Do most people secretly hate weddings?

[WhistlingBetty]

It seems on here a lot of people say they don't like weddings and find them boring. I'm wedding planning- would appreciate knowing any particularly awful things to avoid. If you hate weddings then why and what could make them better?

Ours is an all day affair (well starts at 12) is fairly traditional but in our home town so not too many people traveling.

But provide copious alcohol

Nah. Make alcohol available (a bar) but don't pay for it all - people will only abuse the generosity and end up tired & emotional.

I love weddings too - especially child free ones, as long as I'm fed and watered!

Ordeal is right for some weddings! One I went to had a horse and carriage to take the couple from the church to the venue. Very pretty and very very slow! Everybody arrived at the hotel at least an hour before the bride and groom. They then pissed about with photos for about an hour and a half. No where to sit because the venue was a marquee and we weren't allowed in there. So we stood, drinking, outside on a coolish day.

We finally sat down to a cold buffet around 4 ish. No food since breakfast. We had to go up to the buffet table when it was our table's turn. Not much vegetarian food left. I was starving. Worst wedding I've been to.

I'm an introvert so find the whole day a bit too much. We were at a wedding last year that started at noon and didn't finish until midnight. We were staying with family so had to wait until they were ready to leave, if it had been local I'd have been home hours earlier.

Having said that, it was a really lovely wedding and I always enjoy seeing family who we might not often see. I also enjoy having a nice meal and love to get a wedding favour.

We're going to one in the Summer which is 100 miles away (no idea why seeing as the couple are both local to us) and I've met the groom twice (apparently, I only remember one very brief meeting with him) and have never met the bride, neither has my husband for that matter. My husband knows the groom but isn't exactly close to him, just the occasional email exchange is the only contact they've had in the last four or five years. No one else we know has been invited and we've been invited to the whole thing, again starting at noon. My husband wants to go though because he feels it's rude to turn down an invitation.

God, that sounds shit. Work out what budget gives enough good food and drink and invite your number of guests based on that. Work backwards.

I love weddings but it's the people that make it. I love my family and I love seeing them so weddings are always fun.

I prefer afternoon weddings personally. A 12 o'clock wedding is a tiring event. Sorry! A good buffet and alcohol that isn't extortionate. No seating plan. Photos that don't last an age or good canapés if they do. Love music is always a plus. Lots of mingling

I hate them because once I've seen the dress, I cba any more. I want food then to go home.

I've never met anyone IRL who doesn't love a wedding. I don't know anyone who would want to take their kids to a wedding (I asked friends and they looked at me like I was batshit?!). Everyone was asking me where they could stay even when I pointed out to many that it wasn't that far from home. My family even came up the night before and stayed in hotels 'to be on the safe side' even though only about 1.5 hrs away and not getting married till 2. (Got married close to where we live and DHs family)
So anyway, try to have some consideration for others, but ultimately do what you want

I love weddings! I did go to one that was not very much fun, but it was interesting, so not all bad.

Love a good wedding

I agree with the OP. I hate being smiley and nice for the day whilst the bride expects compliments on their dress choice..

I love weddings! I wish we went to more...

However, we did go to one that was completely awful. The Bride & Groom got on a horse and cart and went up the steepest hill in the world for about 40 minutes... and we all had to follow in heels, and with tired hungry kids... then stand around for an hour up there while they took photos. Eventually a well meaning groomsmen ran to the most local shop and bought crisps for all the kids because they were all crying!

Sorry, hate weddings. It's expensive for guests to attend weddings and TBH I'd much rather spend the limited money I have on something of my choice. Also I don't do child free weddings. No one to look after her and even if I did I don't want to spend my weekends away from her, she already spends enough time in childcare during the week.

I'm on my own with DD and work full time. I just about manage to get through the working week. Social obligation on a weekend is just enough to tip me over the edge. I need my weekends to re-charge my batteries, to catch up on the housework and prepare for the next weeks. Weddings are just another thing to do.

I wish you the best with your wedding though. I hope your guests are more grateful than I would be.

Weddings are ok. But all I really want is to go to a party and they are sooooo expensive.
Hotel, outfit, present, travel there. It can easily cost over £300 per wedding.

