up fearing the doorbell. We used to hide behind the sofa when the milkman, bailiffs, nutty nanna came around.

So old habits die hard, but I don't hide now. I just ask who is it? Through the door. If they tell me, unless it's someone I know, the door stays shut. If ey refuse to answer me, the door stays shut. The way I see it, people can phone me.

dustarr73 · 08/03/2017 18:46

Nobody really knocks here but I have CCTV so I can see whether to open the door or not.

ironmanslady · 08/03/2017 18:51

No I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone now. I used to until one night about 9pm home alone 6 months pregnant, some man knocks on my door apparently from some company, goes on to ask if he can have a Capri sun from the box sitting on my kitchen cupboard. Yes he had been looking in my windows...
I did actually give him one in shock, and luckily he left as just at that moment my mum came walking down the path and scared the crap out of him.
My mum was fuming and reported to 101.
I only saw the seriousness of the situation after the event
He could of been harmless but still never again.

TheySayIamparanoid · 08/03/2017 19:10

I usually look out of the window and don't answer if what they want doesn't interest me!

However, a few years ago l had to knock at the door of a beautiful cottage as I'd smelt gas just past her main gates.
She said she rarely answers the door but was so glad she had and insisted I take a big bag of lovely fresh tomatoes from her greenhouse as a thankyou!

ScarletForYa · 08/03/2017 19:14

I don't answer the door to anyone unless I know them and am expecting them.

I keep the porch door locked except in the daytime and I don't have a doorbell.

Nothing a stranger or unexpected visitor has to say is of any interest to me.

Janey50 · 08/03/2017 19:29

Blimey gleam! You must have fantastic eyesight!

Meowstro · 08/03/2017 19:46

I don't really answer the door unless I'm expecting someone but I don't pretend I'm not in, just don't answer. I live a good train or car journey away from family and friends so if it were them they'd make sure I was in first or call whilst outside. Plus, I live on a main road, I'm so sick of school children knocking whilst passing and thinking it's funny

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