To be angry at DH for quitting his job???

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I am so angry and frustrated. He feels that i am BU and that I should be supportive.
He have his reasons for leaving but in my opinion when you have 3 DC you don't just walk off without having another option.

He pay childcare, he doesn't mind paying even when he doesn't have he would take a loan or go on credit but he will never leave us need anything. I always try to go with what we have so i manage money better than him.

I think he got fired but didn't want to tell you. Otherwise he'd just go on the sick and look for another job, as he'd still get sick pay. It makes no sense.

Oh well I don't want to cook or look after children any more, so I won't.

That's ok, isn't it? I mean, I will just get loans and let them order themselves takeaways while there's food in the fridge

You are running yourself in circles trying to keep your household together.

Give me a list of what "A Good MAn" does. Not what he IS, what he DOES.

OP at the start of last year I left a job because of extreme stress although it sounds a bit different from your DH's situation (boss was doing illegal things, extreme bullying etc) I went to the GP and got help though, is he willing to do that? Is he willing to learn to cook from you so you can work fulltime if that is an option after you recover?

• I was working once and he wasn't, we only had one dd back then i came back at 4pm to found out she did eat today and when i asked what he said she had cornflakes in the morning and an apple an hour ago. It was half term so she was home all day watching tv. No food been prepared. House was clean to be fair*

How fucking hard is it for him to make a sandwich in the middle of the day? That is just lazy and neglectful. And was probably deliberate to make sure you didn't dare to leave him looking after his own child again.

You are aware that him "loving you" isn't enough. He needs to show some respect for you, too and not act like a lazy, belligerent 12 year old.

Sounds like he shirks responsibility when things are not going his way. That leaves you to do it because he won't. Not much concern here for you and the dcs at all. I'd be angry and thinking longer term about if this man-child will ever step up and be the husband and father he needs to be.

I very much doubt an employer would take back an employee who has flounced out. A colleague of mine walked out in what sound like similar circumstances. I was glad to see the back of them, the constant rows and sniping were unsettling to the whole department.

My colleague could have looked for another job (I pointed out a few to them). Instead they wanted to stay in the hope of getting a big compromise payout (didnt happen in the end).

He does care i know and deep down he is a good man. I feel bad for bashing him like that. He was extremely depressed when i left dd with him, I wasn't supposed to while in his condition. He did try to end his life once as he felt that he is losing us. He doesn't know how to deal with things but how do u teach a grown man that. He get round up and close up on himself when he fail at something. Depression and kicking himself is the only way for him to deal with hard life turns.
I know he loves his family because, i have seen him as they said taking food out of his mouth to feed them. He did give up a lot to give us a better life. I know he will be looking for new job and he probably already started but finding a job is not that easy, and i know how hard for him to settle.

yes that's lovely.

But what does he actually DO

OP you sound so loving and patient with him. I'm not sure I would be so generous with him being good " deep down" as that isn't actually any help to you. What happens to you when he's not able to work or sort the kids? You can't just quit can you? But he can and does. If this was me I think I'd be giving him some time to sort himself out but thinking is this the future you want . Is he always going to be like this? You need to think about you in all this, not only his wants and needs.

Most of the time i feel i have 4 kids not 3.
I feel responsible for him. I wish i can protect him like i protect my dcs from the cruel life we are in. I wish i can find him something he love to do.
I did think of leaving him b4 to be honest. But:

1. felt bad for dd who was so sad and told me I don't want daddy to live in different house. It just broke me.
2. felt bad again for leaving him while he needed my support. Its like when he is working we are happy and if he isn't i will leave feels selfish.
3. i love him

Yep. And again, that's lovely.

And what does he do that shows you he is a nice man?

I am just angry. It was so stupid of him. I know now he would be wishing he didn't react this way. But i think its too late now.

Theonly probably not something out of space.
We did move away looking for better future. It wasn't something that he wanted but did for us. I think this maybe no 1 on the list of his depression. But there is no future at all otherwise.
He put all of his earnings in the family account leaving himself short of pocket money to make sure we have enough.
I am defending him now, i think thats helping me calm down a bit.

I changed jobs when I was struggling 3 years ago, dropped a huge amount of cash and practically bankrupted us but my hubbie was so supportive. All he said was he wanted me to be happy and we would get by. I can totally see your point but if this was the other way round and you had quit your job I dont think the comments would be as harsh. I hope he gets something else soon, mh is such a terrible illness even one more day at work could have broken him. Support him and try and up your salary for a bit, I was the main earner for years till I retrained. My heart goes out to you all .

Oh bloody hell I'd LTB. He sounds awful and you'd probably be better off on your own.

Thank you hannah for sharing. I know tomorrow we will both wake up with a better attitude. I am not going to drop the ceiling off. I just wished that he took my advice as i saw this coming but he was so sure that he is handling it.
I hope this time he will find something that he love to do.

Wow I started work in the early 90s and had my fair share of asshole bosses who drove me to ADs but you know, bills and stuff kept me going there. Lived on my own mainly too!

Hope he's not woken up today and given his head a wobble, OP.

(Scratch the "not" in the above post 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Looks like he is going back to work

Yay!! How did you manage that, and so quickly too!

I stayed out of it. I think he realised he did a big mistake and Talked to his boss.
Apparently both of them was very rude.
Hope he will look for something else but while working as I don't want this to happen again in a couple of months.