If it was any other night out there's no way I would spend that amount attending a party.

sorry for being the only miserable git on the thread

Actually the worst wedding I've been to was when there were far too many guests crammed into too small a space, with far too long between "bits" of the event. We didn't know anyone. That very morning we'd just discovered our latest round of IVF hadn't worked then they announced the bride was pregnant. I was looking into someone's pram at a very sweet small baby, cooing and smiling, and its mother turned the pram around with a scowl at me. It was shit with a capital SH!

Sorry, hate weddings. It's expensive for guests to attend weddings and TBH I'd much rather spend the limited money I have on something of my choice

Then don't go. It's not compulsory.

Most of the weddings I have attended are very long and boring. I attend them out of duty and try to have a nice time. I don't object to weddings or marriage but I sometimes am just puzzled how they end up hours and hours and hours long, and a lot of it must be as boring for the couple as it is for the guests.
The photos take forever, the speeches seem to take forever (one wedding had about 6 different ones). When I was maid of honour it wasn't relaxing it was stressful, sweaty and hard bloody work.
Then I could add in the ones I didn't go to that would have cost an arm and a leg in travel and like a mini holiday to spend with people I don't really know.
I've never married myself, no one has asked me, it's not jealousy - I think if I ever get the chance to I will def have a good party but skip all the stuffy boring traditional parts of the day.
The best wedding I went to was in a registry office, over and done with pretty quick with all the nice bits, and immediately on to a lovely little buffet in walking distance, bit of music, home in bed by 10pm!

The worst wedding was when the buffet run out. We had waited since 2pm for food in a hotel, nothing else nearby to go find some food, finally got to the buffet at 8pm (we were last table allowed to go up) and nothing left. I was pregnant and hangry so drove to McDonalds on the way home

Now that divorce is so common, in fact, quite a few of my friends have got divorced within a year or two of getting married, I do tend to be quite loathe to give up my time and money for something that may just be a flash in the pan.

I hate weddings. Sorry op. Mainly because they generally involve being half starved for most of the day. My worst was one which started at 10 but the meal wasn't until 5. No canapés or snacks in between. The bride and groom brought their own packed lunch while the rest of us had nothing. I'm still bitter! I also hate the 'welcome Mr and Mrs X' bit as it makes me sad that the woman has given up her name (her choice of course, but it makes me sad). I also hate being made to sit and make awkward small talk with randoms over the meal. Please sit people with people they know! But to be honest I mainly hate them because I'm insanely jealous of people who are in love. So you can probably discount most of my complaints!

I know ppl say it's an invitation not a summons but seriously part of being a grown up is doing shit you don't want to do so as not to offend friends/family.

I don't like the long breaks between parts of the wedding. Bloody boring.

I love weddings! Love that the represent celebrating the love & commitment of two people. I also love the day itself and everyone getting dressed up & making an effort. I'm in my 30s & stopped clubbing a long long long time ago, but at a wedding I'm on the dance floor all night!

Our wedding was one of the two best days of my life (the other being DC being born).

It's very un-MN but I have no issues with poems instead of readings, children not being invited, poems asking for cash etc. As long as it's done politely I think it's up to the bride & groom to shape their day. Guests can of course choose not to attend or choose to not adhere to requested gifts/gift lists.

Have a wonderful day when it comes!

I love a wedding! Love the outfit planning, present buying, hotel booking, insider info chats with (generally) the bride, the arranging to meet mates in the pub / hotel bar before for a livener, seeing the bride, vows, being teary eyed, being smug because I remembered to buy confetti / rice, the drinks, air kisses, outfit congratulations, thanking the relieved / generous parents, the first post ceremony glass of fizz, falling on the canapés, photos, table discovery, food, shreaking with laughter, wine, speeches, love, chats in loos / over a sneaky fag, first dance, more old mates arriving, cake cutting, dancing, shots (there's always one..!), women removing Spanx in loos and looking happier for it, fresh air, water, more wine, more dancing, lots more dancing, heels off, hotel / venue sofa area, night caps, another night cap, anecdotes, bacon sarnies, another night cap, Come On Eileen and bed.

What is not to ❤?

I love weddings